A new Christian prayer thread for summer...

[Tuo]

This thread is a safe space where anyone - regular, occasional visitor, lurker, committed Christian or waverer - is welcome to come and leave their prayers in the knowledge that they will be prayed for. No problem is too big or small to share here, and if you just want to come and say 'hi', that's fine too.

Looking back through our previous thread, we pray in particular for:

abbsismyhero - for help with her anxiety and relationship with an abusive ex.

amberlight - for her work supporting people with autism, and for health and happiness for her and her family.

Aphie - for her fiancé's family following the sudden death of his uncle, and for her anxiety.

BlackEyedSusan - for all that she has to juggle as a single mum, for her DC, and for her mum.

Bluetinkerbell - five years on from the loss of her baby DD, Sterre.

Cocoa button - for issues around the safety of her DS2.

Dontbesilly - for strength as she grieves the loss of her dad, for her mum and the rest of her family, for her DD's school issues, and for Dont's own health.

drspouse - for full recovery from a recent chest infection and for happiness and a warm welcome in her new church.

DutchOma - with gratitude for all she does to support people on this thread and elsewhere, and for her to find peace and joy in her life following the loss of her beloved Bob.

EdithSimcox - for her to find joy and fulfilment in her faith and understanding and support from her DP.

ethelb - for her MIL who has blood clots in her leg and suspected sarcoma, and for all who love and care for her.

FaithLoveandHope - for her anxiety and depression to lift and for her to be able to avoid falling into despair and self-harm, and for her relationship with her DSD.

greyscalealmond - for her depression to be alleviated and for family relationships.

HardyLeodicean - especially for her FIL and for a recently-bereaved friend.

IHopeYouStepOnALegoPiece - for her friend's pregnancy.

LarrytheCucumber - for family members involved in fostering and adoption, for the DC involved, and for their birth parents and all involved in their ongoing care.

LifeofBriony - for her relationship with her DH and for her DD's friend, J, who is in a coma after a seizure.

LittleBootsTheBabe - for healing and happiness for an acquaintance of hers.

MadHairDay - for her health, and for her whole family at a time of change and uncertainty.

Malefriendproblem - for her relationship with an old friend which has turned sour, and for her DD who suffers from anxiety.

Newmamatobe - for her new life with her baby DD and free of alcohol.

niminypiminy - who will be ordained very soon.

passportmess - for her friend who has schleroderma.

Paulat2112 - for friends who are experiencing relationship difficulties.

PositiveAttitude - for her whole family, but especially her DD1 who has been depressed, her pregnant DD2, her mum and dad, her DH and his work. Above all, we pray for PA herself, who is always there for others when they need her, for her studies, and for a potential house-move.

QoF - for her relationship with her DH.

SESthebrave - for all who are grieving over the loss of a friend from church, for work-related decision-making, and for the friend who was Best Man at her wedding whose relationship has broken down following his wife's infidelity.

SouthernLassie - for her relationship with a colleague.

sweetandsour - for her auntie who has been diagnosed with cancer, and for her mum and all who love and care for her auntie.

Teallove - for her to feel free to move on following the breakdown of a relationship.

Trazzletoes - for her 6-year-old DS who has previously had cancer and who is now unwell again - praying for a swift (and hopefully reassuring) diagnosis and for Trazzletoes and all who love him at this worrying time.

Tweebee - for her DS to settle at nursery.

And also thinking of friends who haven't visited for a while, who who pop in only occasionally, including ALittleFaith, Anjelica27, Kaykat, JugglingFromHereToThere, ktef, legohurtswhenyoustandonit, Pandora97, shortscotty, weegiemum and others.

And, as always, prayers for anyone I've forgotten (with apologies), for all who lurk but don't post, and for newbies who may not have posted yet.

This prayer was posted by Edith on the old thread, and I really like it and would like it to stand for what this new thread is all about:

All that we are, Lord,
we place into your hands.
All that we do, Lord,
we place into your hands.

Everything we work for,
we place into your hands.
Everything we hope for,
we place into your hands.

The troubles that weary us,
we place into your hands.
Thoughts that disturb us,
we place into your hands.

Each that we pray for,
we place into your hands.
Each that we care for,
we place into your hands. Amen

bes praying for both your chn xx

thanks.

Praying for both your children and for you too.

I am writing this on my PC, rather than my phone, which means that I have the prayer in the OP, which is nice. Thank you also, Dutchoma, for the prayer you posted two nights ago, I think for PA, but so generally relevant.

bes, my prayers too for you and your children.

passport, thanks. It is kind of odd; becuase of everything I generally feel adrift from the world in terms of what is 'normal' in relationships and family.

I had a really compelling dream last night - I have been having several, which seem to be linked in some way, but last night, it was so compelling I woke right up, and thought 'of course!'. It was like my brain was working out something at a completely different level than my day to day life. Before I went to bed, I did specifically pray for understanding, though, and I guess understanding comes in different ways.

Dreams can be very powerful Cocoa, make sure you take heed of what they tell you.

I am going to take a bit of time to write it in my journal tonight

ah a pre-emptive strike by the prayer thread.... there is a mega meltdown going on.

bes

and prayers for all on thread struggling with anything at home, family or with their health. Xxx

so, another day, another email.

Yesterday I Told a half truth / lie by omission to dh yesterday because I thought it would be easier/ make him less cross. He found out and is fuming. I feel guilty as I believe in honesty. He says he can't belive a word I say - which is not true. He says he is hurt- I've said sorry but he's still cross - generLly this morning. So sad and anxious. Please keep me in your prayers xx

May God bless you. He knows the goodness in your heart.

There is one thing which is true - there are no absolutes. Always/never; cannot trust a word/trust everything - these are black and white ways of looking at the world. The truth is somewhere in between. A kind and compassionate person would look for that truth. And seek to communicate, to understand together, to forgive and accept their own part.

Sweetheart, you are living on eggshells and when you try to make your life easier, your husband is using that against you, rather than trying to understand.

There are mistakes we make out of fear, anxiety, whatever reason - that is human. But then there is also what Tara Brach calls 'the second arrowing' where we attack ourselves for making those mistakes. Does that make sense? In short, by focusing on the second arrowing and feeling bad, we are not addressing the fear or other underlying feeling that led to the behaviour we now regret.

If you were not living in fear of your DH, you would not seek to appease him or compromise your sense of truth and honesty. For as long as your H creates a situation where you are the guilty party, no matter what you do, you are always going to be compromised.

It is a long, long road out of a psychologically damaging marriage, and you may not wish to walk it. But do not add another arrowing by beating yourself up for how you cope. That perpetuates the abuse.

I know nothing about Tara Brach and have not read anything she wrote. But Cocoa is so right and her appraisal of a 'second arrowing' is amazing. She is also right, I think, in that you are in an abusive relationship where 'everything' is your fault and you are walking on eggshells to appease your husband's anger. As Cocoa says, it is a long road out of an abusive relationship and you are already very isolated and down, so it will be very hard and you may not want to walk that road.
In the meantime could you try some simple techniques like Emile Coué's 'Every day in every way I am getting better and better' or say to yourself: "No, not everything is my fault, I am a good person". Keep the positivity running in your mind, don't believe the negative statements of your husband in. Believing them is the second arrowing Tara Brach speaks about. Detach yourself from what he says, this is the first thing you can do to counteract an abusive relationship.
Keep talking here as people like Cocoa speak a lot of sense and we will able to support you as well as pray for you.

Thank you cocoa and oma for your words of support. I know things are not right and I want them to change- just not sure how to do that. I don't want to give up on my marriage for so many reasons I love my H so so much, I don't want to break up our family and hope and pray things will improve. There are good and bad days and I really believe in my vows. My mental and physical health can't cope with turmoil.

That is all so understandable Orchid. Trouble with those vows is: is he keeping his? Is he keeping his promise to cherish and love you? To share everything with you, for better and for worse? In sickness and in health? In spite of all that try and calm your mind, it is the only thing you have total control over. People often say: "You can think what you like" and that is absolutely true. You can think what you like. So you 'think' what is true, that you are a good person who does her utmost best to stick to her vows made before God. God Himself will be your helper

so you would have been in trouble with him if you told the truth, and now you are in trouble for not. you are going to be in trouble whatever.

I have no problem with lying for protection. if someone has to lie to be safe, it is not the person who is lying that is at fault.

if he is abusive, you might not be able to save it. he has broken his vows already. he is not loving and cherishing. you would not be breaking up the marriage. he has broken it already. For god's sake do not stay somewhere where you are abused for mistaken view of what god wants from marriage. yes work at it when it is tough or difficult... but when it is abusive, no-way.

I truly want my marriage to work- he has never physically hurt me and I don't think he ever would. It's just the crossness and mean words that hurt me. I pray God sends his love to my family x

marriage is a partnership. if one of the partnership is not invested in making it work... then your choice is to leave or live with the abuse. mean words are abuse. they are not loving and cherishing.

Love is something beautiful and to be treasured, cherished and nurtured. God made the world in love and we are surrounded by its beauty. We live in that love and knowledge of God's love, which is shown every day in the beauty of the sky or flowers or raindrops. Even when there are natural disasters, God's love shines through in the humanity which seeks to help and does not look on, does not blame, nor hate.

When you give someone love, you give them the greatest gift you can. But if that is not met with love, nor sustained and nurtured by love, the question is how long can you keep giving and at what cost?

Sorry to gatecrash in here once again. Please please pray with us. Baby Neo has one last chance. The Drs will be taking off ventilation over the next few days and have said that if Neo does not cope they will not be doing anything further for him. We will not give up at this point. We are still praying for a miracle. DD2 and her boyfriend are really struggling, understandably. The boyfriend has suffered badly with depression in the past and he is finding this incredibly hard to cope with. DD2 has been through so much over the past few years, this would just be too much for one person to bear on top of all that she has been through. DH flies off to Cambodia for a month on Monday. We had considered postponing that, but there are so many complications if that doesn't happen, which means I will be here alone and trying to keep everything together for everyone else, when I know I am falling apart myself. So bloody hard. So bloody unfair!!!

off to the library... wish me luck.

prayes pa

Praying PA. Nothing else we can do. For you dh, your other children and for dd2 and her boyfriend. Praying for Neo as well, of course and for the medical team. It is indeed very unfair.

Orchid would he consider going to marriage counselling with you? I am praying for your family.

PA I am fervently praying for baby Neo that he makes the transition off the ventilator. If it this does not work, I pray that his family cope with this passing. I am away from home on holiday but I've identified a church for Sunday and I will light a candle for him tomorrow. X

pa praying for you, the family and the doctors treating dgs.

passport I don't think he would- not at the moment. I'm hoping my cbt for my anxiety will help me. Enjoy your holiday.

PA - praying for you, your family and all the medical team. Life seems so unfair sometimes.