Lapsed Catholic

[HerRoyalCarbyLess]

I was raised roman catholic, I had Holy communion but never had confirmation. I still consider myself Catholic, but I haven't been to a church in years, and of course I can't right now.
But I'm really struggling with mental health difficulties right now and apparently getting back to religion can help.
Now, I don't believe the bible as an actual account of things that happened, but I do believe there is something more. What, I don't know, but something. This can't just be it.
So does anyone know of any good ways for an extremely bad Catholic to get back into being Catholic?
My children attend a Catholic school, but have never been baptised into a faith, as I believe they should make their own decisions about faith and religion, and to attend church I'd need to take my younger two with me, which also puts me off... unless I can find a weekday mass to attend (as I said, I'm aware I can't go right now anyway)
But yeah, basically. Help? Anyone?

Hmmm. I don't normally frequent these boards, but saw this in active threads so thought I'd throw a few ideas about for you. Don't try to find out what Catholicism is and try to fit yourself into that.

You need to ask yourself some questions :

What are the key values that you hold dear? How does this fit into your view of the world?

I have spent most of my adult life thinking about my own answers to these questions. I can tell you where I am currently at in my thinking, but of course you may come to different conclusions.

I was raised Catholic, turned to atheism in my late teens, and gradually formed my current view over years of thinking.

I believe that Jesus was a historical figure who tried to show mankind a better way of being, if treating each other. I am undecided as to whether he was the Son of God, if indeed whether there is a God. At the moment, I am prepared to accept the mystery. But I am still thinking about it. So my life is based on emulating Jesus. Being kind, forgiving, loving, not judging. These are the values I hold dear. This has done wonders for my mental health.

I don't need to go to church to do this.

I agree that church isn't important in following the teachings of jesus, being kind, forgiving and accepting of others. I just kind of feel I'd benefit from the community of a church, as I'm generally lonely and don't have many RL friends.

Okay, well Church is probably for you then. This might be a but controversial, but you might be better off checking out your local Baptist church. The baptist Church tends to have a younger mix and has seen increasing attendance over the years, so I've been told. Catholic churches are struggling with falling numbers... and some congregations are very old.

Why not see if you can do an RCIA course. You don't have to go through with confirmation at the end if you don't want to. But it's a great way to learn more and to meet new people.

Would I need to as I am technically already Catholic? I was baptised into the faith.

If you feel you need the community of going to a church why not look online. All my llc churches are currently live streaming services and it still feels very much a community. You can comment and see others comments and ask for special prayers

Good luck!

*local

I have far too much experience as a very lapsed Catholic and have just out my children through FHC prep. Look at the Alpha purse.

I have previously been a lapsed Catholic.

The first place to start, in my view, would be to reach out to your local church. Just go in and sit at the back for a few Masses once lockdown is lifted. See if you reconnect with it and try to really listen (I know it's hard not to zone out sometimes 😬)
There is usually a Parish newsletter with details of coffee morning etc, usually at the back of the church where the Order of Mass are kept. Once you feel comfortable you could pop along, or just ask the Priest if you can have some advice on restarting. I'm sure he will be more than happy to help you. Good luck and Happy Easter

Thanks everyone.
Happy Easter.
My 6 year old is asking me why jesus hasn't come back yet I've told her its not time yet.

I am sorry you are suffering from mental health difficulties.

My main advice is take it slowly and understand its OK to question. Catholicism even Christianity) is just a way in to relationship with God. It's not the only way. You could try talking to God first. Tell him how you feel. Ask him stuff. Even about questions of belief.

Another thing to try is watching Fr Mike Schmitz on YouTube. His videos are really inspiring. He's a bit hard line American Catholic but if you can get past that it's so helpful. Try him first. I hope you like him.

Or for a bit of Christian mindfulness try the lectio 365 app. It's a very short time to relax, breathe and pray, a daily short bible reading. Might not be your thing right now. Try it? Could be helpful if you dont know where to start in prayer.

I too was a very lapsed Catholic (that's practically a religion all of its own, right?!).

Long story of how I got back into it but short story is FHC for my eldest son. After about 6 months of church attendance with him I finally went to confession and started taking communion again. Very glad I did.

The big change was when I started talking to the priest. We had a few chats about all my doubts and questions (we still do) before I felt ready to go to confession.

So yes try church attendance. You could try a mass on church services tv. It's not like the real thing but at least you'd know the order of mass a bit better. Or PM me and I will link you to my church masses, not live streamed but my priest is great.

www.churchservices.tv/whats-on-now/

Happy to talk more about this. If there was ever a time to take up faith, this is it. I wish you well with whatever you decide to do.

Just to add to ZenNudist post ... there are also quite a few Masses live streamed via mcnmedia.tv/schedule.

Between this and Church Services.tv you will be able to partake in Mass at most times on Saturday evening or throughout Sunday.

I also find Fr Mike inspirational. You will also find other great material on youtube. I believe there are also some churches also posting mass on there.

Another great resource for me has been Catholic Answers.com. Again some inspirational presenters and lots of reference material on what Catholics believe, and more importantly linking it all back to the bible and Jesus' ministry. There are regular Q&As from Catholics and non Catholics.

I pray you find strength, encouragement and inspiration to help you improve.

But don't forget God's helpers He put on earth... the doctors
and councillors ... sometimes you need medical help and counselling to heal your health ... as part of Gods love!!!

I’d have a chat with your local priest. Explain the situation and go along to mass. Make yourself known. There will probably be groups at your church you can get involved in, whether they are bible/faith based or things like knit and natter.
Another thing you could think about is confirmation. You would need to do some prep for it, which would get you asking yourself and the church all the right questions, and build a relationship with the church.
I’m a bit confused about your stance with your children though. If they are at Catholic school, you are to some extent raising them as Catholic. Why wouldn’t you take them to mass? It is what they will be learning in school. And how old are they? Have they started prep for Holy Communion yet? They will be given the opportunity and that could be a way for you to get more involved, if they decide to do it (one of my DCs is confirmed, the other isn’t).

Hi OP. I too was lapsed. I began to say the Rosary each day and gained so many graces that way...it was a like a fire was lit inside me. If you want a community but don't feel ready to join the local parish community just yet, there are many online Catholic forums and blogs who would be only too happy to 'meet' you.

Returning to my faith was one of the best things I ever did. Ask Jesus and the Blessed Mother for help and they will help.

Thank you everyone

Just to answer about the kids. They attend Catholic school because it happens to be the best school in the area. They are fantastic, and I know my children are learning about Catholicism there, but they have not been baptised, so no preparations for holy communion.
I'm letting them decide if they have a faith or not as they get older.
My oldest is due to start high-school in September, he will be attending a Catholic High school, but our first choice was actually a regular old school. No religion attached at all. Unfortunately it is much over subscribed, but hopefully the second choice will be a good fit for him.
He is very much an atheist at the moment, but I'm living proof that that can change as you grow and develop and learn more about different religions and beliefs.

As PP's have said, now is an easy time to dip your toes back into church. Just find an online Mass or service. If you watch on a small screen with headphones, even your family won't know!
See of your local church is atraning anything. See if they have a Facebook page. Otherwise you've got some good suggestions above. I would add, "Royal Docks Catholics" on YouTube and walsingham are doing a 24hr live stream (walsingham tv on YouTube, walsingham blog on FB or www.walsingham.org )

When churches re-open. If you don't want to go on Sunday yet. Try a weekday Mass, if you want to meet people you may have to go on a Sunday though, AND join in with tea and coffee afterwards. (Though some churches might have a coffee morning after daily Mass. Small market towns often do it on market days). It might be useful to see which Mass the school parents attend, especially if your kids are coming with you.

Also Catholics are very good at not talking to people, especially if they don't show signs of wanting to be talked to. A lot of our people don't like the social aspect. So if you do, go to the places where the social stuff is happening, such as the hall/parish room after Mass.

I believe that Jesus was a historical figure who tried to show mankind a better way of being, if treating each other. I am undecided as to whether he was the Son of God, if indeed whether there is a God. At the moment, I am prepared to accept the mystery. But I am still thinking about it. So my life is based on emulating Jesus. Being kind, forgiving, loving, not judging. These are the values I hold dear. This has done wonders for my mental health.

Thank you so much for these words. They perfectly describe where I am, at the moment. My eldest is just about to join a Catholic secondary school and while I describe myself as agnostic (openly, to him) this sums up how I feel about my church and why I still describe myself as Catholic, too.

I do however find peace in going to mass, though I don't go regularly and thankfully my priest is just pleased to see us when we do go, he doesn't express judgment.

I don't know, I have been wondering how come we made the school choice we did but ultimately it's about living the values you describe, not the strict doctrine of the church as such.

Hi @SpeedofaSloth I dont know how @HerRoyalCarbyLess got on but its good that you posted. You could always get your own 'lapsed' thread but no need when the title sums it up so well.

I once heard someone famous describe themselves as 'culturally Catholic, spiritually agnostic' and I thought it very apt description for me at the time. I was non churchgoing, not interested in religion but identified myself as Catholic. I don't know why.

So from me at least you get validation that it's OK to be Catholic but have doubts. All good comes from God and if by his grace you find yourself at peace by attending mass then that is a wonderful thing.

I found attending mass really spoke to me and got me to the point I could work through my doubts. I still question, it's a work in progress.

You are right that whatever your creed it is how you live that matters. For me I find my faith makes me more determined to try and live Christian values and being Catholic with our emphasis on sin and forgiveness it allows me to make a bad job of it but keep trying!

Choosing a faith school for my dc encouraged me to refamiliarise myself with my own faith and gave me the courage to explore it. In a way faith school for your dc just lays some groundwork for them. They will need to build their own relationship with God in their own time. If you wish you can do the same.