Any ideas for dealing with a difficult time of year?

[nearlythree]

Later this month it will be a year ago that my dds got v. ill esp. dd2 - this co-incides with her birthday. Then in May it will be another time when I will be remembering her getting very sick, this time the day after ds was born (so this yr his first birthday). In the grand scheme of things it's not really a big deal - we are all here and well - but I've been left very anxious for their future health, and also very angry that my special time with nb ds and indeed all my dcs had been taken away.

I'm wondering if anyone has any ideas for rituals etc that might help me to lay the ghost of the past year and focus on the good things.

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I would write it all down - all the anger, everything you feel, why you feel it, what you feel you have missed out on, - basically everything. Once you have got it all on paper, go out into the garden and burn the letter or the journal, at the same time, making yourself a promise that as the fire consumes the letter/journal so will you allow your heart and soul to be cleansed of all that anger that is holding you captive.

spaceclear.

i wholeheartedly recommend this book:

everything you need to know

you need to clear the painful energy so that you can approach this time with a sense of joy....

oh coolmama...i completely agree...fantastic thing to do...and simple!

Why don't you make some more special times for all of you instead. Go on a special holiday or some magical days out and create new memories in the spirit of moving on.

the other thing that will help is to start each day listing 5 things you are grateful for - could be anything from breakfast you were able to give your children to not losing your temper with a DC - it is a long-term approach, but the more you are able to be grateful for, the less space you have in your heart and soul for anger, resentment or any other negative stuff which just takes up valuable room in your life. Think about all the energy you waste being annoyed at what you didn't have with your DC's and think how much better off you would be if you could take that extra energy and lavish it on them instead.

Thanks sophable, coolmama and ledodgy. I will do the burning ritual, I have a lot to pour out and get rid of. But right now I am in a real state - dh has just started with what looks like a flu-type virus which is how this all started for us last year - dd2 ended up with a lumbar puncture - feel like it's all starting again and am beginning to panic even though atm the dcs are fine.

Am off to write a massive list of all that I am grateful for today to try and get some sort of grip.