Asking difficult questions about my beliefs.

[StonedRoses]

I thought this might be a gentler place to ask for some advice. Where do I go (or what do I read) to help me with some of the difficult questions I have about my faith?

I’ve been a Christian most of my life. When younger I was quite evangelical, student Christian union etc. I’m not knocking that branch but that’s not me anymore - I’m definitely more liberal and prefer more high church worship.

Having a partner with difficult MH and physical health issues has put a strain on our marriage - and also my faith. I have loads of questions and doubts about it. My heart still believes but my head is confused how - especially questions about suffering and intervention and prayer. Mostly in response to prayers that don’t seem to be answered. I want to talk to someone or read something that will help me explore my doubts and questions. I want my doubt acknowledged, and not just a glib answer or waved away. I have an academic scientific background and I think I’d prefer a more theological approach. One thing I didn’t like about Student Christian Union was the feeling that at 21 we knew it all and questions were brushed aside. I don’t think Alpha will help me.
What I really want is an old fashioned correspondence with a learned theologian or similar, to have long deep conversations about the meaning of it all!!! But failing that any other suggestions?

I am not a learned theologian, but I am guessing that I am quite a bit older than you and I have seen a lot of life and its suffering.

Faith is a personal thing - it is based on belief rather than knowledge. It is not related to your head.

I am guessing that your faith is still there, but much changed from your student days. Everything changes as you get older including this.

Hang on to the idea of love and kindness - in the end that is what matters.

Alan Watts.

You might try c s Lewis ‘the problem of pain’ and ‘a grief observed’. He lost his mother and wife to cancer so not trite answers.
I also wonder if Nicholas wolterstorff’s ‘lament for a son’ (philosopher/theologian) would help, he deals with his sons death and reflect on suffering but resists easy answers. It’s not the same situation but I imagine you might find reading someone else’s story of suffering and facing up to big questions about faith might be more use than a book which tells you all the ‘right’ answers. Message me if you’d like any more specific recommendations/have questions.

Do you currently go to church? If so I would have a chat with your vicar/priest/pastor they maybe able to point you in a good direction. I’m a member of a house group in my church and we can get into some quite deep conversations or maybe some kind of theology course might scratch your itch.

Yes, I'd recommend having a chat with a vicar or priest perhaps. There are a number of interesting forums online with a theological focus, which might provide some useful friendships, or even just some good jumping off points for questions.

I haven't visited any in a while, but I think OrthodoxChristianity.net still has a forum with some really interesting people on it, and they aren't at all squeamish about tough questions.

What do you want out of this questioning, OP? If you talk to other Christians, what you will overwhelmingly get is people trying to make the pieces that don’t fit, fit.

Not necessarily. Christianity contains a lot of opinions - some of us don't do much cutting to fit, we are happy to live with loose ends.

But I do take the point that a wide base of questioning is worthwhile. It sounds like the OP is looking for a conversation of some depth, but isn't eager to jettison her faith. Obviously, she's going to come across a lot of the same sort of thing she always has, but there are some of us about who are comfortable with doubt, and wouldn't try and impose things.

I’m asking the questions because my head has doubts. I want to try to keep my faith that my heart still has but I need to understand those questions to get there. And for me that means to really explore and question them, not glib easy answers

Keep doing that. Glib easy answers aren't answers at all, of course. They're often just things people say because you're asking questions which make them uncomfortable. I'll be honest, a thread like this on MN is likely to garner some hostility from some quarters, I'm never really sure why, but I've read so many threads on here that state a wish to explore questions and get derailed in odd ways. I just mention that because I wouldn't want you to be disappointed or feel shut down at all.

There are a lot of online places that a good for theological discussion, and I know that there are definitely posters here who would be willing to chat with you about anything via PM, myself included.

Keeping asking questions, and always be honest about doubts. Best way to live.

Hello OP. Just want to echo what FloralBunting says (I usually do, to be fair!) - I think that entertaining doubt is the bedrock and gateway to a more nuanced and fulfilling faith. I too struggle with the whole black and white thing, pat answers to suffering when it's evident there are none - and I love that the Bible itself echoes this, with questioning and doubts featuring heavily through many genres and books in scripture.

Very happy to discuss stuff here, or by pm. I'm fond of some good theological conversation and also fond of challenging my own faith and going deeper into it because of that. I've thought a whole lot about suffering and don't pretend to have a nice list of answers, but can kick around some thoughts.

Some great theologians and authors on this stuff. As suggested, CS Lewis. I like Pete Greig, and just reading Ann Voskamp's The Broken Way. I love reading this kind of stuff to balance out my own thoughts.

I read John Ortberg's Faith and Doubt a while back and remember thinking it was a well written and helpful book about giving doubt a proper place in lives of faith, and that without doubt faith couldn't grow and thrive because it would be so one dimensional and pale in comparison to a faith tested and robustly questioned.

I'm so sorry too to hear of your MH and physical health issues, and problems in your marriage. That sounds incredibly tough. I've struggled with physical health problems all my life and it's so hard sometimes to reconcile it all, isn't it. Yet somehow I find when I dig into doubt and faith that I can uncover more treasures in who God is which don't depend on circumstances or what I want, but on who God is.

OP I cannot praise these people enough. You can ask them anything, argue with them. They are great.

christianity.org.uk/

I too struggle with the whole black and white thing, pat answers to suffering when it's evident there are none The answers are there but can be shocking/uncomfortable.

This is what I love about my church, that questioners and seekers are welcome. We often get people who have been brought up in a church where you just accept everything blindly, I'm glad we encourage questioning. The answers are hard and complicated, as we are and as our questions are, I don't trust answers that are too easy.

Where are you based, OP? You can PM me if you want, I might be able to recommend someone to talk to face to face.

This question comes to us all whilst upon this earth.

It seems to me to be an individual question that only that particular individual can answer for themselves after a period of self enquiry.

As the Buddha put it around 500 BCE

“Do not believe in anything simply because you have heard it. Do not believe in anything simply because it is spoken and rumoured by many. Do not believe in anything simply because it is found written in your religious books. Do not believe in anything merely on the authority of your teachers and elders. Do not believe in traditions because they have been handed down for many generations. But after observation and analysis, when you find that anything agrees with reason and is conducive to the good and benefit of one and all, then accept it and live up to it.”

Buddha has it right, a smart cookie! Look inside more, and there is no rush. Maybe head will calm heart or heart will overcome head. Either way it's for you to discover otherwise you end up with someone else's answers, rather than your own. Good luck.

Well said Jason

Hi OP have you read Rupert Shortt 'God is No Thing: Coherent Christianity'? He has a particular interest in demonstrating how Christian belief can be both philosophically and scientifically sophisticated, and would appeal to you I think. I also loved his book of interviews with theologians 'God's Advocates' - brilliant for getting a taste of a big range of different types of modern theology and has led me to lots of other books. PM me if you'd like to chat more. (I'm not a theologian but I do read quite a lot of theology.)