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Original poster

Advice on church issue

76 replies

Immigrantsong · 03/08/2018 13:25

Hi, not sure if anyone can help. We would like to baptise our youngest and approached the church we go to. They want £150!!! Isn't this simony? They claim they need this money to function, but surely donations are up to the discretion of people and not a fixed fee. Does anyone have any tips as to what to do and how to raise this?

OP posts:
3girlmama · 03/08/2018 14:59

Our church asks for donations. We donated £150 for both our girls to be christened and our

3girlmama · 03/08/2018 15:00

Posted too soon
Our 3rd dd is being christened there in 3 weeks so will donate the same.
I don't think they're asking too much at your church (I'm c of e) as the upkeep is huge and they are providing a service

Original poster
Immigrantsong · 03/08/2018 15:00

The priest does not want to talk to me about this hence why I am asking here. I get the impression he doesn't want to have to explain things and doesn't get questioned ever.

OP posts:
whatsthecomingoverthehill · 03/08/2018 15:01

Cross posted with update. The orthodox can be a bit funny from what I hear, and it probably depends on exactly which branch, but I would ask the bishop (or their office) who is in charge of the church.

troodiedoo · 03/08/2018 15:02

Take it to the Bishop maybe?

thanksamillion · 03/08/2018 15:07

I used to live in an Orthodox country and churches charged for everything as that was how the priests were paid. It was like the reformation had never happened (which I suppose as far as the Orthodox church is concerned it hasn't).

ChocolateWombat · 03/08/2018 15:08

How regular a Chur h memeber are you? Are you giving financially on a weekly or monthly basis to the Church? How much do you think the Church costs to keep running? Are you really hard up and can't afford to pay?

I think what you are being asked for is normal and not unreasonable. If you can't afford it, I expect you can explain your circumstances and something can be sorted out.

Churches have different policies on these things. Some might say everyone must pay a set fee, others might ask for a donation and some might give a reduced fee for regular memebers......surely it is up to individual churches to choose what to do.....and for you to decide if you like their approach and if not, to go elsewhere.

I would just reiterate that running a cHurch costs a lot of money - do you tithe or give substantially as a matter of course, are you aware of the costs of running the church? If you are a member and committed it's future, surely you want to play a role in its financial future too... £150 sounds like very little.

Original poster
Immigrantsong · 03/08/2018 15:08

@3girlmamma yes but you chose to donate and the amount. We were dictated an amount regardless of things. Does that make sense? Morally it's the equivalent of charging entrance fee to become a Christian. Absolutely sacrilegious. Hence why I am so incessed.

OP posts:
Fluffiest · 03/08/2018 15:10

Independent evangelical here, so a bit different. We don't do baptisms for babies but we do dedications instead. Very similar. We never charge for this or suggest an extra donation. Agree with the OP. Its simply wrong.
We don't charge for weddings either, but then our church isn't 'pretty old building' so people wouldn't want to get marry there unless they were already a part of the church.

Original poster
Immigrantsong · 03/08/2018 15:12

@thanksamillion really? Are you aware that the Orthodox priests actually receive a salary from the Archdiocese? So there shouldn't be a need for supplementation. We donate generously and regularly. But we don't ever condone simony or a stance of obligation. We like giving out of our own accord. Surely that's easy to understand and respect.

OP posts:
YeTalkShiteHen · 03/08/2018 15:15

Morally it's the equivalent of charging entrance fee to become a Christian. Absolutely sacrilegious. Hence why I am so incessed

It’s not. But your baptism will require lighting, heating, the church to be cleaned, extra people involved etc etc. So they're asking you to pay a reasonable amount.

Ask yourself why you resent it so much?

PurpleDaisies · 03/08/2018 15:16

You don’t become a Christian when you’re baptised, especially not if you’re a baby and you’ve had no say in the matter.

DioneTheDiabolist · 03/08/2018 15:16

I'm not sure how Orthodox churches work, but if you have a bishop, you can contact the bishop's office for clarification/to complain.

kenandbarbie · 03/08/2018 15:18

I think you're going to just wind yourself up complaining. Their church, their rules.

whatsthecomingoverthehill · 03/08/2018 15:20

Purple, I don't think this thread is the right place for that discussion. Baptism is a requirement to be a part of many different denominations. Whether you view that as meaning someone is a Christian or not is not relevant to the OP's question.

Original poster
Immigrantsong · 03/08/2018 15:20

@yetalkshitehen because the official church stance is mine: i.e sacraments should be completely free. But loads of churches and priests deviate and do their own thing. Also if the baptism is done as part of the Sunday liturgy there should be no need for any charges as church will already be open, lit and ready for people to arrive. You can't sell sacraments, it's not right. I will put a complaint with the parish and the archdiocese.

OP posts:
kenandbarbie · 03/08/2018 15:21

As someone else said you're paying for the use of the church (heat, lights etc) not the actual sacrament. It's a fairly nominal amount to get worked up about.

YeTalkShiteHen · 03/08/2018 15:21

I’ve just had a google and it looks like the baptismal fees for the Orthodox Church in England are set by the diocese, not the individual church so it seems that the priest may not have a choice.

3girlmama · 03/08/2018 15:21

@Immigrantsong yes I see your point. But if that's what they charge for that service then that's what they need to ask for I guess 🤔

whatsthecomingoverthehill · 03/08/2018 15:22

Given what the OP has said, I would be tempted to give the priest the money, but then not add to the collection. And tell him that is what you are doing.

PurpleDaisies · 03/08/2018 15:23

whats the op stated that it was the equivalent of charging to become a Christian. I don’t think that’s a statement that should go unchallenged. Becoming a Christian is free.

Original poster
Immigrantsong · 03/08/2018 15:23

@kenandbarbie you are most probably right but I also feel obligated to do so as they are deviating from what they should be doing. I have found proof online that they shouldn't be charging and spoke to other churches and found an alternative orthodox church that will do the baptism for free. They agreed with me. And I will happily donate generously to them. Solution reached!

OP posts:
YeTalkShiteHen · 03/08/2018 15:23

Right ok OP, you know best. I can tell you as the daughter of a minister though, that there are often charges for things using the church building, and indeed set by the diocese involved. Because it may well be that the actual baptism is free, but the costs of making the building available and the costs of heating/lighting/extra people are not.

Whatever happens, you’re not exactly going to endear yourself to either the diocese or the priest if you go in with the attitude you’ve taken on here.

If getting your child baptised is so important, why the fuss? Just pay what everyone else has to pay and have it done.

YeTalkShiteHen · 03/08/2018 15:24

Ok I see you’ve found a solution. Hope it all goes well.

Phosphorus · 03/08/2018 15:24

The Catholic church doesn't charge (no matter how irregularly you attend - it's a sacrament, not a members club Hmm ).

Many people give something to the priest, and guests usually drop something into the collection.

Our priest has been known to quietly return money to families he knows are struggling.

He'd be horrified at the thought if anyone being asked outright for cash.

And even more appalled if he thought members of his congregation were putting off people who were drawn to Christ and the church through their child.

It isn't anyone else's place to judge how or why someone stands before Christ.