Tips for going to mass with 2 year old?

[MochaChocaChino]

I would love to start taking my 2 year old to mass every Sunday with me but the few times I have he's been a too loud and disruptive so have had to leave early or keep stepping outside.

Just wondered if anyone has any tips please?

They offer a children's liturgy session but it's only exclusively for school aged kids

My parents used to take colouring books and toys and sit at the back.

I have taken ds since he was a baby - we are a very child friendly church with toys at the back for kids to play with during the service though.

I take a selection of quiet toys / books in my bag with me. He is 5 now and I make him join in hymns and prayers, and he usually listens to the readings now too but when he was younger I would whip out something from my bag to stop him getting restless.

For me, It was about him getting used to the surroundings and so I could join in the service - at that age he will take very little in so it's more familiarisation. Talk to the wardens / priest before hand too and sound out how child friendly they are.

When ds was little our vicar could see I was getting strsssed by ds niggling so picked him up and continued to talk to us all while holding him. I'm very lucky to have such a child friendly church!

I take my two year old every Sunday (and often on a Monday too for extra familiarity!).

My daughter knows what "shhh" means. I her: 'what do we do at Mass?' and she replies 'shhhh' with her finger over her lip.

Explain to him what's happening, ideally go to a music Mass where he can join in (also helps drown out any outbursts!) and sit near the front. If you have to take him out (either to a cry chapel area or outside the church) make the experience boring so he wants to go back in. There is nothing worse than a 'cry chapel' full of hyper kids and chatting parents not engaging in the Mass.

Although it's not ideal I sometimes bring a small box of raisins and a bag with soft things in. Rustling bags and plastic toys are a no-no. I find that influence is a big factor too, my eldest son will sit through and ignore her whereas my younger son seems to provoke her hence my efforts to take her midweek sometimes if I can whilst they are at school.

Ultimately consistency is the key so stick with it regularly, even if you have a grumpy priest - they have no idea what it's like to be in your shoes and should encourage attendance by being tolerant.

Sticker books and snacks.

Thank you all so much for all your replies.

I will definitely try these all out. I have tried sticker books and snacks before but I think I will try a midweek visit too just to familiarise him and explain what happens.

The more you go, the more they get used to it.

Books (you may end up reading to them throughout the service)
Quiet toys (If it fell from the pew how loud a noise will it make? The exception is vehicles for those who like to play with them, but check what noise they make if rolled along a hard floor)
Snacks and drinks (were my saviour! They can't make a noise with food in their mouths! Decant out of noisy packets into pots. Don't worry about the 'not eating on Mass' thing. As mine grew I took away first the snacks, then changed the milk/juice to water and removed the water by school-age)
Encourage them to dance during music (even Latin chant!) Shakes the figets out.
Slowly introduce what's going on. So soon they will know to stand and watch the procession, stand to sing alleluia, watch the offertory procession, go for a walk so you can receive commmunion. In between they can play quietly/snack.
Bring the toys/snacks out slowly as needed. Don't dump it all on the pew at the beginning of Mass.
If you have tea and coffee after Mass, go! Let your kid run with other kids and eat plenty of biscuits.

A lot depends on your church and your child. Some find it helpful to sit on the front pew. Some kids will always run, in which case you are better at the back so you can catch them in time. Attend the Mass with the most kids, and music, it'll help to drown out the sound of your child.

Do not presume you are being judged.
Your child has as much right to be there as anyone.

I wouldn't take toy cars. My DSs used to run them along the pew which would have been fine, but the boys made loud "vroom vroom" sounds too! Similar problem with toy dinosaurs. Teddies worked much better.

There was a great thread on here years ago on this topic. I can't remember exactly what it was called but there were some great ideas in it. If you search you may be able to find it.

Go to a mass with a children's liturgy so he can escape for a while.
Know that God gave us children as a great gift and nobody minds them being there - noisy or not.
Sit in same place near nice middle aged granny like couples who he'll charm and then they'll play games and be tolerant.
Rice cakes, snacks, drink.
Colouring, stickers, little farm animals, picture books, quiet toys.
Pair up with another parent so you don't feel so embarrassed.

My second son used to stand on the pew shouting very loudly "I hate church, it's boring" from about three and a half. My youngest always made a dash for the altar and started dancing if I hadn't spotted her quickly enough. She thought it was a stage.

We have a special 'church backpack' with toys and books he only gets to play with at church in it. A magnadoodle, a small set of sticklebricks, some model animals and some lacing cards. Aside from that I rely on snacks in a pot, making sure we're near an escape route for desperate times and giving him a (whispered) running commentary so hopefully he gradually builds up an awareness of what's going on. He loves putting money in the collection and lighting candles, so I use those as bribes for good behaviour the rest of the time. I make sure I sit somewhere with a bit of room for him to move around and let him play, but have a zero tolerance approach to wandering off/ any behaviour that disturbs other people. I find it very stressful though and am unconvinced I get any spiritual benefit from attending Mass with him in tow, so quite often leave him at home with my conveniently atheist DH if he's not working .

Yes, make a thing about how church is quiet time and that outdoors is where you let your wriggles out . people are understanding and there's often crying out or mumbles from little ones, you won't be the first!

I agree about getting child involved. We light lots of candles, and watch the choir close up, and listen to the organ. It helps that the church give stickers at communion as an incentive to go up. Plus biscuits after always good. Lacing toys are good I agree.

For me it's vital to take DC to the playground first, and then walk/scoot/cycle to church, so that they will want to have a rest and sit still for a bit. I'm really lucky though as my church has a brilliant children's meeting; I'm fairly sure that I would avoid going if I had to have a stressful hour trying to keep them quiet and still through a standard service.

Are you very keen on that one church, or would you be able to try out others? Some are really child friendly, and there is nothing wrong with trying a few out, if you can, until you find one that works for you both.

Or could you go for only 20m or so? And leave at the same time every week, so that it becomes routine, but it easier all round?

In addition to the great suggestions above, we have a fantastic lift the glass bible which gave hours of entertainment