I'll start by saying I was a church goer. I believed, I had faith, I went every Sunday and was part of a church. Now, I'm not really any of those thinfst. Lots of things have happened since then that have shaken my faith beyond repair, it's not that I don't believe necessarily but more so that I no longer have any respect for God if he is real and don't believe he's the God people will try to tell you he is (omnipotent, benevolent, all kind, all loving etc etc). Essentially I no longer know whether he is or he isn't and if he is, what kind of force he is.
But one thing that has always got me thinking, even when I was a church goer, is how do people marry up this all loving, all kind, father like God we're told about with the monster that is talked about in the old testament? He really was to be feared in the OT. He was cruel, and murderous and frankly, pretty damn scary. So how do you marry that to the picture that's painted of him now?
If God is real, then he is the same God as described in the OT. The same God that murdered thousands, told his followers to kill their sons to prove loyality, commanded the killings of women and children etc... and therefore, something to be feared is he not?