Orchid. Really feel for you. It's washing powder let him get it. If it's so important to him. You are not the one doing anything wrong here. He is treating you badly. I understand about your vows. However, he made his to you too. I don't remember emotional abuse being part of the vows. Even obey has disappeared from the vows. I second or third the advice about thinking of leaving. What harm is there in just speaking to someone from a woman's organisation? You haven't done anything wrong and it's just a chat. On the other hand it could be the first step towards a new you and your new life. You are so conditioned to this situation it must not because your accepted normal.
I am someone who is nice and helpful and tries hard to help, it's part of my religious beliefs etc. I get put on and relied in and I feel unappreciated. However I am learning to say no. It's not your situation I totally agree, but the first time you stand up for yourself will be strange. You will feel the bad one. You will feel guilty. Then something clicks and you start to feel a bit better. You deserve to feel a bit better. You need to take a small baby step and try to get control of your life and your own happiness. Everyone here is here for you. You are not alone. I realise that I don't have the experience of what you are going through and what I compared it with was so trite, but I hope you can find the courage to look for the life you deserve. It's waiting for you 
Well I finished wrapping about 11.30 last night and did a bit of cleaning. Two loads of washing and went to bed. Dd2 isn't well and suffers from tonsillitis. Hoping it settles down soon before it gets that far. Dd1 was up early and saw the wrapped presents and I thought in my drowsy state she was complaining about her number of gifts compared to her siblings. It's all the same money spent on each though 
I may have got the wrong end of the stick so let's see. Apologies to her if so.
Going to be visiting dad's grave with a small Xmas gift. Not much room and the winds were bad. Not looking forward to it. I just burst into tears. He's a few rows from my grandparents and that was hard. This time last year he was in theatre and looking forward to the future. Then it all went downhill from about two o'clock.
Be happy, I'm happy. He said to me. It's my mantra.
I think they still see you and he will be annoyed with me crying when there is life to be lived and enjoyed. I want him to visit and turn the TV over to what he wants, oblivious to what we were watching. I want him to help my dc with homework. I want him to make his Sunday lunches. I want his wisdom. I just want him back.