Becca I’m not religious at all but this notion of not being able to let go of stuff in your head, even when it is having a detrimental effect on you, resonates with me. I’m the queen of mulling things over ad infinitum and ad nauseum!
As you know, in the bible, Jesus says:
Look at the birds of the air, for they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns; yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they? Which of you by worrying can add one cubit to his stature?
It definitely sounds like he is advising people to go with the flow and trust a bit more.
This idea is picked up on by Eckhart Tolle in his book The Power of Now mentioned earlier by Vitalogy.
Still recognising the freedom that living in the moment brings is not the same as actually being able to do it. And chastising yourself inwardly for raking over the past or agonising over the future does little to subdue the compulsion.
So instead of this, try to get the thoughts/prayers ‘out there’, as opposed to circling around your brain like a trapped goldfish in a murky bowl. Say what you want to say out loud even if it’s in a mutter. Try to go somewhere outside the home and ‘deposit’ the prayers/thoughts by saying them when you get to your destination - which could be church or some other sacred space where you feel close to God.
If you like to write, writing your thoughts down can help to get them ‘out there ‘ too, and in a clarified form, as RangeRider suggests. I know that some people find journalling over a protracted period useful as well. It’s good for the morale to see that you’re not really stuck, that thoughts evolve and life circumstances change.
A more general conception of what constitutes talking to God might help too. Seeking out loving, empathetic people to open up to makes sense. As you are a Christian, you might think of this as talking to God through another person. The feedback you get can do much to quell the small voice inside which needs to feel it’s been heard and understood before it’s prepared to contemplate moving on.
All of these things can help prevent repetitive thoughts from driving you crazy.
By the way, do you like the Beatles song, ‘Let it Be’? I think the lyrics are a good fit for you and you could listen to the song when you start to feel overwhelmed by your own thoughts. (It’s not actually a religious song but certainly could easily be interpreted as such if you found it helpful to do so.)
I particularly like the version by Matt Hylom: