Do you go to confession? Is it frowned upon by your priest if you don't?

[JoyceDivision]

If you regularly attend Mass, do you often go to confession, or do you not?

Do you know if your priest is understanding of people who don't go often / ever or if it's frowned upon by them?

I attend Mass but haven't been to confession for years. Our priest has reminded people it is there, and a good way to freshen up the mind and soul over the summer break,a positive invitation to it.

I always feel silly, as though going through the motions when I have been before, so.thinking about going but not sure my motive would be for it being my benefit or just so the priest has had some reply to him!

I go once a year in Lourdes. I was brought up Anglican and converted to Catholicism 15 years ago. So it's not something I was brought up with. I don't like going at all. My closest friend is a bishop. He knew I'd not been for 7 years at one point. He never even mentioned it. Priests don't know if you've been or not. It's never asked.

I only go As I found a priest who is very very good. Otherwise I probably wouldn't bother.

I go every couple of months.
When my mum died and we were arranging her funeral the priest asked my brother and I if we had been to confession we both said no, he told us that if we didn't go to confession we couldn't have communion at mum's funeral.

Parkhead, that's really unfair: you could have chosen to lie, yet putting that demand to attend confession rather than offer it to you is terrible.

Thanks for replies everyone. Priest transferred here a while ago, very positive, kind etc, he suggests lots of things and some get taken up, many don't.

I 'm aware prev priest was treated poorly because his predecessor was so pleasant yet didn't deal with any issues so almost a pushover, so when next priest arrived and dealt with lots of problems he was hated for it and many parishioners made their feelings clear.

So, I'm torn between attending confession (makes me self conscious although that's my problem!) as practising Catholic with lots of thoughts and queries about my faith, which I think current priest would happily listen to, and going more to please current priest so that his suggestions are being listened to and not being treated as per previous priest...

I go every two months or so but not at my parish so as far as my PP knows he must think I haven’t been in 15 years 😂😂😂. It still doesn’t stop him from allowing me to be involved in the liturgy every week or even to administer communion. I prefer anonymity at confession (it would be easy to tell who I am from my speaking voice) and I also feel I have a better connection to other clergy who approach confession differently.

I think confession is a very important part of being Catholic. I often don’t feel in a state of grace to receive communion and so attending confession ideally monthly helps me be in the right state to receive the body of Christ.

JoyceDivision I eventually went to confession. I have 5 siblings and none of them went to confession. I was the only one that took communion at mum's funeral.
I felt bad that 6 of us sitting in the front row and none of us took it.

Thanks. Eleanor, my parish priest would a) recognise my voice a mile off and n) welcomes the rather informal cup.of tea and a chat style! Going to another parish was suggested by him to congregation, but I think it's the treatment of the previous priest that makes me feel he should see support / engagement from his parishioners. I agree it is an important part of my faith and I'm trying to stop being so 'teenage awkward' about it and bring it into my own faith. I guess also at the back of my mind while DH fully supports me and DC attending Mass (and they are involved in Mass) he has made odd comment along lines of "You're not going all proper Churchy on.me are you?" so I feel a bit self conscious about looking or being "too Churchy"

Parkhead, I'm sorry for the loss of your mum

I have only recently "reverted" to Catholicism after 25 years of agnosticism. So I do go to confession. Have been 4 times now since March. I always have something to confess because I swear a lot and take the Lords name in vain constantly! Still I've only been if Ive missed mass or have something worse to confess!

I dont think priests require people to go. Strictly you should go once a year in lent. But I reckon most Catholics I know never ever go. My priest is really forgiving and I use the time to talked to him about a bunch of faith issues I have. I dont 'like' going but think its important.

Id say it sounds like a chat with your priest could be worth having. Hes new, he wants to know his parishioners better. You'd feel better for going even if you feel worse beforehand.

I always waive anonymity as I feel it helps me face up to my sins. It gives me more accountability. Even if I then go wrong again.

Parkhead that's terrible. Its priests like that who push people away from the faith. It might have been better to let 5 people take communion and feel closer to God than make them feel like outsiders at their own mum's funeral. Good for you going. Don't let him put you off.

Also Joyce I just reread your comment about your DH and I think you have to ignore him. Is he religious? Catholic?

My DH is not very supportive and has made similar comments. I've decided that my relationship with God is most important and DH (& anyone else) cant make me feel bad about it.

I've always gone. Twice a year, lent and then usually advent.
It was never something I felt I used properly, or really got my head around.

In recent years I've discovered a few habitual sins that I really need to stop so I've been going more regularly, every couple of months. And making more of an effort to examine my conscience properly and take my spiritual life seriously. Regular confession is really helping. I notice the difference when I've not been for a while.

As for your priest frowning on those who don't go...
He won't know unless you tell him! I go to various priests in the local parishes, according to when confession times are and where I am. If I am at an event and confession is offered I try to take the chance. It isn't because I don't want to go to my parish priest, it's just logistics.

But...don't take communion if you think you are not in a state of grace.

Me and my brother had to go to confession as kids, every Saturday morning. This routine got pretty boring fairly quickly as we didn’t really have many ‘sins’ to confess, so we decided to liven things up a bit.

The doddery old priest didn’t have much imagination when it came to devising penance, it was always saying ten our fathers or ten Hail Marys, so we turned it into a competition to see who could say them fastest ; (deep breath) ourfatherwhoartinheavenhalowedbethyname.... and so on.

We soon got bored of that too, so the next competition was to invent the most outrageous ‘sins’ we could think of to ‘confess’ to. My brother was far better at this than me. He ‘confessed’ to shoplifting, drug-taking, stealing cars, setting fire to the neighbour’s cat etc etc.

Happy memories .

One of my favourite quotes is from Bishop Fulton Sheen, who said hearing nun's confessions was like being stoned to death with popcorn. Made me laugh, anyway.

There's a good video on YouTube by Father Mike Schmitz about confession. Rather lyrical and comforting. I'll try and find it to add to the thread latef if you can't find it (having a break from packing for holiday now). He gives an honest perspective on confession from a priest. It's possibly not what you might expect.

I find I go every couple of months. It's a source of strength to me. I don't always go to my own church, though. Generally speaking,I think a priest would only refuse communion to someone in very rare circumstances. At the end of the day, you're the one coming before the living God with something on your conscience, so it's really up you how you approach God with that. You can make use of the help He gives, or you can not bother if you really aren't fussed. Freedom is a beautiful part of our lives.

Love being stoned to death with popcorn

I'll have a look for the video, thanks. I never enjoyed confession and rather than fall into the same trap as from childhood of going through the motions I feel as though I want to get straight in my head if I really want to go again to see if it helps me.

Here you go, found it this morning.

Thanks Floral, when I have a quiet 5 mins I'll watch that

Love Fr Mike. His acension presents videos on YouTube are so helpful. I am now working my way through his homily podcasts. He always gives food for thought.

We have confession in every service.

I’m Anglican but of the Anglo-Catholic tradition and go to confession about 4 times a year. It’s a really important discipline for me and I get a great deal out of it.

I have been frowned upon for going as most people in the CofE don’t go to confession and so don’t really understand the sacrament.

Lots of food for thought, thank you for your replies.

Parkhead that's terrible. Its priests like that who push people away from the faith. It might have been better to let 5 people take communion and feel closer to God than make them feel like outsiders at their own mum's funeral. Good for you going. Don't let him put you off.

Whilst unconventional for a priest to ask, he is absolutely spot on regarding Church teachings. If you have committed a mortal sin (and most of us do on a regular basis), according to Church teachings and scripture, you shouldn't receive Communion until you have been to reconciliation. It's part of the reason why Catholics do not allow non-catholics to receive Communion. This should be followed regardless of the occasion. The priest was looking after your soul - not trying to alienate you. Just be thankful it is no longer public confession! The Eurachrist is only required to be consumed by Catholics once a year (Easter).

I go to reconciliation fairly regularly. Always anonymous. I have a very caring priest who is very loving but also very firm and won't let you excuse your own sin. Its very freeing and helps me on my journey.

Oh and the seal of reconciliation is absolute. A priest cannot even disclose that you went to confession, let alone what you said. It is taken extremely seriously and a priest is automatically excommunicated. Priests have died protecting the seal of reconciliation. I heard of a story where a priest asked someone to tell that they were pregnant outside of the face-to-face confession so he would be able to congratulate them again.

Nice to see further comments. I approached parish priest, said he'd catch up after my holiday to sort confession, he laughed it might be more exciting then! Just said we could sit in garden with a cup.of tea and offer the conversation to God.

Anxious in a way as the thought of talking about myself makes me feel awkward, but if went to another parish for anonymous confession I think I'd just be going through the motions.

That sounds a lovely way to do it!

Well I can understand you being nervous although the setting does sound like a nice way to do it and your priests sounds very lovely.

Why don't you choose to put out of your mind until after your holiday and then set a diary reminder to do a examination of conscience when you get back?

When I was returning to confession after a long period away I found it was easier to write a list of sins starting with ones I was more comfortable confessing to and then as I got into the conversation opening up more about well I would think I was the really bad stuff.

I still think face-to-face confession is a better way of doing it. Anonymity just seems not very accountable.