How far in advance do you have to book church wedding?

[MafaldaGregorovitch]

Hello, I was just wondering how far in advance you have to book them? We'd love to get married this summer and the church aspect means a lot to me. We're not currently part of a congregation. Well technically we've just started attending somewhere but not comfortable asking to marry there and 6 months attendance puts us in October. Due to being a healthcare student with lots of placements, of which I don't know my dates for each year until September, August each year is realistically our only safe time (ie time I can guarantee I'll actually be here!). We don't want to wait until 2020 so ideally we'd like to get married in one of the churches we already have a connection too as there are several we meet the criteria of re living in parish / worshipping for more than 6 months / been confirmed there etc

Do you think it would be possible to have a religious ceremony this August? Realistically how much notice would your vicar need as I know you need to do the marriage course etc.

That was supposed to say "not comfortable asking to marry there" yet

It’s definitely worth asking - most churches aren’t going to have weddings planned every weekend this year so if you have a few to choose from you should find one! We booked in November for September this year but could have chosen any date basically.

Not all churches insist on a marriage course if you are a 'known' congregant (including former congregant), so I think you just need to go and enquire.

Unless a very busy and pretty church (and only one for mles around) ther're really quite unlikely to be booked solid.

Thanks both. The only churches are ones where we've been known separately. I mean my church met DP and DP's church met me but we've not worshipped there together. We've moved house a fair few times since moving in together a few years ago but never settled in any of our local parish churches so we're not really "known" as such but officially do have that connection if that makes sense?

Anyway yes I guess you're right that it's worth asking. The worst they'll say is no.

If you are marrying in a church where you have a qualifying connection you are marrying by banns and these need to be read out on three Sundays in the three months before you marry. Churches often do them on the first three Sundays of the month before you marry. You have time but I would crack on and get booked in if you want to get married this year as clergy go on holiday and have other events in church and you might not be able to,get the dates you want.

Assuming an existing qualifying connection so you can legally get married there...
I would be able to marry you in either of my churches in August as I have no weddings booked. I do have a couple of weeks off.so would need to avoid those dates.
However my colleagues with more picturesque churches could easily be fully booked in August already.

Oh one other thing you might do better waiting a couple of days until after easter to ask as clergy will currently be running around between multiple holy week and easter services.

Thanks @Tiggles and @mostlydrinkstea

I think we've decided to wait until we qualify in the church we've recently started attending, which would most likely make it next year then. Would you say it's reasonable to bring up the possibility of marrying there with the vicar around the end of May, so we'd have been attending for about 8 weeks then?

If it’s c of e they have to allow you to marry there if you are ‘of the parish’ or have a connection with the church if you aren’t local.

The main thing is getting a slot - it can get very busy around certain times.

www.yourchurchwedding.org/article/legal-requirements/

I used to work for the church and we’d often have services for people we didn’t really know or the children of people we did.

Thanks @LordProfFekkoThePenguinPhD the one we'd ideally like to get married in after thinking about it is one we've been to a few times. If we spoke to them in May we'd have been going for 2 months so still 4 months off the qualifying connection. Would most churches be open to this sort of discussion at this point?

Is it a CofE church? If you qualify (eg live in the parish) just go and ask. In fact, just go and ask anyway. They'll soon tell you what the requirements are, then you'll know what you need to do

Yes - they have to marry you really. We used to have all sorts rocking up asking to have a service on the church (it was a listed building that was in a few films). You don’t need to attend.

We don't live in the parish. It's a local one but we don't live in the parish.

Technically 3 weeks (for the banns to be read) but you will need to either marrying in your parish church (a church near you will tell you which this is) or have a connection to the church you wish to marry in, we insist on 3 attendances over the year before the wedding, but this is often the 3 banns readings!

Popular churches may not have slots, but if you want a Friday or a less picturesque church then this summer is quite feasible, I would certainly be willing to arrange at my work for people in your circumstances. I organised my own with only 10 weeks notice!

@stucknoue our connection would have to be that we'd worshipped there for 6 months. Would you expect a person to have been attending for 6 months before having the discussion or just that they'd have to have attended for 6 months before the actual wedding date?

If you are going for regular attendance then it is at least once a month for 6 months so you are too late for an August wedding . If you can prove that you have lived in the parish of the church where you want to get married for 6 months then that is a qualifying connection and you can be married by banns and August is possible.

This is the C of E website that explains it www.yourchurchwedding.org/article/finding-a-church/

Unless it is a big church with an administrator leave approaching the vicar until May as most of us are off next week.

It is regular attendance for six months before the date of your wedding. Just talk to the vicar. We get baptism, wedding and funeral requests from people we don't know all of the time.

Happy Easter!

Thank you so much @mostlydrinkstea Happy Easter do you too

We think we'd rather wait until next year as we'd feel more comfortable marrying in a church that we are both currently attending but are keen to approach the vicar relatively soon so we can start sorting everything else out. We were thinking of approaching him towards the end of May. DP is worried about coming across as we're only attending to get married there which is not the case at all so he'd feel more comfortable leaving it until the end of May - plus you've all been super busy with Easter and deserve a break

If you live in the parish (or have a qualifying connection) you only NEED 3 weeks, although more would be best for sorting diaries etc. Attending for 6 months is usually only required to create aforementioned qualifying connection.

So you could get married in your parish church thia August.

There is an option of a special license (not Banns) but this is entirely up to the priest and I'd not ask directly about it. It costs more than Banns. Our priest suggested this to a couple wanting to get married this August.

It’s definitely worth talking to the vicar sooner rather than later. I work in a church office and for most of the weddings I have handled, the initial enquiry has been over the phone and the couple have been only to hear one Sunday’s worth of banns. So don’t feel you need to have attended for a minimum time even to ask.

It's 3 visits in the 6 months prior to the wedding in our diocese. Many have never visited prior to their initial wedding appointment with me

Thank you all just to clarify we will not be marrying in our parish church. The church we currently attend is just outside our parish but we haven't been attending long. We'll get in touch with the vicar next month (to give him chance to recover from Easter) and go from there