Where do I fit?

[OnlyGodKnowsWhy]

Pretty much that, as I've got older, I've started feeling the urge to find my spirituality, whatever that may be. It's like a gap that Im trying to fill. In my early twenties, I pretty much classed myself a pagan and practised as one, fell by the way side with dc's arriving. I was interested in Buddhism for a while, never really came to anything. I've talked a lot about Christianity with my aunt who is a minister, but it just doesn't fit.

I have fairly strong beliefs. I do believe there is a higher power, I don't believe we just accidentally came to be. I believe in what I see around me, nature and the cycles it follows. How pretty much everything is a cycle. I don't believe in a heaven and hell idea, I think when we die we are reborn again, like the cycles I see around me. I believe in being kind, giving without receiving or recognition and generally trying to do my best.

I am quite a logical person that loves routine and structure. Although I have fairly strong beliefs, I suppose I want the ritual, I want to research and have some sort of guide to follow. Pretty hard when I don't know what I'm most closely classified as! Any advice would be appreciated.

You sound Church of England to me.

If you can bake cakes and ice buns, pour sherry with a steady hand, make cucumber sandwiches and fruit flans, and decorate draughty halls with russety coloured leaves, sheafs of wheat and dodgy amusingly shaped root vegetables, flowers or woollen hand made lamb /camel figurines, you're a natural.

I don't believe in the Christian idea of god/Jesus.

You could try and look into Buddhism again.
It's all about life cycles and it would fit your description.
I don't see it just as a religion, but also a philosophy and a way to be at peace with your surroundings. How deep you want to go into this would be entirely up to you.

Yes I do think Buddhism is probably the closest fit. I really struggled in knowing where to start though.

I found listening to audio dharma podcasts an easy way in. Anything with Gil fronsdal speaking. Pick a topic that sounds interesting and listen.

Start your own - that's how many of the existing off shoots come into being. You can then make it exactly how you want it without having to fit into a pre-existing configuration.

OnlyGod your post pretty much describes me. I often feel a spiritual need and have never been sure how to fill it. I'm currently facing a cancer diagnosis so "meaning of life" issues are very much on my mind at the moment. Following a conversation with a lay preacher friend who doesn't force Christianity down your throat, I've been thinking about the Quakers. I'm about to go out but hope to return to this discussion later.

I am a spiritual person and an atheist.

I don't think much of the christian religion, but very interested in gods and goddesses as archytpes. I celebrate the turning of the seasons.

Oddly enough, it was a cancer scare followed by a situation that made me think i was about to die that started me feeling the need to find some spiritual meaning to life.

I've been thinking a lot and although I've looked at Buddhism again, it doesn't feel right.

There are certain times in my life where I have seriously asked for help from something higher than me and every time, that help has happened. I guess I will just keep looking and reading and hopefully one day, something will click.

Oh and I'd like to add, my username is nothing to do with my beliefs! It's a title of a favourite song of mine! Just realised it might seem a bit odd.

Why don't you start reading about the world's major religions and find one that convinces you. That is what my brother did many years ago when he felt like you do now.

It sounds DS like you are most likely going to fit into the Vedic group of religions (Bhuddism stem from this). I would suggest starting with ISKCON. This group most takes its teachings from the Bhagavad Gita. The basic premise is that there is one supreme being (God/Krishna) and everything is a part of god. You are a part of god, animals are a part of god, tres are a part of God etc. There are two types of energy, spiritual energy and physical energy. They exist on different planes (I.e. Harm to physical manifestations of the soul, your body, will not harm your spiritual manifestation, your soul). When you die your soul just finds a new physical form until you reach enlightenment and become one again with god. The idea is one of peace and mindfulness. You just have respect for others because they are a part of god, you must recegonise that the material world is not as important and the spiritual and you must try to see god in all that you do in order to restore your soul to spiritual purity. And so on. I can't say that I agree 100% with their interpretation of the Vedic texts but it a very good starting point for learning because the overriding ideal is that religion without philosophy is meaningless and that you can only experience true spirituality by trying to understand metaphysical and spiritual truths. I wouldn't advise getting too caught up in it though. They are nice people but a lot of them are too stupid to really understand the philosophy so don't end your inquiry there. Use it more as a springboard for further investigation of Vedic mythology and metaphysics.

Atenco, I will do. I know the basics of most the major religions as I took religion throughout high school, I was fascinated by religion.

I know what I don't believe in. I don't believe that people are born in sin. I don't believe that the only way to god is through Jesus. I don't believe in a heaven or a hell. I don't believe in a devil.

I do believe people are responsible for their own lives and choices. That pain and suffering is a part of nature and a part of life itself, sometimes caused purely by ones own actions, sometimes because pain is another aspect of living. I believe in kindness, giving without needing recognition or return. I feel the most spiritual stood on a beach, listening to the sea, or watching a waterfall, smelling flowers on a walk, sitting on a bench and watching life. I do believe in celebrating the changing seasons.

I just can't work out where or how to fit all that together.

Sounds a lot like liberal Christianity to me. In the US it might be progressive Christianity although I'm not so familiar with this strand being UK based.

Is there a Forest Church near you? You might find some people on some interesting journeys.

From your last post it seems to me that you don't need a religion at all! You list all the good human traits so why do you need to 'believe' in anything else?

Talking to my lay preacher friend, we both felt there is a human need to believe in absolutes, to never feel fear or doubt, and to be guided by rules and rituals that make us feel safe. But the reality is, we live in a world where nothing is certain and the ground can shift under our feet at any moment. She felt we need to come to terms with that - she called it living in the gap, I would simply call it living with (and accepting) uncertainty. On top of that, we can find things that give us joy and spiritual calmness, whether it's nature or other people or something else. And we should never stop seeking answers. Although she attends church regularly, my friend was keen to emphasise that I may not find what I need through a local church as it can be a collection of random people, often with petty concerns, who happen to live in that vicinity, and with whom I would have nothing in common. She did feel (and I agree) that it's important to keep pursuing ideas, and to find like-minded people to discuss those ideas with.

As a P.S. to the above, her basic suggestion (which might suit you too) was to join a spiritual group. She specifically suggested the Quakers, who's values are things like equality, integrity, peace, sustainability, but it could be any group. Then you can explore ideas in a more guided, organised way - and keep exploring and moving on if necessary until you find some kind of structured group that chimes with your needs.

I'm a Christian. Im not sure if this will be helpful as it sounds like you have looked into Christianity already and have decided that it is not for you.
But in case it is read on
My own life has totally changed for the better with the help of the Holy Spirit. When I ask for help, it comes and my belief is that it comes via the Holy Spirit.
You could go along to an alpha course if there is one local to you.
Not to know the basics of Christianity as it sounds like you have already looked into this in some depth.
What I thought might be helpful for you is that they have a prayer day at some point during the course where you can seek to encounter the Holy Spirit. Through this you might find what you are looking for.

I did!

TheFarSide, thank you, I've had a look at Quakers and so far, I'm liking what I am reading. I'm going to research further