Can anyone go into church to light a candle?

[hannahtaylorx]

Hi,
I lost my aunt who I was very close to just over two years ago. I know it’s silly because it was so long ago but I still feel like I’m grieving and am looking for closure. I’ve never been particularly religious, but I don’t not believe either. I was just wondering if it would be okay for me to go into a church, light a candle for her and just have a quiet moment regardless? Also, would I be required to wear any particular attire or can I just wear jeans and a top? Any advice would be much appreciated, thankyou :)

Anyone can go in and light a candle, wear whatever you want. Some churches have a donation box nearby to help pay for more candles.

You would be welcome into a Catholic Church. I'd assume others would be the same. Don't worry about what you wear - normal clothes are fine. I hope doing this gives you some peace.

I light a candle when I go to St Paul's, for my DH's step-father, who was a choir boy there before the War. I am an atheist but I see it as a shared place of remembrance.

Yes, of course. If the Church is open, then anyone can go in, and just sit, or pray or think or just rest. Anyone can light a candle. Wear what you want.
As pp said, some Churches suggest a small donation to cover costs of candles etc, but no-one will ind if you don't.

Yes. Not all smaller churches are open all day - sadly because of theft/vandalism some have to close when there are not staff available. Catholic churches (Roman Catholic) all have candles available for people to light. Some Church of England churches do too, but not all of them so don't be embarrassed if you can't find the candles if popping into a new church. You can always sit for a few quiet minutes of thinking/remembering, even if there are no candles.

Of course.

Light a candle and feel free to sit and remember her - donations are welcome but not mandatory.

As long as your respectful your welcome in.

Of course you can

There's often people sitting having quiet moments in churches, you are welcome to go in and take as long as want.

Catholic churches have candles to light, there may be other people quietly there too.Other churches as PP poster said may or may not, but absolutely go in and sit for a quiet moment, for as long as you want to.

Don't be worried about not being a member of the particular church, if you want to chat to anyone there they will happily chat to you.

It's human values, not particular faith rules.

Dress codes are only mosques (shoes off, shoulders cover, head covered, dress modestly to cover up, will still be completely welcomed), for church it doesn't matter at all what you wear. Jeans and a top is fine, no need to cover up or dress up.

I'm an atheist, but my Nan was a Catholic and lighting a candle in church reminds me of her. I pop in every now and then and light one in her memory. I know it would've meant something to her.

I believe so, I have several times and I'm a pagan. They don't ask your religion when you walk in.

I lit a candle for my Mum,Nan and Gran the other day when we went to Wells Cathedral. Not religious in the churchy sense,but feel as long as you respect the building and other's beliefs,you're fine.

Sorry, I didn't mean to sound snippy.

Yes I always do. They usually want a donation eg 20p.

It makes me happy to do this and I do it all over the world.

Did anyone see the documentary about Grenfell where the person in charge of a Mosque told the story of a man who entered and after being asked if he needed help said all he needed was a candle and a place to sit so he could pray for a loved one who’d died in the fire. He was given what he needed and when he was telling the story the Mosque leader was moved to tears.

It was a very powerful considering the times we live in and I’ll never forget it.

Hannah I hope you find peace of heart soon.

DH and I always do for our friend who died who was a Catholic, and for his mum, who it brings comfort to to know we remember him. It's not because we are religious, but because he was, and she is.

Not all churches "do" candles but if they do then yes anyone can light one. At our church there is a laminated set of cards with suggested wording for prayers if you want to say a prayer but are struggling to articulate what you want to say. You don't have to pray - lighting the candle and being silent and still for a time is a wordless prayer all by itself.

I was very close to a child who was born into Islam in a north african country and passed away at only a few months old.

I have gone into a mosque on his birthday every year since and I'm not muslim. I usually have a photo of him with me, I figured I'll ask someone to pray for him or I'll just be there so that someone is remembering this child in the way he should be.

Assuming non muslims aren't asked to not enter at certain times, which isn't the case in most countries, I cover my head, kick of my shoes and follow the women. The atmosphere is also peaceful and welcoming.

I once accidentally got caught in Friday prayers, I hadn't realised it was a Friday and had just stopped by in a country where there was no call to prayer, so I didn't realise. Everyone arrived last minute, as is the tradition for all faiths I find, rush in just on time, I didn't see the men arrive and get into places on a lower level and the ladies all arrived around me. Suddenly prayers started, I looked around, realised what was going on and though oh my goodness, I'm at the front, how do I leave without seeming really rude but I should leave because I'm not muslim. I whispered to the girl next to me, I'm not muslim, what should I do? She said just join in, no problem. I was like Beyonce in the single women dance as I hadn't learned the sequence before, plus one step behind everyone else, no one minded at all.

I told the ladies after why I was there, they were so lovely and welcoming, had a lovely chat with them, they said everyone is welcome, no need to be of any particular faith. It was really lovely.

You don't need to donate in a Catholic Church. I'm a rubbish Catholic but find lighting a candle for my late mum (or even for my late dad who was not a Christian) helpful in grief . He always asked my devout Catholic mum to "say one for me" when she went to church.
For what it's worth, I usually put in more than it suggests for a candle. For anyone who needs to do it too but didn't have the money. So if the money thing is holding you back, I've done it for you. PS: it really shouldn't hold you back . Pps: I do it that way because mum did it that way.

That's a lovely idea OP. I hope you find some peace and comfort.

lighting the candle and being silent and still for a time is a wordless prayer all by itself.

Hannah, yes as other posters have said you can enter a church and light a candle, perhaps make an entry in prayer book requesting a prayer for your aunt. Instead of candles we have a prayer tree, write a message on a notelet and attach to tree, this will be read out during a Service. As regards clothing, you wear what you want, I hope you decide to go along and find peace it doesn't matter whether you believe or not, no one will judge you.

Wouldn't be allowed in our local churches no.

But then we have protestant churches, so all the idea of idolatry, lighting candles etc are a huge no.

If I tried to do that the candle would be extinguished and confiscated.

@speakout - I get that. I presume someone could just come and sit quietly.

Lovely thread. I do this in memory of various people. (respectful atheist here too)

What country are you in speakout? The British have a more historically complicated version of Protestantism where incense may or may not be OK but lighting candles is normally fine.

Basically OP it’s fine in theory but it depends on your local churches. The little ones may not be open outside of service time. Cathedrals may charge several pounds for entry or a heavily hinted suggested donation (though they’ll normally waive that if you say “I’m just going in to light a candle for a friend” and don’t look like a tourist). And some churches don’t do the candle thing. But there’s no harm in trying as long as you’re aware that you may have to try more than one.

I am in Scotland.

I know that candles would not be allowed in our Presbyterian churches.
They are very Calvansitic and austere in mentality- candles are papish .

Grumpy that is lovely. DM is a guide at Wells Cathedral. She says it’s lovely to see people using it as a church, rather than something to tick off their tourist list.

Hannah if a church is open and has candles, you can go a light one. A vicar/priest may ask you if you need anything or want to talk, but will leave you alone if you ask. 2 years is not long ago at all.