Medium - considering going to see one

[Howdidweenduphere]

Hi. Lost my mum about 18 months ago which I'm massively struggling with. I'm religious, Christian, and always have believed in the afterlife. However now I've lost someone so important to me I'm starting to question it I.e. is there a heaven and will I see her again. So..been thinking about going to see a medium in the hope that I can get some reassurance. Has anyone else done similar..and did it help? Assume this is best place to post..thank you

Hi, I am so sorry for your loss.

Hopefully someone will be along soon to give you advice.
I am not a christian so not really qualified to help. X

Howdidwe I am so, so sorry to hear about your loss. My mother died when I was 13 of cancer, I am 50 now and I still think of her and at times feel her presence, so I know the devastation of what it means to lose your mum. It completely changed my life. I also can understand the longing for her and the confusion and doubts that arise as a result of grief. My dad died of a heart attack when I was 19, so I was orphaned as a young adult. I definitely think we can be vulnerable spiritually at this time and it can send us on a search for meaning. As a result of the loss of my mum I found I was able to recognize God’s love when I had a powerful spiritual experience at the age of 17. I went from complete atheism to a belief in God which has never left me. But it was a result of direct experiences of God’s love.

The desire to reconnect with your mum is completely understandable, especially the longing to know she is alive in heaven. However, as a Christian I want to warn you very strongly against going to see a medium. It has always been forbidden from the times of ancient Judaism and continues until the present day

“There shall not be found among you anyone who makes his son or his daughter pass through the Fire, one who uses divination, one who practices witchcraft, or one who interprets omens, or a sorcerer, or one who casts a spell, or a medium, or a spiritist or one who calls up the dead . For whoever does these things is detestable to the Lord; and because of these detestable things the Lord your God will drive them out before you” Deuteronomy 18: 10-12

I am Catholic and we definitely believe in what Jesus told us and that the afterlife is real and that there are supernatural spirits that are good and evil. The church explains it’s teaching to us in the Catechism:

“All forms of divination are to be rejected: recourse to Satan or demons, conjuring up the dead or other practices falsely supposed to “unveil” the future. Consulting horoscopes, astrology, palm reading, interpretation of omens and lots, the phenomena of clairvoyance, and the recourse to mediums all conceal a desire for power over time, history, and, in the last analysis, other human beings, as well as a wish to conciliate hidden powers. They contradict the honor, respect, and loving fear that we owe to God alone.”
Catechism of the Catholic Church paragraph 2116.

The longing for the intimacy and love you had with your mum seems to be at the heart of your current experience, do you have any friends at church, a priest or a pastor who could be with you right now and reassure you, not only of God’s love but that your mum is in heaven? As Catholics we believe that death is like a door to eternal life and therefore your mum is alive in heaven in a new, supernatural way. We see the people in heaven as still part of the church, we call them “The Church Triumphant” while we are “The Church Militant” still on the front lines here on earth. We therefore ask for the prayers of those in heaven and that is something you can do safely. You can ask your mum to pray for you and ask others to pray for your mum.

As a Catholic this is something you CAN do and I don’t believe you need to be Catholic to request it. What you can do is you can ask a priest that a Mass be said for your mum. Catholic’s believe that the Mass is the most powerful prayer on earth as Jesus is physically present during it. A Mass can be prayed with a particular “intention” or, request. In this case you can request for the repose of your mom’s soul in heaven. This experience might give you some peace and reassurance. You can call any local parish, or even somewhere further away such as a Catholic Cathedral. If you approach a local parish though you can go and talk to the priest about how you are feeling and why you want the Mass said and they may be able to give you further help and reassurance.

Do you mind me asking how old you are and if you have any other close family members? Also did your mum have a funeral and a church service or other prayers said for her at the time she died?

I am thinking of you, a friend of mine is visiting me today to bring me Holy Communion and we will pray for you and your mum especially during our prayer time together xx

Please don't go to a medium. All mediums 'cold read' no matter how much they claim they don't. You'll just lose money, time and be fed lies.

Please be wary of mediums. They don't always have your best interests at heart. I would try both secular and spiritual approaches to coping with grief e.g. talk to your go, try Cruse bereavement care for counselling. For the spiritual aspects try and find a wise and nature Christian who you trust. This might be someone in church leadership but there are also trained Christian counsellors. But whatever you do Please look for help from those who are trains and who operate within an accountability structure. Venturing into the esoteric and occult is unlikely to help and may make things worse. I wish you well x

Sorry that should be GP not go!

I have seen a couple of mediums and they have been spot on. It is reassuring from a point of view that you feel that they are still watching over you.

One knew things about people at a group session, that there is no way she could have found out before hand.

I have attended a show of a famous medium. I was one of the people picked out. She knew stuff about my family and my life that there is no way she could have researched before hand. She didn't even know I would be at the show as the tickets were purchased by another person. She could name historic family members, pets, holidays, and various other things.

It is incredible to see it in action. You do need to find one with a good reputation though.

Pudlet’s advice is spot-on, especially regarding accountability. It is easy to be taken advantage of at such a vulnerable time, something “Mediums” count on.

Hi all thank you so much for the responses, especially yours ida. It's given me lots to consider. My mum was Catholic and I know she missed her parents and sibling terribly..so it does give me comfort that they MAY be together again. It's a confusing time. I'm in my late 30s with three young kids. Beyond devastated she was robbed of opportunity to see them grow up. So very sad.

Howdidwe if your mum was a devout Catholic, not only would she look forward to seeing her relatives in heaven she would be horrified at the idea of you consulting a medium. Those in heaven that are now outside time and space and constantly before the beatific vision of God’s love can now be everywhere. I am sure your mum is praying for you. Are you friends with any of her good friends from church? Maybe talking to them about your joint memories of her and what she thought and believed about spirituality and her faith would help you at this time.

It is hard, as I said, I still miss my mum at 50 and your loss is so very recent. But now I also get great joy and comfort from the fact that her great mothering was such a role model for me when raising my three kids, I enjoy seeing her in them. As a convert from atheism I was actually very surprised when I learned that Catholic theology taught I could expect to see my mum again! So now that gives me comfort, I do believe one day, in God’s time I will be with her. Right now she wants me to enjoy my life and love my children to the best of my ability (with the grace of God) xx

Here’s a story. In the early years of our marriage my husband and I had some very dear friends who were nuns. Since a big church council in 1965 called Vatican II orders of nuns and monks could decide to wear modern clothes if they thought it appropriate to their work and also keep the names they were given in religious life or change them back to those given to them by their parents.

One nun was always called SAM which stood for Sister Anne Marie and she was hilarious and very witty. She was elderly and suddenly was near to death due to skin cancer. The other two nuns decided to smuggle me and my husband into the sick bay of the convent to say our goodbyes (she wasn’t supposed to be receiving visitors because of her serious condition, but she wanted to see us). I was heavily pregnant with our second child. We kissed SAM goodbye and talked to her for a while, she said something saucy to my husband which made him blush and us all laugh our heads off.

As we were leaving I heard another of the nuns, Sister Elizabeth, ask SAM if she would send her a sign when she got to heaven.

Anyway, months later I said “Sister Liz, did you ever get a sign from SAM?” She said she did. It was our second daughter. I was confused as I had already been pregnant when we saw her. How was she a sign?
She told me, you called her “Anastasia” and SAM’s name in religious life was Sister Anastasia before she changed it back to Anne-Marie.”