Question for atheists

[IWishIKnew]

Hi. I’ve name changed as I haven’t “come out” to my family yet.

I am from a Catholic family. I was always a bit skeptical but I came to realise that there is no god a year or so ago. I have only told DH (who isn’t religious and not really bothered).

My question is how did your family take it (if they are theists) and did their attitude towards you change once you told them?

Also, at what age did you tell DC? Should I tell DC? They have been brought up catholic but we don’t go to mass except for Christmas.

I’m thinking most of my family won’t care much but my DB is a born again Christian and is very involved in his church so I really don’t know what he’ll think of me when I tell him.

Personally, I would tell your children, yes. But then I don't agree with children being brought up in a religion rather than 'there are lots of people who believe in different religions and also no religion and you're free to make up your mind'.
But it might be hard for them to be suddenly given a u-turn in what you're telling them so maybe figure out a way to do it carefully depending on age?

If your brother treats you differently because of it then that's awful. People who put religion before family and friends just baffle me.

it doesn't sound like something you need to announce to extended family. You could stop Christmas mass with kids if you feel like it, or you can still go for the community, tradition, heritage, etc.

If the discussion was forced upon you by family, I suggest say non-committal things. If someone presses then you have to fess up. But it's not right for them to try to make you feel bad about it.

May I suggest you research Humanism, instead, as an identity or outlook? Humanism is a broad philosophy. Nice to believe IN something rather than be defined by what you "not believe".

I will now be namechamging permanently

Thanks for your replies.

I will look up humanism.

I was brought up atheist, my kids are atheist.

My family are born again. they had no qualms about trying to convert me.

Nice to believe IN something rather than be defined by what you "not believe".

Sorry but that's a heap of crock.

Am I "defined " by not being a foot ball supporter, or defined by not being an astronaut?

I don't have a faith shaped hole in my life.

I think you agree with me, Speakout.
Soz if I spoke it bad.
Brian Cox said it well, who wants to be defined by what they don't believe in, just as you say, just as I said.
Humanism is a nice way to make that lack of religious belief into something active, not a statement of what's not there.

ragged I understand where you are coming from, but not all atheists are humanist.
Atheism is a lack of faith. Atheists share no common understanding except the lack of belief in god.

I’m an atheist parent who was raised a catholic.
I agree with the pp who said you should give yourself some space to decide what you want to say by giving non commital answers for now.

I tell the children that no one knows what happens when we die but people believe different things.

Also, atheists are defined by lack of religion as much as horses by lack of wings

A lot of people who go to church dont actually believe in a literal god. No reason why you can't be a cultural catholic and go to church for weddings, funerals, family events etc without having to actually believe they are anything other than they are nice traditions.

I dont think its something you need to tell your extended family for a while, let them uncover it for themselves if they are that interested. If asked just say "I don't know if there is a god or not, its hard to be sure about anything so metaphysical".

If your not pushing religion on your children its not even necessary to tell them anything, just give them a good sceptical education in the dozens of modern and historical religions (from Xenu, the Prince Philip Movement and Thor to Yahweh, Pastafarianism and Wicca) and like when they uncover the truth about Santa they too will uncover the truth about religions. As long as you answer their questions honestly of course.

I was brought up catholic. Decided I didnt believe in it when I was about 16. I feel the same way. I don't believe in any religion and have brought up my children this way. Have always said that it is up to them what they choose to believe in. All 3 of them are not religious.

I agree that you can believe in God if that is what you feel but you DO NOT have to be part of any religion as it is a social construct in my eyes. Morality is what i focused on with my children.

Pastafarianism

Is there any need for a big announcement? I have never discussed religion with my siblings and these days i dont discuss it with my mum and we are from a large catholic family. I think some of my siblings are atheists but we just dont feel the need to bring it up.

My in laws try to make a fuss about us not going to church and how we need to be "saved" but they belong to some evangelical type church. We just told them firmly that our beliefs are our personal business and we dont discuss them. so they actually have no idea what we believe in - drives them mad!

I used to be Catholic too OP (although in think in the eyes of the church I still am as can't be undone) but now an atheist and humanist.
This was before I had the DCs. DH is Catholic but he's not really too bothered which makes things easier.
I don't really announce it to people but only if asked e.g. why the DCS aren't baptised. I say it'll be up to them when they are older.
Good luck and groups can be good - I got a lot of support from the humanists at the time.