Muslim mums on Christmas ...

[stacey2910]

Hi I'm a revert with a 3 year old and 3 month old.. wanting to still celebrate Christmas, not in a religious way but to just still do festive things and buy presents eat food be charitable etc.
My husband is really against it even though my background and family don't follow any religion and still buy me and my little one presents and still want too. I still want to decorate the house no tree of course. Its really getting me down that he's so against it to the point we're we are currently not talking. Any advice or opinions or help is welcome...

Beating women is not a part of Islam at all. As someone who has an Indian background I know that comes from culture. In another religion women have no status at all. But that is not Islam.

This video explains it

@babba2014 please do send the link i am interested to see what's said. I don't understand why it can't just be enjoyed why does it have to be so religious and wrong, why can't it just be fun.
@FuckBalls thank you for asking I am safe x

I think if your whole family, both sides are all Muslim and all your relatives close friends and family friends etc are too then it's much easy to not care about xmas and the holidays if you have never celebrated or cared for it especially maybe time ago 10 20 years but now in this day and age it is commercialised everything is!
But to be born into a family were only one half is Muslim and that half you don't see often, (me being white is the reason) and the white non religious half of the family who we do see and who does come round and babysit and generally is a huge part of both mine and my sons life, then it's hard to not want to enjoy it all. I just feel really stuck between a rock and a hard place. This for me has nothing to do with religion. (Christmas I mean)

I'm a convert as well. Our children spend Xmas with my family and we go on holiday!

I think that makes it easier because we are not celebrating Christmas, in our house, so to speak and it means the children are accepting of religious difference from an early age.

We make a big deal of the Eids and they are very much our family celebrations. We also put up decorations for Ramadan too.

Halloween I draw the line at and I am very clear that we do not participate in that at all.

Growing up I was told that Santa didn’t come to Hindu kids’ houses, but that if we were good we might be able to visit him — then dad would take us to the grotto. We never had trees or decorations or even a Christmas dinner.

But my Muslim friends did the opposite. They had the tree with a massive moon and star on the top, decorations, lights, big family Chicken dinner, but didn’t do the Santa thing at all and were told from the beginning that Santa wasn’t real.

So I think you could do the latter (Jesus was a prophet too, so celebrating Christmas and Eid isn’t a bad thing even by the religion).

Hi OP

There are clearly very different views and the beauty of it all is that it is very much how you interpret it and why. And everyone is entitled to their interpretation and not feel we have to impose our interpretation as right and onto others.

We see it as a purely commercial occasion but are happy to celebrate it as Jesus' birthday, after all he is a prophet we believe in.

It's no different to mother's Day, Halloween, valentine's Day. We celebrate it all because it's fun and want our children to enjoy all aspects of British culture.

I absolutely hated growing up in a school where I was the only Muslim child. Children are innocent and there is no need to labour the point of Christmas is not for Muslims agenda until they are older. I felt the odd one out and cannot tell you how much it made me sad.

Enjoy Christmas, it's just a bit of fun. Your DH needs to lighten up. Try talking to him but explain why you want to do this and how much it means to you.

Why no Santa? Its not as if he has anything to do with christianity.

He doesn't get to forbid anything. You stay there and it's your child too and you can do whatever the heck you want.

You better nip that kind of language in the butt asap, its worryingly controlling.

That being said, if I didn't believe in Jesus then I don't think I'd be having Christmas. It's like crashing the birthday party of someone I don't know. But rude tbh lol. I'm sure he'd forgive you as the little one would enjoy it though.

I am not a Muslim so I don't know what your holy book says about marriage, but, as a Christian, I have alarm bells ringing at you saying it gets ugly if you try to reach a compromise with your husband. Surely marriage should involve discussion of important matters rather than one person imposing their view? I don't see why you can't have a celebration of some sort myself, most Christmas celebrations have little to do with Jesus these days.

Just rebrand Christmas. It’s the C-word that’s causing the problem. If you talk instead about wanting to prepare for a winter get together of the Ummah and about trying to ensure everyone feels welcome with carefully chosen winter-themed decorations, food and gifts, I think you’ll be able to sell the idea to your husband.

In America, the generic greeting Happy Holidays is often used around this time of year. There is an appreciation that it is a time for family reunions and feasts for people from all sorts of different backgrounds, not just the Christian majority. By celebrating, non-Christians are not being disloyal to their own culture.

And even if Muslims do choose to reflect on Jesus during the festive period, I find that entirely understandable. Isa, the beloved prophet, known to Christians as Jesus, belongs to Islamic tradition just as much as to Christianity.

And whilst I know it would probably be contrary to Islamic sensibilities, I would rather like to witness a Nativity Play based on the Quranic version of Jesus' birth. Mary having a difficult labour and a talking Baby Jesus would certainly enliven proceedings!

We get the kids new year gifts instead of christmas presents. Positioned as start the new year on a positive note. That way when they go back to school they dont feel they have missed out.

No decorations in house but they send out Christmas cards to friends.

Franz1238

Why do you need to do proxy gifts?

It's really interesting to learn how people of different faiths adapt or avoid Christmas. I know this wasn't the OP's intention, but it's a great thread from that point of view.

Christmas is a pagan thing just like Ramadan has pagan origins also!
I have carefully studied religion.

Just for balance-my close family are devout christians (Baptist) and won't have a christmas tree, Santa or stockings- all too pagan.

Which is true.

@OutwiththeOutCrowd
Thank you I have noted what you have said and rebranded the c word and it was successful, winter themed decorations mostly and a few presents I do feel happier and nobody is missing out.

That's excellent news bigmamama!

We generally focus on the winter solstice but just focusing on a change of seasons in general is maybe an idea? We can't deny what happens outside our window.

Babba2014