'You are responsible for your own happiness'

[nearlythree]

Is this true?

Yes and no.

I agree yes and no. Outisde events beyond your control can make you unhappy but you can sort certain things out yourself that are making you unhappy.

THere is a fabulous book about this called authentic happiness by Martin Selligman and he ahs a web site too where you can take tests and get advice on your happiness. There is an awful lot of research in this field now and lots of very useful adn practical tips on being happy and positive.

I have lots of outside events making me unhappy, but I am basically happy at the mo. When I was depressed, I could be enjoying myself, but unhappy at the same time.

so the question for me is, could I have controlled my own depression? I think the answer is yes, if someone had shown me how to do it. Now that I have recovered from depression, it doesnt scare me so much, and I think I might be able to cure myself if it happened again. Or maybe Im just kidding myself. Id have to get depression and test the theory before I could give a definite answer to this question.

One thing is certain, if you tell a depressed person that they are responsible for their own happiness without giving them detailed help on achieving happiness, it wouldnt be very constructive.

Surely only a nutcase would be 'happy' all the time? I think that the secret to a 'happy' life is to be generally content with what you have, but always aim for a little more.
Money doesn't buy happiness, either, but money worries make people depressed and sometimes desperate. It's important to manage finances to avoid excessive/unmanageable debt, though this will mean different things to different people.
So if you are 'content' then when life's knocks come along (as they do for everyone from time to time) you can cope with them - they don't overwhelm you.
That's my philosophy, anyhow!

yes

It was only when i actually accepted this that i was able to find happiness. I know this to be rational because you may be happy at the occurance of an event, whereas i maybe disappointed or even aghast at the very same event. I think it was Shakespeare that said 'Nothing is either good or bad, but thinking make it so'.

Therefore, i know its how i see the event that is creating my emotions about it, whether that event be my life as a whole or each tiny part of it.

I have found it incredibly empowering and freeing to understand this and echoing the other posts here that to be 'happy' all the time is odd. However the point is not the 'happiness' per se, but the 'emotion' yes, i do create and are responsible for all my emotions, including happiness. My favourite book when i was learning this and wider REBT?CBT techniques was The Meditations by Marcus Aureluis.

It is that feeling of being able to control your emotions which is the key and taking responsibility for your life. Blaming others and seeing them as responsible is the easy option but in the end makes you think you cant do anything about things whereas thinking you can and that change is possible opens up huge opportunities (also scarey ones that actually you have done this or that to yourself).

I too like the meditations by the way and also there is a fabulous book by Antony De Mello called awareness which contains much wisdom on this subject.