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Original poster

Christianity- this might be the end of the road.

72 replies

Timeandtimeagain42 · 06/08/2019 09:52

I'm at New Wine in Peterborough. Just had one more in a long line of tiny incidents where so called Christians are unpleasant, officious and generally won't lift a finger to actually offer any practical help.
Fair enough, I'm quite independent but now the whole festival is turning my stomach. Chock full of people singing pretty words and praying to be "filled with the Holy Spirit" but there's no substance behind any of it, nobody is prepared to actually do anything except sing and pray. I've been a Christian for 30 years but I think,
I think I may have reached the end if my journey. Tell me I'm wrong somebody?

OP posts:
itsabongthing · 07/08/2019 09:12

And that they’ve sorted out some of the drainage and plumbing issues!

And sorry that you’ve encountered some dicks but sadly there are those everywhere. I know what you mean that you then wonder if those same dicks are totally immersed in the worship.
But then I guess God does seem to specialise in broken people!

PurBal · 07/08/2019 09:16

So I think I posted half a post and it didn't make any sense. Highlights:
Jesus good
Christians can be a bit shit
Don't give up over one weird experience

PurBal · 07/08/2019 09:27

Sorry for this mini thread jack OP.

@madhairday, NW is part of the Evangelical Alliance which means they subscribe to particular theology that would, by definition, exclude swathes of Christians (and people in general). It's not wrong, the theology is sound. But theology in itself is nuanced and there are other, different theological interpretations that are also sound.

Original poster
Timeandtimeagain42 · 07/08/2019 09:31

@ZenNudist thank you so much... will look that up.

@Madhairday I'm glad you had that experience. I'm sure there are many lovely people here, my own church folk are lovely. My difficulties have mainly been with the children's work (and I readily acknowledge that they have a tough job so probably unfair) and random individual parents. So sadly I've had to take ds out and we're doing our own thing now. I think the problems themselves aren't that bad but then going from a place that had literally refused to lift a finger when I was crying and asking for something simple for them to give, to a meeting that proclaimed the "amazing things God's doing" it was the contrast that got to me.... does that make any sense?

@Babdoc Your church sounds fab!!

@itsabongthing Thank you, will check her out. I think it's nice to know that there are other people who feel disengaged from the super spiritual part of things. I think you can feel like a bit of a failure if you don't respond in a certain way. I also think though that there are those who genuinely respond to this (good for them) those that don't and sit quietly or do their own thing but then also a third group that think they should be responding a certain way and so they kind of force a response that doesn't come naturally. I've been in that third group for many, many years but these days I tend to just potter, pray, go for coffee and cake and seek out the practically based talks Smile

OP posts:
Madhairday · 07/08/2019 09:43

@Paddington68 I'm truly sorry it came across like that. I was trying to gently challenge some of the stuff up thread rather than make it about excluding the OP, I completely acknowledge she's met some unhelpful people and that's rubbish for her and rubbish of them. I was trying to bring my experience of it to help encourage her that there are many compassionate and helpful people part of it and to wish her to have good moments in the week.

@itsabongthing - I do get you on the healing words etc, I find myself thinking similar! But having experienced it for myself and others I try to be open as well and know that it does sometimes happen (sometimes in the most incredible way) and that often it doesn't. I know PH a little and find him to be one of the most authentic people I've ever met, he is very real about his experiences and never ever pushy about healing etc, he and his wife have been instrumental in making the Send provision really top notch there, they have two autistic children, one profoundly so and they do share about the depths as well as the heights which I've always found so helpful as a person with a disability myself. I'm so sorry you felt disengaged. Agree about Miriam Swaffield, she was incredible!

OP - hope you're okay this morning and have a better day Flowers

RebeccaCloud9 · 07/08/2019 09:46

Blimey, the whole shaking in the aisle thing is so 'Emperor's New Clothes'! No one wants to be the one to admit it so they all pretend, and outdo each other with how much they're pretending!

Madhairday · 07/08/2019 09:52

Cross posted @timeandtimeagain42 - yes, that does make sense and it sounds like it was a difficult transition from someone being profoundly unhelpful to stories from the stage which can sometimes seem too much in terms of what life gets like - I do totally get that. I'm sad anyone feels they have to force themselves into something to conform or have experiences, that must have been so discouraging for you. I guess what I'd say is that God in no way sees anyone as a failure if they feel unable to engage in that kind of thing. He knows who you are and what you need, and loves you, and doesn't expect you to become someone you are not. I love the worship element and it engages who I am in a really profound way but my dh for eg prefers the more practical stuff and good teaching - love that we're not all the same. So sorry you had a difficult experience with the groups, I do know they work so hard as my dd has been on Pebbles team for years, but also know you get grumpy people everywhere! May today be better and give you moments of joy and peace in the midst of it all Flowers

Madhairday · 07/08/2019 09:54

And pottering, praying, coffee and good practical talks sounds brilliant. Enjoy your day!

Woollycardi · 07/08/2019 12:26

@Timeandtimeagain42, I would say that this 'From the age of 14 I've wondered why God seems to love them more than me' is probably something you should reflect on completely independently of anything else that is going on in the festival you are currently attending. Perhaps explore why you believe this and where it has come from. Good luck and hope you can enjoy the time amongst these people and maybe leave the stuff that you feel uncomfortable with. Because that is completely ok too.

getupgonow · 07/08/2019 12:50

Sounds like you'd be better off at green belt OP

BroomstickOfLove · 07/08/2019 12:54

I was just about to suggest Green Belt, too.

Madhairday · 07/08/2019 13:23

Yes, Greenbelt is amazing.
Hope your day is going ok OP.

hanahsaunt · 07/08/2019 13:40

Miriam is fab!

I remember seeing one of those slightly trite sayings about how you wouldn't expect hospitals to be full of well people, so why do you expect churches to be full of perfect people ...

I have known brilliant people through church and some truly evil people through church. But church is not God and my faith is in Him rather than people or institutions (thankfully!).

I attend a NW church by circumstance rather than design. There are parts to which I relate and parts which I can take or leave (and parts which I just ignore - usually the wishy washy healings bit).

I'm sorry that you have met some rubbish people and that NW doesn't seem to be your thing - hopefully you will find your people there somewhere - it is a broad church (even NW!).

growlingbear · 07/08/2019 13:44

They're probably from my church. They love new wine and are the most two-faced, sanctimonious, self-serving people I've ever met. I left our church years ago because I'd have lost all faith if I stayed. Sorry you are having such a tough time. Look for the older generation Christian women. They may be more predisposed to genuine Christian values of kindness and charity.

Original poster
Timeandtimeagain42 · 07/08/2019 16:17

I've been to Greenbelt a few years ago, you're right I may give it a go next year.

OP posts:
AcrossthePond55 · 07/08/2019 16:47

It's not Christianity that's the problem, it's organized religion. I haven't found one yet that hasn't gotten screwed up at some point, usually because of money or because of 'clique-ism'.

Matthew 18:20; For where two or three gather in my name, there am I with them.”

Find yourself some like minded people and just fellowship with them. Nothing formal or organized. No 'worship leaders', no organized meetings or lessons or the like. We just visit and talk about life, Faith and Love whenever we feel like it, or one of us has the need. Works for me and my friends.

WhatisFreddoingnow · 07/08/2019 21:07

Why are you allowing the behaviour of other people come between your relationship with God?

Yes, some Christians aren't great at times but it has no impact on my relationship with God. We are all sinners and 'churches are field hospitals for the sick not museums for the Saints'.

Original poster
Timeandtimeagain42 · 07/08/2019 22:59

Why are you allowing the behaviour of other people come between your relationship with God?

Why? Well I suppose because I'm struggling with my faith generally and I had booked myself into New Wine as a way of pushing myself out of my comfort zone hoping to have new life breathed into my faith. Instead I've found it frustratingly empty.

One of the most beautiful things I ever saw was a young gay Muslim man doing the call to prayer at a multi religion pride service. He explained that he would hold on to his faith even though he had been rejected by everybody in it. So I get where you're coming from, totally.

I just needed something this week.... some sort of touch but instead I just encountered unkindness and small mindedness.

OP posts:
Madhairday · 08/08/2019 08:31

Hope today is better, OP Flowers

Have you caught Lucy Peppiatt in the arena? I've been listening all week and she's been outstanding. Love the way she's been talking about subjects like patriarchy, singleness, racism and sexism and really challenging the church about attitudes perpetuated over history, bringing to life the 1st century church in Corinth and all the stuff they were going through.

So sorry you're finding it empty, I pray you'll find what you need whether there or back home. I hope you've come across some nicer people.

Original poster
Timeandtimeagain42 · 08/08/2019 08:43

She sounds fab, sadly not caught any of that I wonder if there are any podcasts available.

Much better day yesterday thank you.

OP posts:
Madhairday · 08/08/2019 09:20

She's still on today and tomorrow, and yes I think they do release them as podcasts after, she's very good.

Madhairday · 08/08/2019 19:11

Saw they're packing down early due to severe weather warnings. Hope you get packed up safely and have a safe journey home @Timeandtimeagain42

Original poster
Timeandtimeagain42 · 08/08/2019 20:30

Thanks! Yes sad news for everybody but I suppose it's better than risking some sort of accident.

OP posts:
kayakingmum · 08/08/2019 20:41

It's a shame you had a rubbish time at the festival and met some not very nice people but I wouldn't discard your faith because of it.
I'm a Christian and tend to go to church once a week mainly because I feel better inside for going and the sermon can give me some helpful thoughts. If the church I go to suddenly changed I would find a different service to go to.

ZenNudist · 08/08/2019 22:34

Timeandtimeagain42 what is it you are struggling with about your faith?

I like the Father Mike Schmitz youtube video about finding god in darkness which I found really inspiring.