Pretending to pray

[Offendingeveryoneagain]

I am an atheist. I often find myself in situations where people around me are praying. My DS recently admitted that he had not prayed during a school assembly I attended. My mother was absolutely appalled and told him he MUST pray. I have been in the habit recently of bowing my head but not closing my eyes. I don't wish to be disrespectful but we are being targeted by church members at every turn. On the most recent occasion it was quite obvious that I was not joining in the prayers and I was afterwards taken to task by someone who was obviously not deep in prayer at the time either. I am bowing my head but not closing my eyes, not reciting prayers and not saying Amen. I am also not praying in my head.

How do I deal with this without causing further offence and without inviting church members to target me?

Weird. I'm an atheist and in eg church weddings I just sit and listen. No head bowing, hands together or eyes closed. Half the congregation are doing the same thing. Never considered it disrespectful. Never been callled out on it. There's no 'right way to pray'. Good grief, is this the dawn of Christian oneupmanship? I pray better than you?! If they are doing it right they wouldn't bloody notice anyway!

They are supposed to be inwardly contemplating and appealing to god not checking the room to see if Sylvia has one eye open or Doug doesn't have his hands clamped together with sufficient pressure

Weird. I'm an atheist and in eg church weddings I just sit and listen. No head bowing, hands together or eyes closed. Half the congregation are doing the same thing. Never considered it disrespectful. Never been callled out on it. There's no 'right way to pray'. Good grief, is this the dawn of Christian oneupmanship? I pray better than you?! If they are doing it right they wouldn't bloody notice anyway!

They are supposed to be inwardly contemplating and appealing to god not checking the room to see if Sylvia has one eye open or Doug doesn't have his hands clamped together with sufficient pressure

Which religion is this? I'm CoE and go to church/bible study and Christian camps/holidays and there is never any obligation to pray. You'll be invited to pray but never pressured or taken to task because you don't and if you choose to pray or you want to but can't because of whatever (you'd be surprised at how many people even practicing christians struggle with prayer) your more than welcome to talk to someone on the prayer team before during or after and have them pray for and with you or arrange to meet and help you with this.

At my church we're just happy that people are there and open to hearing the word of god. If you want to know more and come back great, if you don't also great but your welcome back at anytime, even if you just want to come back and argue about how we're all idiots for believing, you'd still be offered refreshments and treated as an old friend.

This is at a modern Anglican church in my uni town. In my home town I'd be at a high church where everyone is very friendly but there is an awful lot of latin and classic traditional hymns and we sing psalms and pray kneeling with hands clasped in front heads bowed and in total silence as the vicar speaks. Different churches different styles, neither would call you out on not joining in prayer. Your as welcome in the house of god as any religion or atheist as any practicing christian. In god's eyes we're all equal and all welcome regardless of how we engage with the service.

Where is OP?

Oh how frustrating I was getting through the thread waiting to find out where in the world has mandatory public prayer at local history events and sports matches!

I just sit still and quiet, it’s not my belief so I don’t pretend anything (no eyes closed or head bowed any more than it would be just looking st the floor ahead anyway) and don’t disrupt anything. If anyone tried to take me to task for that I’d happily have a discussion about respecting other people’s beliefs

I'm here. I don't want to give my precise location which is why I have not come back to the thread. It is not a church school. I don't think we have church schools here. Don't know what else to say. Was just hoping to get some advice on how not to offend anyone else. Maybe I should just continue to cause offence.

Glad I have given you all a good laugh

Prayer is a very private matter Offend, you either do or you don't, your actions can hardly offend anyone in what you choose to do, and no I did not have a good laugh.

It’s just rather puzzling Offending because it seems so far from what most people have experienced. If you’re talking about a specific religious community or you live in Saudi Arabia or something, you’re going to get quite different advice...

“Maybe I should just continue to cause offence.”

I would. You’re not causing offence unless you are singing “Every Sperm is Sacred” during the Elevation of the Host- they are taking offence. Which is their problem. And if they are openly rude to you, just walk away.

I have to say it sounds like rural Catholic communities in the Mediterranean and in Ireland that I knew in the 1960s/early 70s. I remember blessings of film showings and the Angelus being said on the bus. I had hoped such nonsense had been lost in the midst of time but apparently not.

I am Catholic and am a convert from atheism. At the beginning of my spiritual journey I would be attending Catholic events without having a clue what was going on and not praying as I wasn't a believer at that point. I have been a Christian now for 30 years and never in all that time have I been admonished or witnessed another person being admonished for not praying before I was a believer and after. It sounds completely and totally bizarre and inappropriate. Whose to say if someone else is praying or not?! Only if someone was clearly being totally disrespectful (and discreetly listening to something during your 2nd, 3rd or 4th nativity play of the day doesn't count ) might it be suggested that someone should perhaps step out but it would have to be extreme. I am quite baffled

I can count the times I've been inbapraying situation in the last ten years on one hand. You seem to be living at prayer central op. I think you're being called

“I can count the times I've been inbapraying situation in the last ten years on one hand.“
As I said. In the Ireland/Malta of my childhood this would have been entirely normal. Everything was blessed, and the priest was involved in every aspect of life-no new car or boat or football match or film show went unblessed,

But that was a long time ago!

And in a catholic country where they love a blessing (Irish father so I know just What you mean!)

It's quite unusual today in the UK (I've assumed that's where the op is, possibly wrongly) unless I just move in very heathen circles. Which is a real possibility!

I'm very intrigued as to why the op keeps getting prayed at

"I will bow my head out of respect for the service but I'm not prepared to go any further and I will thank you to accord me the same respect"

I'm the vicar and I'm often not praying when everyone else is cos I'm leading the service and I'm working out what to do next. I'm at the front and I can't tell who is deep in prayer, who is mentally going through their shopping list and who is asleep. It is beyond cheeky to critique how someone is or is not praying.