Faith - I don’t know

[Annemarie2002]

As the title says really. I regularly attend church and am a member of my church but I’m just not feeling it! I believe in God and I can honestly say it’s a lovely church that one of my close friends also attends but I just don’t feel moved when I’m there and like this morning, I left it right up until the service started to get there then left before the teas and coffees were given out whereas before I used to love the fellow ship side of things as well as the service etc. I just feel so bleugh about the whole thing!

I don’t think it helps that I feel a little trapped. It’s a small church in a small town and if you don’t attend for a few weeks you get a message from the vicar and other members checking on you. It never used to bother me before... for some reason now I’m finding it claustrophobic.

Where has my faith gone? Is it time to take a break? Should I speak to my vicar about all this? They’re lovely, lovely people but I’m almost dreading Sunday coming round with my inner turmoil of whether to go or not!

Any thoughts/advice anyone?

Do you have a spiritual director you could talk this through with? If you google spiritual director with the name of your diocese it should give you the contact person.

Take a break. It sounds like the church is more problematic than your faith/lack of faith. Contact the vicar & say you won't be attending for a couple of months (you don't have to give a reason) & that you'd rather they didn't go to the trouble of reaching out. Do the things that make you feel spiritually nourished - meditation, reading, music, being in nature - whatever. But most of all, cut yourself some slack. Faith comes & goes. It's all ok x

Thankyou for the suggestions. I’m going to give myself this week to think it through. Both your answers are interesting as it’s almost like the two parts of my brain... one person saying talk about it, the other one saying just chill and take a break. I need to decide my next step. Thanks again for reading xx

It sounds like you are not keen on your church, which is not the same as having lost faith in God. Perhaps you need to try a different church. What are your options?

Bit of a woo suggestion but could try talking to God about it. Ask for guidance on what to do.

In case it is a faith issue I attach a link to a Fr Mike Schmitz video. Breeze past the Catholic purgatory bit at the beginning and listen to what he says about what he terms 'dark night of the senses' or 'dark night of the soul'. Metaphors for not getting anything out of prayer. Could be helpful in your situation. Hes saying that when you aren't feeling God's grace but you continue to choose Him anyway by continuing to pray, continuing to worship and continuing to do good works, its a great opportunity to really improve on your relationship with God. He says by doing this you are showing that you love God for Himself and not for the gifts he usually gives you. Hmmmm maybe a bit US hardline Catholic for you but give him a go.

I also like his 'Faith is not something you lose' but I haven't watched it for a while and not sure it will apply to your situation.

Faith changes so what feeds you when you are 20 might no longer be what you need when you are 50. That is normal. I remember getting really frustrated with my church when the children were little. They were getting a lot out of it in toddler groups and a community of people who loved them but I felt really stuck. I ended up going to other Christian groups and the end result was ordination. Opps. I'm not recommending as a way out of your current difficulty but there was something about 'I would t do it that way' that prompted me to add to what I was doing on a Sunday. All part of a faith journey.

In Islam it isn't obligatory for women to attend the Masjid (mosque). Praying at home is more rewarding.
Basically if we want to go we can go but the Masjid is not the central focus for women in Islam. Even for men, it's really for the five daily prayers where one stands side by side with people of all races, the richest man and poorest man in unity. Showing no one is better than the next.
You can pray to God wherever you are. Whether you are sitting at home, in a bus, lying down in bed. The main connection is the one with God and not any building. I think it's good to take a break and self reflect without any pressure. After all, women have a load of other things to do and it's difficult to be expected to be anywhere regularly.
I hope you find the peace that you are looking for.