elder complaining about my children in church

[elliejjtiny]

We go to a small Baptist/evangelical church, 18 adults and 6 children. The sunday school is at a separate time to the services so on sunday morning the dc are all there. 5 of them are mine, 1 belongs to someone else. Children are aged between 13 month and 9 years. The older ones (7 and 9) sit with books, colouring etc. Younger ones have a box of quiet toys at the back and we try and keep them as quiet as possible. Any crying/arguing we take them out but sometimes they make happy noises and that's ok as far as I'm concerned. They are a lot quieter than in a lot of other churches I've been to but they're not silent, they are children after all.

One of the elders has had a moan to everyone except us and the other parents about the noise. He has decided to flounce off to another church where there are no children and he's going to make a big announcement at the prayer meeting tonight. One of the other members phoned me today to give me a bit of an advanced warning and to say that he doesn't agree with the elder. I don't know what the others think.

I don't know what to do. I'm tempted to move churches myself but this one is so close and I don't drive [lazy emoticon]. Also I think why should I move, when we haven't done anything wrong. Has anyone else experienced this? The ironic thing is that he keeps praying in church for more people to come. He doesn't seem to realise that if more families start coming the children will be louder than ours because they won't be used to keeping quiet for an hour and a half.

Sorry predictive txt Jesus said not Jessica!

Leave the kids at home.

goblin

I have reported you Goblin
Please don't make antagonistic and inflammatory remarks.
I get it - you don't have a faith, and believe that all of us who do are deluded, but being disrespectful is rude and unnecessary.

I made a perfectly reasonable remark. I am attacking no- one personally.

I find it sad that the existence of a church depends on the influence it can have over children who have not fully developed their reasoning faculties.

Why should I have respect for faith?

Because people have the right to believe in what they want,
I don't make antagonist remarks about your lack of faith, and respect your right to your own opinion, however you seem to seek out threads where posters have a different view, and then make remarks that are not constructive or necessary.

Actually the church does not uphold my right to have no faith.

My children are indoctrinated at school, the right to do that is upheld in law, unelected clergy create laws which I have to abide to. I am told that I am a sinner, that I will burn in hell, indeed that my newborn babies are born sinners.

Which bits of that is respecting my right to have no faith?

You are quite right to stay put op. Don't go off and find a more welcoming church. Let those who wish to flounce off do so, and work to make your church welcoming for families.

If you don't want to stay put, I'd suggest seeing there is a Calvary Chapel near you. We're all child friendly

Ignore Goblin, been reported on a lot of threads all over MN for putting the most inflammatory remarks possible on every thread they hop on. And showing astounding ignorance about Christianity.

The reporting didn't have much effect here did it.

There are lots of Churches that welcome children. In fact I've never heard of one so unwelcoming - including the one that only does 1662, is posh and at the top of a hill.
I don't think this Church will survive if it pushes out such a large part of their congregation.

Won't take MNHQ long to click that you're the same person who's been reported numerous times a day on various threads.

We were expected to sit quietly at mass from toddlerdom, and did, without books, sweets, toys, or conversation. It was only 45 mins though

I can't say it gave me much of a taste for going to church - I never go now. I do believe a bigger church with a breakout room for kids would be more fulfilling for your children.

No big Dorrit there are people quite rightly calling goblin out for what she is. Being a Christian does not mean sitting placidly by while someone hostile takes cheap shots without trying to intelligently engage with the debate. There are plenty of lovely atheists here who manage to debate in a respectful manner and who's opinions are valued before you try claiming that we don't like hearing opposing views. If goblin can't take it then maybe she should think before she posts. I suspect however that she has got exactly the response she wanted.

I'm afraid I agree with this chap to some extent, but your church is doing its members a disservice by not having a bible-themed creche going on in a separate room at the same time as the main service.

People go to church primarily to be ministered to by the Lord (via His servant at the front) and it is exceptionally frustrating - indeed pointless - when that learning is persistently interrupted by the babble of small children.

Your younger kids are not learning anything about Christ by sitting through an adult sermon so I agree you and dh should take it in turn to stay at home with the younger kids.

From a Christian point of view wouldn't you want to put yourself second to the fellowship who are trying to worship and learn? It's very entitled of you to ignore the fact that your children are making things difficult.

You could always spend some of what you give to God each week on a taxi to a church which offers a separate room where the toddlers are taught about God whilst the adults can listen in peace.

Have you prayed about this?

I feel sorry for Goblin.

Your younger kids are not learning anything about Christ by sitting through an adult sermon

Maybe the sermon isn't teaching them anything. But those who have ears to hear will learn more about Christ from their presence than from their absence. Its really not hard to filter out occasional noises if you aren't focused on being grumpy about it. And what the children learn about being a community where all from 9 months to 90 years are included, rather than shunted off to a "children's" space which they can only emerge from into a "grownups" space when they leave childish things behind, is invaluable.

If they (including the pastor) don't want children at their church, it will close soon enough. I would try and find another church (of many) that actually welcome children.

Wow, I would definitely find a new church. There are about 6 young children at our church and they are actively encouraged to participate in the worship with flags and dancing at the front. After the worship we take it in turns to run a separate children's church so the grown ups can listen in peace and the children can enjoy themselves whilst learning.