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Non-Christians and Mass

10 replies

JellySlice · 25/12/2018 11:52

Dd found herself in an awkward situation last night, and didn't know how to manage it gracefully.

We're members of a different faith to Christianity, not religious, but engaged with our faith. We attend other faiths' services, such as weddings and funerals, to join our friends in their celebrations. We join in with singing where we can, standing and sitting, Sign of Peace etc. We would never, however, join in certain prayers or take the Sacrament. Both because these things are contrary to our religion and because they are sacred to the hosting religion - not something to 'tick off the bucket list'.

So, last night.

Dd sings in her school choir, which was singing Midnight Mass at a church. Suddenly she realises that the whole choir is taking Communion. Because they are in choir stalls, she has no choice but to move with her row, otherwise she holds up the entire proceedings.

Unwilling to make any kind of disturbance during the ritual, she just followed along and copied the others.

I suggested to dd that, if she finds herself in a similar situation again, she can just smile and say "No, thank you", or move along with her row, but stand politely to one side while the others participate, before rejoining her row to return to the seats.

Dd has questions which I cannot answer:

Does a non-Christian taking the Sacrament cause offence?

Would standing back cause a disruption? Her circumstances were different to being in the congregation and not going up.

Should she, as a non-believer, have been singing that service at all?

(Happy Christmas to all.)

OP posts:
YouAndMeAreGoingToFallOut · 25/12/2018 11:58

Usually if you go to the Communion rail but don't hold out your hands, you can receive a blessing instead of being given the elements. Give that a midnight mass might have a lot of people attending who don't want to take Communion, I'm surprised that there was no announcement in the service sheet to highlight this option.

If the situation comes up in the future and there's no way to hang back (and I think it's fine to just let people shuffle past you and not go up at all) then that's probably the best option. It's also fine to whisper "just a blessing please" if she's offered the Communion elements.

IAmRubbishAtDIY · 25/12/2018 12:02

Well, as a religious (but not Christian) person I would say it's ok to join in or just say 'no thanks' when she got there, whichever she preferred. Not going with the rest would have caused a disruption to the flow, you're right. If people come to our place of worship and do or don't believe, that's ok, they can join in or not, whatever they feel comfortable with. As long as they don't feel uncomfortable, and I would imagine/hope that this church would feel the same.

Raera · 25/12/2018 12:04

No offence at all.
If this happens again, she should cross her hands across her chest and bow her head slightly and the priest or minister will give her a blessing.
You could do the same if you wished.

HopeHopity · 25/12/2018 12:06

I think it would be very sensible to just receive the blessing next time
She can even just whisper "just blessing please"
Where I grew up we wouldn't take communion if you hadn't confessed or if you just didn't feel "in peace"
I am not religious anymore but, as you, I have high respect for other people's faith.

I think you all sound lovely OP Smile

HopeHopity · 25/12/2018 12:08

Oh and yes, where I come from it would be "an offence" to take it, but I am from abroad.
If done by mistake or not knowing it is fine though. The thought of wanting to be respectful and learn would be seen as "making up for the offence" and respectful

HopeHopity · 25/12/2018 12:09

Oh this is for Catholic byw

JellySlice · 26/12/2018 10:41

There was an explanation in the service sheet for people who wanted to participate, about who was welcome at rail, and how they should behave, but it was couched in such formal language that even the adults in my family had to ask me what it meant. I doubt dd would have understood it. Besides, singing in the choir, she would have been focused on her score.

OP posts:
Moonstoned · 29/12/2018 14:10

Is she very young, OP? Because this just seems like an entirely ordinary situation for someone who regularly attends other religions’ services, and not something that should have cost her a second’s thought.

Fink · 29/12/2018 15:13

I have often pointed out to our priests that the wording of the invitation to receive a blessing is very confusing to anyone who doesn't already know what it means. We don't always help ourselves here!

In the future, I would suggest that, if she doesn't want to receive a blessing, she can do as you say and move to the end of the row to let others pass then back in again. If she does want a blessing, then she should come up with the others and cross her arms over her chest, hands at the shoulders (like in the pictures of how to evacuate an airplane via the slide). Whether she wants to receive a blessing or not is entirely to do with her own beliefs and none of the Christians would mind either way.

It's not a problem for her to sing, as long as she's happy doing that.

As others have said, the Eucharist should only be received by Christians, but it's not offensive to accidentally receive or to not understand what's going on.

IdaBWells · 24/01/2019 21:54

It really depends which church this was. Was it high Anglican or Roman Catholic?

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