Just wanted some thoughts on the situation described below. It's a bit long and it's kind of a way to get things off my chest without offending anyone I actually know!
I'm a Christian with an agnostic husband. I have been a regular attendee at my CofE church that I've been an active member of for the last five years (been on the PCC, done fundraising, helped organise social events, worked with the food bank and night shelter). I got married there last year.
This year I have become pregnant and it's been a really tough pregnancy with lots of complications, which has made me down and withdrawn a lot of the time. I've had little energy and not been in a good place.
One of the things the church preaches about it the importance of attending and the need for good pastoral care and care of parishioners. For the last two months I haven't felt able to deal with the congregation in large numbers so I have either not been going or going to another, much smaller CofE church, where I can just do the service and then leave.
Last Sunday my husband persuaded me that it might be good to go back to the original church and see how it was, I think he has been trying to help me find ways to lift my mood.
When I got there I felt a little uneasy and then afterwards a couple of people spoke to us. In the conversation there were some comments about 'Oh I suppose you've been too busy working to come' and 'Haven't you turned into strangers'. The rest of it was pretty superficial (weather, holidays, did you enjoy the sermon, etc).
I left feeling a more hurt and angry than when I arrived. I guess part of me feels that after all that talk of pastoral care I feel kind of let down. I know that no one can read minds so don't know that I'm in a bad place but I thought that maybe people might have asked 'How are you?' or maybe even congratulated me on being pregnant (I'm six months so it shows!) rather than getting digs in about my non-attendance.
Anyway, it's rather a non-issue really but it has been upsetting me a bit all week. I know Christians are in no way perfect but I thought that people I'd worked with, prayed with and taken an active interest in for all this time might have reacted a bit differently to the situation. I don't know whether to give up going there and find another church or stay put and tough it out.