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Original poster

I want to baptise my children but....

28 replies

CADS · 17/08/2007 13:49

Hi

Just wondering if someone can answer a quick question for me.

I'm a lapsed Catholic who is intending to return to the Church after a few years away. My children haven't been baptised yet because we didn't have anyone Catholic to become a godparent. However, last night my mother in law mentioned that despite what DH and I thought, my DH was never christened.

So, the question is, can I still have my children baptised even though DH hasn't been christened? My mother is coming over so we can finally overcome the lack of Catholic godparent but now we seem to be facing other hurdle.

Thanks
CADS

OP posts:
Iklboo · 17/08/2007 13:50

Sorry, I don't know myself...could DH be baptised at the same time?

meandmyflyingmachine · 17/08/2007 13:51

I think so.

I'm pretty sure that our priest (very nicely ) told dh it didn't matter whether or not he'd been baptised, as he isn't a Catholic.

Check with your priest.

Ladymuck · 17/08/2007 13:53

It shouldn't be a problem in getting your children baptised provided he is happy that they will be brought up in the Catholic faith. Presumably dh isn't a Catholic as if he hasn't been baptised then he won't have made his first communion or have been confirmed?

Original poster
CADS · 17/08/2007 13:55

That was quick.

I don't think so from what I remember adults have to go through a much longer process than children/infants.

OP posts:
ChippyMinton · 17/08/2007 13:56

My DC are baptised Catholic, but I am C of E, which didn't seem to matter (DH is Catholic). The DC have one Catholic and one non-Catholic godparent each, which was acceptable too.

yeahinaminute · 17/08/2007 14:01

I'm Catholic DH wasn't - now is - his choice I hasten to add !!
There should be no problem if your DH isn't christened ( my parish priest wouldn't make a deal out of it anyway!) as to godparents - they don't have to be Catholic either - can be CofE, Methodist etc

meandmyflyingmachine · 17/08/2007 14:02

Ah, now we were definitely told one had to be a Catholic.

Original poster
CADS · 17/08/2007 14:03

The problem is DH hasn't been baptised or christen in any relgion, which is what is concerning me. He is however, happy to support me and even attend Church as a family.

OP posts:
meandmyflyingmachine · 17/08/2007 14:03

Although no-one ever checked.

Lying to your priest probably not the best start though .

Fireflyfairy2 · 17/08/2007 14:03

I am Catholic. Dh is not. Our children were baptised RC. We were able to get them baptised as we had agreed when we got married in an RC church that any children we were blessed with, would be brought up in faith.

I don't see why your children couldn't be baptised.

Original poster
CADS · 17/08/2007 14:04

Yes, I have been told that there definitely has to be one Catholic godparent.

OP posts:
meandmyflyingmachine · 17/08/2007 14:04

I'm pretty sure our priest said it didn;t matter whether he was baptised at all. It'll be fine. Can you not just ask the priest?

Pixiefish · 17/08/2007 14:05

I have a catholic godshild and am Church of Wales

Fireflyfairy2 · 17/08/2007 14:06

Well, the reason both, or one at least (afaik it's both here in Ireland, but then I didn't ask) has to be Catholic is to help raise the child in the Catholic way. Take them to church & be there for their sacraments. The whole point of choosing a god parent is to choose someone who is willing & able to raise your child in the way you want them to in your absence. For some, religion is a great deal, for others, not so great.

meandmyflyingmachine · 17/08/2007 14:06

Yes. My two have one Catholic and one Anglican godparent each. Only one had to be Catholic.

Original poster
CADS · 17/08/2007 14:08

I'm waiting for the priest to get back to me. He is only holiday till the end of the month and my mom arrives on the 4th of Sept. I just don't know how to approach the issue with DH and definitely don't want to spend eternity in hell for lying

OP posts:
brendar75 · 17/08/2007 14:12

My DH is no religion too, never baptised / christened or been in a church (except with me and my family!) and we had our DS christened RC in Dublin, no problem with one parent not being religious at all. Can't remember about godparents, ours were RC anyway.

Fireflyfairy2 · 17/08/2007 14:12

Just tell him you want your children baptised. Say you are Catholic but dh was never baptised & ask if there is a problem with that?

it's like me going to ask our priest to marry us... I was sick for 2 days at the thought of it.

I went in & said Father I am getting married, I have come to see what date in April suits you. He looked up his book & give me a date.. great.. asked dh's name etc.. then he said he'd have to meet him before the wedding. It was then I explained that he was a protestant & would the priest have any trouble marrying us.

He was lovely, so lovely in fact he brought dh to him for 6 weeks & chatted to him, talking about the bible & the Catholic ethos we would raise our children in. We had dd 3 years later & he was so excited when I called & asked him to baptise her (We had moved to dh's homeplace to live so we never saw him much)

Original poster
CADS · 17/08/2007 14:13

I'm sure the priest is going to be impressed. I haven't been to Church in five years. DH and I didn't marry within the Catholic Church. DS is now 3.5 and DD 20mnths old. And DH has never been baptised.

Doesn't look good, does it? We have our reasons but considering that I should been attending Mass every Sunday, it is not a good start.

OP posts:
meandmyflyingmachine · 17/08/2007 14:15

Well, if you intend to start going to church anyway, why not start now?

You don't have to wait for them to be baptised first.

Just go along to Mass.

ChippyMinton · 17/08/2007 14:18

You may be worrying too much. Our DC were baptised together, aged 3,2 & 1. We had a registry office wedding and the priest offered to bless our marriage at the baptism, which made me cry!

Pixiefish · 17/08/2007 14:20

CADs- my godchild's parents had their children out of wedlock. The children's father had married ina protestant church and left his first wife for the children's mother. The priest was fine about it adn baptised the children but did drop great big hints about them getting married. They were married AFTER the kids were Christened

meandmyflyingmachine · 17/08/2007 14:22

I was baptised quite happily 36 years ago with no father in attendance at all. It'll be fine.

yeahinaminute · 17/08/2007 14:22

Don't worry CADS - the fact your Dh isn't Christened is not a problem - most parish priests are flexible and approachable and to be fair happy to get another couple of Rock Cakes on the register

Our Parish priest is lovely had no problem with DH being CofScotland they became firm friends and DH converted.

Thinking about it though you do need one RC godparent though.

And do attend family mass - it's really quite lovely - at ours we troop in, have the beginning of mass then at after Penitential Right the children go off to an informal Sunday School - we continue with mass and they return just before the Eucharistic Prayers to show us drawings etc ... then it's Communion and Blessing of the children.

Talk to your priest he'll set your mind at rest.

Original poster
CADS · 17/08/2007 14:32

Thanks everyone. Its the having to wait.

We are going to Family Mass on Sunday which will be interesting with the two DCs and trying to get them to be still and quite. I told DH I am going to Mass on Sunday and he said he would come too, I nearly fell off my chair.

We went to a friend's ds's christening on Sunday and something must have happen to DH because in the past he has always said that he is happy with supporting me raise the DCs Catholic as long as he didn't have to get involved.

OP posts: