Taking a toddler to church

[BoppyBlippyBoo]

NC as potentially outing.
Really struggling with church at the moment and it all came to a head today when I had to walk out mid service. I have a very active 18 month old son who is constantly loud and on the go, but generally well behaved (well as well as 18 month olds can be). It feels like services are a constant battle at the moment trying to get my son to sit down and be quiet and I am forever chasing him around and making a fool of myself. I bring snacks and toys with us for him to play with but he doesn't like not being able to get up and walk around.

Our church has a foyer where the service is relayed so that you can take your children out if they need to run around. The problem is though, that due to the fact this is where youth church happens in order for the young people to hear what they're doing for their activity the volume of the service has to be turned right down low. My son is too young, I feel, to be left with the bigger children as a lot of the activity involves them sitting and listening something which he isn't capable of doing for long periods of time. This means I effectively miss out on the sermon.

Due to the fact my DH works shift work, he often isn't able to make it to church on a Sunday and when he is there, he normally serves the church so isn't able to help with my son. Due to this I've not listened to a whole service in at least 6 months, but probably even more. I'm really missing out spiritually and I'm feeling very alone.

Today, once again he was very active and loud, running up and down, trying to pull books off the book shelf etc. so I made the decision to take him in to the foyer so he didn't disturb others. I was very visibly frazzled at this point. When we went out he continued to charge around completely hyperactive due to being too tired, disturbing other children and stopping me being able to hear any of the sermon. After about 10 minutes I decided that I just couldn't carry on trying to battle him by myself, so we came back in to church to grab my things and leave.

There were many judgemental stares and not one offer of help or support, despite me being clearly struggling. I'm home now, feeling awful, and feeling really distant from God.

I don't know why I bother going to church on a Sunday anymore. How do people manage with small children at church?

As a Catholic it’s a rare church that doesn’t have lots of babies and young children. A church that isn’t crying is dying (or somesuch corny phrase). It’s great to hear how your pastor was immediately responsive and wanting to find solutions. If you are a SAHM or if you have time at the weekend what about arranging another group outside service time for parents with young children? Such as a prayer/fellowship group or a bible study?

I was part of a group like that when I had a 3 year old and a 1 year old and it was so nice to meet once a week with other people at the same stage of parenting. We used a study guide that was written by a nun who had worked with parents of young children and found the number one problem they were suffering from was isolation. So she created program to form support groups and a guide where you focus on a different topic each week which really built up your relationship with God and each other.

You could arrange to have a crèche or you could meet in the evenings without children. I don’t know if your church building has extra rooms for something like that or if you could take turns meeting in your homes.

Hang on in there. It does get easier. My DC are all older children now but there were spells when they were small when I wondered why I bothered to take them to church because I felt I was toddler wrangling the whole time and none of us seemed to be getting anything out of it. I did also hear some tutting although I was trying my best to keep them under control. The DC all view themselves as Christians now though so I think it was worth it.

How are things going OP? Have there been any changes? I didn't realise how child-friendly my church was, until I was on holiday and visited one that really wasn't - I had to leave mid-service too, as DD loudly announced that she needed the toilet and there wasn't one. (I'd never been to a church that didn't have a toilet available before!) I'd been trying to juggle a toddler on my hip, while holding separate hymn and service books, in the narrowest pew ever. The whole experience was incredibly stressful.

My mother was once asked by a speaker at the pulpit to take a noisy toddler outside during a church service. (my sister, not me)
She persevered bringing us and we still attend church regularly and bring our own kids.
It's tough with little ones. I've been there.
My church is pretty patient with noisy kids but it' still hard.
I think people who disapprove of little kids in church have a cheek. Church is for everyone and if Jesus came to church he'd head straight for the little kids.

Sorry, I know it's been quite a while since my OP but I finally have a really positive update. The church have invested on lots of new play resources for our toddlers which means I can take my son out the back and listen to the services whilst he's happily occupied. Also, the bigger children have moved in to a different room which means we can actually turn the volume up on the speaker to hear the sermon without disturbing them.

On top of that, they've started a proper crèche 2 Sunday's a month! We've only had two sessions so far one of which I stayed with him whilst someone ran it, and the other one I dumped him and ran, and he loved it! They've not quite got a rota set up yet but someone has agreed to run all of them until other volunteers can be organised. He's having his own special bible story and play time whilst mummy gets to listen to the service!

Also Pentecost Sunday was amazing. The minister asked for all the children to come back in for the last few songs and all of the youth church were up at the front waving flags, throwing balloons around, dancing and enjoying worship without fear of rolling eyes. Me and my son actually went and sat in the band as he's obsessed with the music and nobody even batted and eyelid.

Honestly I can't believe the turn around in the last few months, and I'm so glad we all prayed about it and stuck it out. It's not quite perfect yet, but things are soooo much better. Isn't God awesome!

Yay!

That sounds awesome :)

That's great news OP

I remember reading this thread months ago, so glad it’s working out for you.