need support, my divorce will be thru this week, and i'm devastated

[pirategirl]

HI,

Its a long story, but my dh left me 2 yrs ago and our dd2.

We had a very close relationship, lots of happy times, but lots of very difficult times, with depression, on both sides, money probs, life trauma, bereavements.

Then after dd was born, we had another pg whcih we lost, after that in hinsight it all semed to go wrong.

He turned to buddhism, and pratically left me with that really. He became so angry all the time.

He walked out on us, and it has ruined my life, and i miss him so much.

Yet, I filed for divorce as as much as I wantedmy mariage to work, he didnt.

He has been mean to us ever since, and is so angry with me all the time even tho he now has another partner.

I have been a good mum, and always encouraged him to spend time with our dd.

But but he has been almost inhuman. I just need some positive thoughts and needed to share this.

thankyoux

Sending lots of positive thoughts your way, hoping that your dh can let go and get over his anger, so that you can move on too. It sounds as if you have had a really awful two years. Praying that this can be a turning point for you, and a fresh beginning.

There's a Christian prayer thread a little further up. I would be very happy to put your name on our prayerlist, if you would like us to.

Yes please thankyou.

Oh Pirategirl - Thinking of you and Praying for you honey. [[[hugs]] Focus on your beauitful children and be so thankful for them!!

Praying for you - I know what its like to go through a painful divorce, and I really feel for you {hugs}

I appreciate your words, just waiting on the post now, might ring the solicitor 2morrw.

Do keep us up-to-date sweetie. Thinking of you and praying .xxxx

Budhism and anger doesnt quite go piratgirl! SOunds like he wasnt listening there either. I am sneding lots of hugs your way and positive thoughts a plenty.

thankyou gf, we have mat b4 on here havent we?

Have had two letters from solicitors in past 2 days, neitherof them 'THE' letter, so have started to get annoyed, like I just want it too be over. In my heart I dont, but otherwise I do know its inevitable.

Yes we have met before. It all sounds really sad but you know it is over and therefore now need to get this bit over with as well. Am sending positive vibes still though.

Sounds like he is trying to find himself and is better facing that alone, as he hurts those close to him otherwise.

You are a good mum encouraging him to still connect with your daughter. Look after yourself and take the time to find the human in yourself and let go of his problems to allow you to work on yours.

Blessings and positive light and love
Paps x

Thankyou Papillon and Glitter.

It seems so strange to me that her left, then took up with another only a few weeks later, to live a similar life, as she has kids.
I really thought he would go off on a world trip, or to a retreat for some months, as he has not been alone for about 15 yrs.

Maybe he just changed and I didnt. I am a very spiritual person, he never was, but in his quest to find himself, becmae more ugly in thought and mind and emotion imo. More confused.

I know I have to let go, of h is problems, it is hard when you devote your life to someone, and want to bring them happiness. You want to sort them out.

I just feel very alone, and sad that I dont share my dd with him, i miss him very much. He can barley look me in the eye, and when he does I dont think I'm imagining things but that connection we had still resides.

THis is about you now though pirategirl and your duaghter however full of quite proper longing you are for what might have been or was.

He does not sound in the least bit spritual to me because that would be a forgiving space. Many budhists would find it hard to compute your image of him with anything remotely like their beliefs or philosophy.

You need space to grieve and if he is not allowing himself that it will rebound on him at some point but that is really not your problem.

I think someone who does not respect or value the relationship they were in moves on without care or thought and does not spend some reflective time alone where things might heal a little on both sides.

HI, just wanted to say that I am grateful for your comments.
Sometimes i have felt like I was going mad trying to justify his words and actions, as tho I was the one with the problem, in expecting a certain matter of respect from him.
No, he is not in the least bit spiritual.

It is esy to fall into that trap pirategirl . Luckily I now know that all of my Xs views on me were wrong and also that I am not the person he said I was. I am better and stronger than ever.

THis man is putting you down pirategirl and I wouldnt let him.

I have to say that i do feel stronger, somehow. I still hurt, but a part of me HAS changed, and grown up somehow.

Still no papers thru. Also have to prepare for my inlaws visit over easter, to ex's house, obv me not included, I have said he can have dd over the whole of easter as they rarely get a chance to see her .

Sometimes I am too nice.

Far too nice! never mind rewards will come as if your dd wants to go and see her dad she will never be able to say you stopped her going.

Mine dont really want to see my X and that is hard as I get blamed by him.

More positive thoughts coming your way today.

thankyou Glitterfairy. My dd is currently sitting behind me on her keyboard, singing school Jesus songs, into her microphone lol!

My dd also is not keen to go and see her daddy, she doesnt trust or admire him, nor does she like his partner.