Any Pakistani Muslim mums - can you help?

[stramash]

My next door neighbours are a Pakistani muslim family with lots of kids ( doctor, very polite but keep themselves to themselves). I went to introduce myself when we moved in but have not really had any contact with them since . The mum is a SAHM and has told me that she doesn't answer the door during the day.
My dd1 and their dd are exactly the same age(4)and have become friends ( mostly by communicating through a hole in the back fence!).
I have been round and asked their dd for playdates and she has come round the play several times. My dd has never been asked back. It's getting a bit awkward as my dd now asks to go round and play with her friend and doesn't understand why she can't go in. When I go, one of their older kids answers the door and brings their dd out.
My question is, are they likely to have an objection to their dd playing with a non-Muslim child? Are there Pakistani cultural issues I should be aware ?Am I wasting my time trying to encourage a friendship? They certainly don't seem too keen to mix . On the other hand my dd is getting a bit confused and it's sad to see.

has your dd asked her friend?
Why don't you try talking to the mum, invite her round for a cup of tea or something. She may be lonely stuck in on her own all day and she sounds shy.
I can't imagine there are any cultural issues, and if they were racist, I doubt they would allow their dd round to play at yours.

Seems a bit odd, only thing i would say is offering to take your shoes off when going inside (but doesnt seem that you even get that far in so not much use!)

But i did have neighbours once where the wife was known to be a bit funny and never had anyone in her house EVER except for family, and they were neither pakistani or muslim.

I just thought that if she says she doesnt opem the door in the day she may be similar.

dd's friend speaks Urdu at home and her English isn't very good although they manage to communicate in the way that only 4 year olds can.

I have tried asking the mum round too but she said she was "very busy" - that was a while back so might try again.

I still think they don't want their children to mix. All the kids go to private schools and play in their own back garden but never out at the front. The older girls come out for a walk together in the evenings sometimes.

So it's probably a family issue rather than a cultural issue then? The dad has done some strange things recently - such as dumping an old TV and ironing board opposite our house (on a plot of land waiting to be built on) and letting himself into our back garden (he didn't know I was in) to have a look .We'd just had it done and he asked the landscape guys "how much for one exactly the same"!.
Guess there's not much I can do but keep trying...

uuum, that last bit sounds really weird!

You're right ld, now I've written it all down it's pretty obvious that it's just a bit of an unusual family I think! Prob nothing to do with the whole cultural/faith thing at all.

I just wasn't sure if stricter Muslim families might not want their kids to mix... Will stop reading too much into it and just invite their dd round for playdates and see what happens!

hey

im not pakistani but bengali, they're culture is very similar to ours. my mum is one of them mums who have been in this country for god know haw many years but still cant speak english properly. i think that might be an issue, she might not feel comfortable, the fact that she might not speak english properly?

in our family, my mum used to only speak to other bengali families as the area they live in is majority bengalis, but she never minded us bringing friends home, their parents didnt have to ask if their children could come round, we used to bring them in and just play