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Original poster

Depressed Mormon Missionary.

66 replies

speakout · 03/06/2018 15:07

He has been told to "pray more". Currently in Belfast, only 19 years old has been suffering depression off and on for a year. Now so bad he can't function.
Denied medical treatment- Bishop has told him to pray .
Any thoughts?

OP posts:
MrsSchadenfreude · 03/06/2018 15:10

Leave the cult/religion. Maybe their ridiculous rules and doctrines are causing the depression. Is he in Belfast on his mission? Maybe he is homesick?

Original poster
speakout · 03/06/2018 15:14

Totally agree. Yes Belfast on mission. He is not allowed to contact his family.

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Lustrum · 03/06/2018 15:21

I once met a female teenage Mormon missionary on a bus in Ireland — she’d only fairly recently arrived and I think I was one of the first non-Mormons she’d ever spoken to in her life. Very, very sheltered, entirely brainwashed, and at 18 or 19 confronting for the first time the idea that there were other ways of living. I could see pennies dropping all over the place, and hoped she would be able to find her way out eventually without too much psychic damage.

Which is a long way round of saying that I think this situation may be quite common among young Mormons abroad for the first time.

Original poster
speakout · 03/06/2018 15:24

Lustrum yes thank you.

I have had a lot of contact with this young man - my mother who lives with me and is a recent convert.
I am so annoyed that he cannot seek medical treatment.

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MrsSchadenfreude · 03/06/2018 15:26

Presumably his minder is not helpful either? Is he American? I think they are the most sheltered, particularly those who have grown up in a Mormon neighbourhood. And if he did contact his family, they would probably give him short shrift, although a friend of mine has just come back from visiting her daughter on her mission on the other side of the world.

Original poster
speakout · 03/06/2018 15:30

MrsSchadenfreude you are right- no help in any direction. And yes from Salt Lake. He is the eldest of 10 children- so great white hope.
OH joked that we could send him a ticket to Ibiza and a late night bar job for the season.

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Anasnake · 03/06/2018 15:34

This stuff makes me so angry. It's a cult based on utter nonsense, nothing more. I presume he has a companion who never leaves his side ? It's supposedly for support but also to keep tabs on each other.
Is there anyway to get him on his own and get some help ???

Original poster
speakout · 03/06/2018 15:41

Anasnake thank you- yes you are right- you get the companion stuff.
He is geographically remote from me and yet I feel for him so badly.

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Akire · 03/06/2018 15:43

They have to register with a GP in area they are so why didn’t he go doctors? There’s nothing in faith about not taking appropriate medication for illness

MrsSchadenfreude · 03/06/2018 15:47

I wonder if the minder would insist on coming to a GP appointment. I wonder if the GP would allow the minder in? My friend’s minder even came to her Granny’s funeral with her. Her C of E parents were not impressed, even though it was dressed up as “support”.

Akire · 03/06/2018 15:51

F course he be allowed in on own. How strange. They do go to the bathroom alone and such! The “minder” would also be similar age just bit more experienced think minder is not OTT

Anasnake · 03/06/2018 15:52

They aren't supposed to leave each other's side except for toilet and showers.

Original poster
speakout · 03/06/2018 15:58

Akire no GP registration.

Many missionaries are in one location for 6 weeks.
And missionaries are not in a position to " go to the doctors".
Day to day behaviour is extremely restricted.
The local bishop gets the say in whether these missionaries can visit the GP.
And certainly something like depression is considered a spiritual concern.

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Anasnake · 03/06/2018 16:01

This documentary explains the missionary process:
m.youtube.com/watch?v=3ralXLnOqDI

Original poster
speakout · 03/06/2018 16:02

Anasnake yes you are right.

We live close to a Mormon church, and a property owned by the church too for missionary use.
It is a two bed property, the missionaries have to share a room.
Bed times together, lights out 10pm, Up at 6am together.
Only toilet and shower time apart.

OP posts:
NotSureThisIsWhatIWant · 03/06/2018 16:03

I hope someone with more experience of hosting these missionary kids shows up soon.

I’m sure there are other things they can advise apart of praying! They tend to watch well for each other so hopefully he can get the support from his local church soon.

Ps... if you ask any “man of faith” for advice on feeling down, the first thing you will hear is “pray and trust in God”. IME it never fails...

NotSureThisIsWhatIWant · 03/06/2018 16:04

By that I mean you never fail to get that response, it is years since I lost faith that praying was the answer.

EduCated · 03/06/2018 16:07

You could contact his family on his behalf. He is also allowed weekly email contact (though when you need a hug from your mum, it’s not much really).

Are you able to keep inviting them round for supper? I know many missionaries struggle financially and eat poorly, which won’t help at all.

It’s a very strange existence and one I can’t fathom, personally. The companions and area leaders (aside from the bishop) tend to be of a similar age and it seems to be very much kids looking after kids.

Anasnake · 03/06/2018 16:09

I have Mormon family (from Utah), as an atheist I'm not very popular !

OddS0ck · 03/06/2018 16:11

It's not the Bishop who says whether the missionary can see a Dr but the Mission President.
Unfortunately some of these guys are so hard core they will indeed tell a missionary to pray, study and work harder and that depression is a sign of lack of faith or sin.
It can have catastrophic consequences.

I don't really know what you can do. His family are very unlikely to be a realistic support and he's very unlikely to tell them how he is feeling either. If you can somehow let him know you're there for him that may help.

It's a very oppressive, controlling organisation. Immensely rich too. Not so much a religion as a very big business.

Jason118 · 03/06/2018 16:19

Phone the police - say you think he's been abducted and he needs medical intervention. Radical but at least they may be able to help the poor guy. No one should have to put it with this sort of mind control.

Original poster
speakout · 03/06/2018 16:24

Jason118 I am so tempted.

The sad thing is - I heard from my mother's church - is that he wants to speak to me. ( I am atheist btw)
He is not allowed to phone me.

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OddS0ck · 03/06/2018 16:24

He'd tell the police he's fine. Chances are he himself thinks he's in the wrong. You could only help him escape if he wanted to.
The mission president will be holding onto his passport too.

Original poster
speakout · 03/06/2018 16:29

OddS0ck you are right.I have been holding off emailing him.
He has been brought up in this shit and will be relying on it to hold on to- despite the fact that it is the circumstances that has caused the problem
I can't see I can be of any real help.

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Anasnake · 03/06/2018 16:30

Pretty sure they are only allowed their phones and social media at set times and with supervision.