Going from joining in with everything to having your first baby at church?

[Sundaylunchhappy]

Hello,

Clearly had too much time on my own this week and therefore thought up all sorts of silly ideas!

My dh calls me mrs volunteer, charming! However I love that I have the time to get involved in all the midweek groups (toddler/senior lunches/baking/flower arranging). I find it really rewarding along side my part time job in a way my previous career never was.

Anyway, we are now expecting our first dc, very very excited! However I'm wondering how you make the transition from making the tea to sitting and drinking it? Does church as you know it change?

Also, I worry that i put church and my faith in the wrong order sometimes, but I'm so keen to be part of this fellowship after years of non attendance for all sorts of reasons.

I found it both opened and closed opportunities (like other life changes I've subsequently discovered).

It is harder to do some stuff (hosting evening events, committing to leading a small group due to timing) but other things become possible.

I started meeting 1-1 with some young adults for mentoring and discipleship because we could just arrange a time that suited us both and the baby slept or played in the corner (lasted about a year!). Working FT had made that harder before.

I also found it easier to be involved in getting to know newcomers - having a child roughly the same age is an instant connection. Older people often love coming over for a chat especially if they can cuddle the baby for a bit - and some days I was so encouraged to hear that they do grow up at some point... And some teenagers really like small kids so when we hit toddler stage, it was an opportunity to build some relationships with them whereas before I was just an old fart to them and both become a friend and sometimes find a babysitter!

Don't worry. If you want to be part of the fellowship and you offer what you can, you will find ways to be involved and each of us is a part of the body, all important and all useful.

Thank you for your encouraging post.

You've made a lot of excellent points, especially the bit about young adults at church.

I work pt as a supply teacher and struggle sometimes to switch from disciplinarian to normal mrssundaylunch. It's one age group I've not found easy to get involved with, but if a young child could possibly help bridge that gap I'd be delighted.

Really glad I posted the contents of my (slightly foggy) mind now

Personally I've found it rubbish tbh, sorry to add a gloomy note! Glares at toddler playing at back as no sunday school, can't get involved in any grown up social things as no babysitter and had to leave the choir as no babysitter. Did have a lovely couple from church who took baby for walks so that bit was nice but they are too ill to do that anymore 🙁

Sorry to hear that Doublegloucester. Thankfully the junior church and baby facilities are pretty huge, however I know a local lady who struggles because she wants to attend the more traditional parish church, but with two under two in tow and no other children in the congregation it's hard. Is there someonevin the leadership team you could speak with about finding a way 'Back in'?

Well hopefully it will work out fine then if you've got all the facilities set up . Just make sure it doesn't work out as you supervising baby/junior church every week and never getting a break!

It's annoying here as the church claims there's not enough interest in a Sunday school to run one but without a Sunday school there's nothing to attract new families... vicious circle.

But as tigger said, having a cute baby is a good way to start conversations with newcomers or people you don't know well so that is defo a positive.

One thing I've found particularly challenging is that pre-DD, DH and I used to serve a lot together. Now, typically, one of us is looking after DD.

I took a long time to cope with life with a DD (about a year before I could handle baby groups) - most people don't take that long! The winning combination is if your DC gets on with another family's DC, then they entertain each other while the adults meet up - either as whole families, or with just one parent each. That way you may manage meaningful conversation with another adult with slightly fewer distractions. This has got better as DD has got older - she's 4; if she's with other 4 yo's, I get quite a bit of adult conversation.

Meeting up with others who don't have children worked for me until DD was about 1 - she was slow to be mobile (12 months when she crawled); I found her less of a distraction than the other person.

Hope that gives you some insights! I'm also at a church with plenty of families (and therefore a Sunday school etc.)

It does seem daft not to provide anything for children, that's why we left the parish church within a week of trying it out. I shall beware of the rota and view it with caution!

Good point SheepyFun, I'm not sure how dh would feel if he was on his tod whilst I'm off making pasta filled 'musical' instruments etc. Though there is no reason he couldn't do it I suppose.

I would just say be aware of your energy levels and your child's personality. I have to say though I was always much less tired after a day spent with other people and ds rather than ds on his own! There were times though when I think he just needed me and some peace and quiet.

I switched to helping at the church Bumps and Babies group. It worked really well.

I also went to a Women's Group at another larger church to the one we worship at which had a Creche. I loved it and really miss it now I am back at work.