Christening - Am I a being a complete hypocrite?

[HolyShmoly]

Both DH and I are Irish and brought up Catholic, DH much looser than me. He'd definitely identify more as agnostic now whereas I'd say I'm a bad Catholic. We live in England now
We don't currently go to mass, although I will go with my family when I'm home and will still go over here for Ash Wednesday, and a few other holy days of obligations. I will also practice abstinence on those days. I enjoy the rituals of Catholicism. However I am not blind to the fact that the Catholic church, especially in Ireland, is abusive, paternalistic and highly problematic.
When we got married we didn't have a Catholic wedding. I generally feel like people that have the big church wedding then bitch about having to go to Catholic marriage classes as part of it are pretty hypocritical.

To get to the point of my post - baby is due any day now and I am planning on having a christening at home for her. Is this hypocritical since we probably won't bring her to mass very much, etc?

You'll get two,sorts of replies. Atheists will say you are being hypocritical and the fact that you even ask the question points to you actually knowing the answer. Catholics will not want to lose another potential member so will encourage the christening. Ask yourself what you think the child age 16 would want, based on your intended parenting and go with that.

Why not have a dedication/thanksgiving blessing instead and let them make their own decision when they are old enough to want to be baptised and for it to be meaningful to them.

What words would you have to say during the ceremony and do you believe those words?

If you would believe what you're saying then not a hypocrite IMO.

What is your motive for wanting a baptism, OP?
If it’s to please the relatives, or for purely social reasons, then that is rather hypocritical. If you are genuinely still a believer, and can make vows in good faith to raise your child as a Christian, then you are not being hypocritical.
If you are unable to stick to the vows, then I think you should do as PPs have suggested and just have a blessing instead. Many Christian sects do not have infant baptism anyway- it’s chosen by adults for themselves, once they’ve been to classes and made the decision to confirm their faith.
I’m sure Jesus will welcome your child with love, at whatever age the human ceremony is carried out!

Go for it. It's a nice thing to do.

I'm confused. At home? How can you have a baptism in your house?
If you believe and intend to bring your child up in accordance with the promises you would make then go for it.

I’m a bit of a lapsed Catholic.

My Grandmother was very devout and lived a terribly hard life including losing 2 children. She always said her faith is what got her through all the bad times.

So I had my own children Babtised into the Catholic faith because it might do the same for them in later life as it did for my Grandmother.

(And absolutely nothing to do with getting into a decent high school)

By at home I mean in Ireland. In the same font where I was christened, with family present. It's a ritual I quite like. It wouldn't be an excuse for everyone to go to the pub and get smashed and ignore the baby.
I've been to enough christenings that I should know the words off but I can't remember all the vows other than to reject Satan, all his works and empty promises and to bring the child up in the faith.
Either way I will probably pass on some of my faith to my child. They won't necessarily go to a Catholic school (although realistically being able to go to the Catholic high school is a plus but not reason in itself.) To the best of my ability I'll bring them up to be a good christian, which to me means trying to be a decent human being.

Some people think baptism will bring an advantage like being able to get into a good school, others think it's a load of hooey but do it anyway to keep their parents happy.

These days, very few baptisms appear to be done because the parents are devout churchgoers and want to bring the child up in the faith.

Just do whatever makes you happy OP

do what you want. It's all cults and rituals...

I’m an atheist but I think you should do whatever you want to do.

I’m an atheist. I don’t passionately disbelieve, I just don’t, at all. However I’m respectful of others and their beliefs.

I was christened as a baby. It has had no bearing whatsoever on my life. I wasn’t rasied to be an atheist, nor are my family strongly religious though most of them do believe. I’m not bothered by the fact I’m Christened. My parents did what they thought was right at the time.

I'm a Christian but not a Catholic.

There's nothing wrong or hypocritical about having your baby christened and that's nothing to do with "not wanting to lose a member" as stated by a pp.

you are practicing your religion to the extent you feel comfortable with, going to mass on major days of obligation. Some people obviously practice more enthusiastically, others less - it's a spectrum. There is no rule to say that the christening of children belongs only to those further along this spectrum than you.

If you would find spiritual value for you and your child in going ahead then there is no reason on earth or in heaven not to do so.

I'm an atheist and wouldn't see it as hypocritical. You like the ritual of it. that's okay. I like carol services and I'm fine with that because I'm not pretending to believe in god. And you actually do have a faith of sorts so go for it.

Thanks all for the comments. I think just talking through it helped settle my mind.

Had my dc baptised but have now adopted a more agnostic view as has my dh. Don't think our kids will receive any more sacraments much to my parents upset. We are however living in Ireland. Waiting to be shunned by society.

Dc1 and dc2 were baptised in Ireland while living in Uk and used it as an excuse for a family get together. Easy going priest and quick christening.

@HolyShmoly there's an article by Conor Pope in the Irish times from the last week or so about christening his daughter in similar circumstances

I'm an ex Catholic atheist and my children are not baptised although I did promise to bring them up in the faith when I got married. I got married in a Catholic church mainly to please my father, which was very important to me at the time (being a Catholic was important to my father and my two siblings who got married before me didn't choose a Catholic ceremony so I thought it would be a nice thing to do). I was a bit ambivalent about faith at the time where now I would say I actively reject it. I didn't feel hypocritical at the time where now I would, so I think you are OK, as you seem to be a bit of a wavering Catholic rather than a rejector of the church like me, but be aware that you may have to attend classes with the priest to prepare for the ceremony and you should consider the words you will need to say and their meaning. I don't think it's the part about renouncing Satan and rejecting sin and evil that you will find difficult but there are two parts which ask for a commitment to bring the child up in the Catholic faith where you may need to think about what that really means compared with your intentions.

www.catholicliturgy.com/index.cfm/fuseaction/textcontents/index/4/subindex/67/textindex/7