I'm in a totally confused state about my sirituality which I always thought i was quite solid about.
I was raised as C of E - nothing too strong - my mum encouraged us to believe in God, we went to sunday school that kind of thing. As i became a teenager I got very disillusioned with it all and decided that religion was a very controlling and destructive force and although I believed in something, it was more of a spiritual thing - spirits, ghosts, good and evil etc.
Now....I feel drawn back towards christianity but have some very conflicting feelings on it. For example, whilst I believe in God & Jesus, I don't necessarily see eye to eye with the entire bible - I am an unmarried mother living in sin with her partner, I don't have an issue with homosexuality and I still have very stong beliefs in the spiritual church and the paranormal and some pagan type festivals. I want to start attending church again with my mum but i feel like I would be a hypocrite if I did. I'm just not sure where all this has come from or what is driving that need and whether its right to attend church just to fulfil that need and explore my faith rather than knowing 100% that christianity is my choice and surrendering all my other beliefs!!
Anyone else gone through this?