convents, enlightenment etc

[SpringNowPlease2018]

hi

I hope you will bear with me as I'm just learning about certain things and I am curious to know what others think.

I was thinking - there is a lot said about how silence and solitude and simplicity is hard. But for some of us, it's much needed. I'm not of a particular religion but tbh at the moment, if I was, I would seriously look at getting me to a nunnery!

I realise that some people go through all kinds of things in order to experience "enlightenment" and it seems like it's seen as a real sacrifice. Perhaps this is semantics, but is it, if you actually want to do it?

I have been reading Sara Maitland's book on silence. I can really relate to the people who did the round the world boat things alone and said the best thing was the silence. I realise, of course, that some people do things that are really hard e.g. physical endurance etc

but just thinking about daily life in a nunnery, if you hardly had contact with the outside world - that would be marvellous wouldn't it? I haven't talked to a nun since I was a teenager so I don't really know what they would say - is it safe to assume many would love their life?

I was even wondering if there was a way to set up something that wasn't set on one particular religion, but just a community that was like a nunnery, with shared human values.

anyway I'm waffling a bit because all these thoughts are new to me...I just wondered what people thought.

I've heard of these silent retreats. I don't think it was based around a particular religion. There's a few in this link:

metro.co.uk/2016/08/15/14-of-the-best-mindfulness-retreats-6036485/

I think it would great and that a lot of people would benefit from this type of thing. IMHO we need more focus on the spiritual other than the material if we are to truly progress and thrive in this world.

Are you able to try one of these for a couple of weeks to start with, see how you get on.

Ps, is it difficult to find time in your daily life now for silence and peace OP?

thanks Vitalogy, I was just about to give this a bump

I have been to silent retreats, yes. Oddly some of them are set up so you are meant to talk to people at some point, but anyway.....!

what I was thinking of was how to actually go about setting up a group, with some silent hours in the day. It sounds drastic but it's increasingly seeming like something that would suit me.

It just seems that every kind of co-op that would have single childfree women is a nunnery and I wondered why...I feel there could be a few of us around who would live in a group, but separately in terms of rooms etc of course, and grow food, and help in the local community.

I'm a Londoner and frankly if I sold my London flat and got somewhere up north I could probably afford the plot of land and bed and bath for about 10 people! It would have to be a charitable foundation I suppose. I do believe there would be something in the idea but I just don't know how this kind of thing exists outside formal religion, or perhaps it doesn't.

maybe it really isn't something anyone is interested in, I don't know. I don't even think of it as focussing on the spiritual. Just that silence and simplicity, with group work in the local community, sounds like a life that I would find very valuable and I wondered if others would too. Do nunneries and monasteries have a lot of applicants, or very few, I wonder?

"Ps, is it difficult to find time in your daily life now for silence and peace OP?"

sorry, x posted with my long waffle.

no, it isn't difficult. I would quite literally like to make a mission of it though. I can move to the countryside and grow veg etc but I don't really want to do it alone. And it's not a commune I'm thinking of - or is it? - a group of likeminded women I suppose, single and childfree and wanting a similar lifestyle.

I'm friends with lots of nuns and what they tell me is that living in community is hard. If you are planning to set up a community of your own might it be worth spending time with a a silent order to test it out? Most orders are nor silent but maybe try out a retreat house or similar.

Have you seen this website OP:

www.diggersanddreamers.org.uk/

Vitalogy, thank you, I will look at that.

thegreenheartofmanyroundabouts - brilliant username! I'm interested to hear more about that if you want to share, though I understand if you don't.

Is it the psychology or the more practical stuff you are after? I'm t a conference where we are looking at some of this at the moment. This is in a Christian context so we have a shared framework and language. Working out what that looks like in a secular context could be really interesting as you would probably need to set out the group expectations as misunderstanding what is expected or needed can cause huge headaches in group living.

Green heart, it's the practicality I'm more interested in, but then again I'd need to know something about the psychology in order to get women interested in something like that.

I have thought that set religious rules provide a framework.

I would like to meet nuns and talk about this but I don't think any nun would want to meet me as I don't know the Bible much at all.

I should add, for me, the community idea partly developed as a way of staying safe. I know from experience how a woman living alone is subject to a lot of attention from men.

Yes, I could move up north alone to a small holding and make new friends but a community of women just seems great and like a buffer against all the problems of being a single woman. I think a communal area where you'd only go if happy to chat would be good. I wouldn't want to bother anyone.

I wouldn't be asking if I could persuade my single childfree friends to join me but they love their london lives.

It seems like this sort of thing is only set up for religion and/or enlightenment purposes. But they could be a force for good in many ways.

It's not in any way silence-based, but you might also be interested in Older Women's Co-Housing.
www.owch.org.uk

It isn't so much the religious rules but a shared narrative that seems to underly the religious communities that I know. So if Sr Mary is seriously winding you up there are known ways of dealing with that angst. She still winds you up as you have been living with her for 40years and know all her faults and horrid habits just as she knows yours but there might be a vow of obedience which means this is where you live which doesn't come into secular communities. Obedience in where you live might be the rule but the example of Jesus in forgiveness and care for the other is the narrative in which it is worked out.

There is no reason why you can't talk to nuns about community. They are generally very practical people.

A non religious community is Findhorn in Scotland. It might be worth visiting them and seeing how that works.

Thank you greenheart

In the place I'm envisaging I can't see people annoying each other any more than in a close knit workplace I guess. Probably less, on account of the time spent apart which would be much more than you have in a workplace

I'm actually going to Scotland in summer so I will add that to my list.

This thread is very helpful, thanks everyone.

Sounds like an Ashram. You might be interested in researching more

Try reading Eat, pray love. It's an amazing book, one woman's experience of seeking mindfulness and silence, mainly silence within. I am exploring my faith at the moment, this book spoke a lot to me.