What are your opinions of feathers, songs etc?

[Doonuts]

Hi all, I am currently going through a very stressful time. After leaving a very stressful situation a white feather floated down in front of me and circled at my feet before flying away. It was quite distinctive as it was square. I was so happy as i've always believed this was a spirit of a loved one reminding me that they are watching over me. DH just laughed and told me to stop being weak minded (he was very stressed too). Anyway about an hour later I returned home and said feather was sitting on my grass! Since then Ive heard numerous songs that I havent heard in years played over and over again on the radio (my grandmother and uncles songs) I'd love to hear other peoples opinions on this.

I understand that it's nice to imagine that passed on love ones send messages of comfort via feathers when we are going through difficult times but if that was the case then sub-Saharan Africa would be perpetually knee deep in feathers wouldn't it given how comparatively difficult their lives are?

I'm quite shocked at the insensitive reply to this post especailly given that this is a religion and spirituality board! You have no idea what I'm going through so how dare you try to trivialise my problems by comparing them to sub saharan africans. I dont think I'll be back here again.

It's the philosophy board which is the process of discerning what's real, you were interested in wether these feathers could actually be coming from passed on loved ones and asked for thoughts, and I gave you my first thought. How come people in the third world are not overrun with white feathers? If you get angry/upset that easily then your theory is not standing up to even minor scrutiny and probably needs analysis.

A bird dropped the feathers.

Doonuts I'm sorry that you are going through a stressful time at the moment. I've heard of the angel feather idea and although I'm sceptical I know it brings immense comfort to people. If you are noticing songs on the radio that were loved by people that you love then that again is positive and helps bring into focus that you are loved no matter how stressed you are in the situation you are in at the moment.

This part of MN can be a bit like fight club at times and it isn't personal. Anyone with faith or interested in the spiritual gets much the same treatment so don't take it personally.

Signs.
They can be comforting. Comfort is important.
Are they always 'real'? Who knows?
I value the comfort. I think comfort might come from a positive source.

I do find myself inwardly scoffing at the 'angel' stuff people spout these days. I met an 'archangel practitioner' and despite being trained in respecting other people's religious views, it was all I could do not to challenge her on it. You can go on courses for this stuff! It seems ridiculous to me but I'm from a low-church Protestant background and not viewing impartially.

I don't deny there are angels. Some of them are quite scary, if you believe what you read in the Bible. I just marvel at the people who think they can 'channel angel energy' or access archangels at the drop of a hat. Perhaps I'll gain more understanding later, and become one of them myself.

"how dare you try to trivialise my problems by comparing them to sub saharan africans"

She wasn't trivialising your problems. She wasn't comparing your problems to Africans' problems at all.

Her point was that if angels indeed dropped feathers to help people in difficult times, the entire Sub-Saharan Africa would be knee-deep in feathers (in places where the entire population is in difficulty, every day of their lives).

Meanwhile, you say...

"DH just laughed and told me to stop being weak minded"

Did you ask him how dare he tell you what he thinks, or is that a privilege you reserve strangers on MN whose opinions you have actively sought?

Doonuts

I am glad you found comfort in seeing your white feather and hearing the songs you associate with loved ones. Like others, I don’t think that someone who has died has brought about these experiences, at least not in the strict cause and effect sense of science. Nevertheless I do regard such experiences as significant.

In stressful times, and particularly after bereavement, there is a tendency for the human mind to engage in magical thinking. It restores a sort of order and meaning to the world when we least feel in control. Joan Didion wrote a book called The Year of Magical Thinking about her response to her husband’s death and the mix of rational and irrational thoughts she experienced.

The psychotherapist Jung has written extensively about what he calls synchronicities or meaningful coincidences. (I have just been reading about his ideas on synchronicity so your post describing feather and song synchronicities creates a synchronicity for me!)

In particular, Jung recalls the unusual appearance of a golden scarab at his office window just after the patient he was seeing at the time spoke of dreaming of such an insect. Jung was able to catch the insect and hand the patient ‘her’ scarab. The experience affected both of them profoundly. His patient was subsequently able to escape the overly rational mindset she had been trapped in.

So this kind of associative dreamlike thinking can be very healing. Often what is important in life is not so much what happens but the stories we tell ourselves to explain what happens, the interplay between inner and outer worlds. It is because our feelings and actions are influenced by these stories that techniques like CBT are useful.

Restricting our notion of what constitutes reality to the prosaic unfolding of the external material world without reference to inner experience is not always helpful.

When my DS was little I used to read a book called No Matter What by Debi Gliori to him at bedtime, the last lines of which are:

Small said, "But what about when we are dead and gone, will you love me then, does love go on?"

…Large (replied) "Look at the stars, how they shine and glow, some of the stars died a long time ago. Still they shine in the evening skies, for you see…love like starlight never dies…

I think this is a truth well worth embracing.

It doesn't matter what our views are, you are having a hard time, you saw a feather and it gave you comfort. That's all that matters.
If I'm having a tough time and praying helps then it doesn't matter what anybody else thinks. That's how faith works - it doesn't need validation from anybody else.

It doesn't matter what our views are, you are having a hard time, you saw a feather and it gave you comfort. That's all that matters.

I would like to second this. I wittered on earlier trying to put your experiences into some sort of context but the above is actually the important take home message!

Out I thought your post was fascinating.

Me too.

I think it's important to be sensible in what explanations we give. So, to see a bird's feather and be aware that you are thinking about people you care about is one thing. To think that an angel sent it, or that the universe is somehow colluding with play lists is another.

HI there Doonuts,

Here on mumsnet, it's easy to be dismissed or discouraged by those posters who really have never had an experience such as the one you describe, so ridicule seems the only way that they are able to continue being part of an online community where becoming condescending and 'right' about everything that either does or doesn't exist is seen as an important part of life online.

So, that out of they way.....I absolutely salute your braveness on posting here, and in my lifetime I had several encounters with beings no longer here, and also angels with feathers and coins, and songs and other forms of communication.

It's been my experience also that our loved ones do look over us, it's up to us to notice when they are attempting communcation as they don't have mobile phones to text us from the heaven realms...they have to use their lifeforce energy in other ways now that they no longer reside in a physical body.

I wish you love, and most of all to find truth within your own heart, even when everyone around you, and sometimes online want to tell you it's all fake. I don't think it is, and it can open us up to seeing outside the programmed matrix that we are a part of.

Best Wishes,
IB x

Hi Doonuts - I hope you do come back to see the support you are getting on the thread.

A few years back I had a very stressful job that nearly caused me to have a breakdown. On one day I had to go in to a difficult meeting where I knew no matter what I said or did, I would be wrong and basically would get completely anhialated (sorry for spelling). I was dreading it, I parked in car park, got out of car and as I stepped out right by my foot was a feather, as I noticed it a tremendous sense of "all will be well" come over me and I felt great peace. I thanked the feather and went into my office. There was an email waiting for me telling me the meeting had been cancelled, for which I felt great relief, and the meeting was never rescheduled.

I work in a rural area with loads of trees/birds so no surprise to find a feather - was it a sign? I think it was that day, especially with the feeling of peace and calm that came with it.

And finally, in my opinion you are not weak minded, just open to what is around us and able to appreciate it. Keep an open mind and you may be surprised at what happens :) and if you can, look up some of IndigoBarbie's posts they are very interesting!

Here on mumsnet, it's easy to be dismissed or discouraged by those posters who really have never had an experience such as the one you describe, so ridicule seems the only way that they are able to continue

Nobody ridiculed anyone, apart from the OP's husband who called her weak minded.

OP asked for opinions and headinhands gave a very reasonable one. And made a good point that no one has yet addressed. Why isn't sub saharan Africa knee deep in feathers? Have the angels abandoned this region, or could it be that they're not overrun with sodding seagulls like we are?

Perhaps the OP should have worded her post differently, along the lines of "this is what I want to believe because it makes me feel warm and fuzzy inside and I would like other people who believe what I believe to tell me I'm right."

Would have made for a boring threat though.