Help with relationship

[LostPleaseFind]

I spoke with a friend of mine today about the state of my relationship (it's really not good) and she suggested speaking to councillor at church (we're both Christian and she's also a brilliant friend of mine). I've tried this once before when my partner was struggling and I thought it would help. We stopped going to church and I assumed it was because he was busy and i couldn't manage to go alone as we have two children under 3, but in an argument he threw it in my face that I was the reason that we no longer go and that I embarrassed him by talking to the councillor at church. At the moment I'm really struggling to see any good in our relationship and I'm so beyond lost and to add to my troubles I also have postnatal depression too. Can someone please help me? I don't know what to do x

Have you seen your GP or health visitor about the PN depression? They should be your first port of call. My experience with Christian counsellors has not been good and you will keep bumping into them in church. A bit of distance can be good so why not ask your GP for a referral to a local service such as relate?

I've been to the GP about my PND, it's an ongoing thing and I'm getting help.
I just don't know what to do about my relationship anymore. I'm ignored for days and days....and if we try to have a conversation it ends in a row. I don't feel love or affection from him ever.
I feel like I'm waiting for the man I met to turn up again but he keeps pushing me further and further away. I have no idea anymore. X

Poor you op what a horrible situation when did you notice him changing like this?

Tbh it's been a long time. We didn't have a lot of time to get to know each other before we had our first child. I was pregnant within a month of us meeting. But the biggest change was when we had our second child (maybe slightly before as I found out he was messaging two exes when I was 9 months pregnant and throughout the entire pregnancy he worked away leaving me alone with our first child and I struggle with a painful condition daily). I just found myself more and more alone. And the more I feel like if something happened to me he wouldn't care. Even though I'm the mother of his kids I feel like I'm worthless. It's such an empty feeling. X

You're absolutely not worthless op, its just the way a bad relationship is making you feel. Do you have any family support close by?