I'm going through a HELLISH time at the mo. I have recently bcm a christian again - I used to be a serious christian - and all hell seems to have broken loose since I 'came back'.
Last night I was reading about Joseph being sold by his brothers. A very similar thing happened to me (no silly, I didn't get sold into egypt DOH) ie my siblings have badly betrayed me. I read the bit about Joseph having learnt a lot bcs of the years of suffering, and I related to that. I do feel though that the church I'm going to just isn't interested in anything I have to offer, are quite dismissive. I wondered if what I have to offer is actually worth anything iyswim.
As there is a dream that changes Joseph's fortunes, and as things are hideously bad for me at the mo, I asked God for a dream to clarify if whta I had to offer was on the right track (does that make sense?) as my confidence is at rock bottom at the mo.
I dreamt that someone stood up and delivered one of those prophetic thingies in tongues. (This doesn't happen in the church I go to btw but it did happen in the kind of churchs I went to before I went away.) Everyone stood around waiting for an interpretation, and then someone from the front pointed at me to give the interpretation. It didn't occur to me that they were pointing at me, and I ignored it, but she pointed again (this is a woman who I have felt particularly dismissed by) and the others said 'yes YOU'. I was horrified and said NO! I can't do that! and walked out. I was very distressed. Later on in the dream I realised I knew exactly what to say, bcs I had all this on my heart to 'say'.
So what do you think? If it looks obvious to you it certainly doesn't to me. Ok to the smart alecs who will say I read about a dream so I had a dream. Whatever, I asked for some guidance (rare for me to ask for a dream) and this is what I dreamt. I found the dream distressing bcs the tongues thing I just find so aggressive and 'male' somehow - which seems to sum up the kind of abuse I got when I was at the previous church, that caused me, ultimately, to lose my faith.