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Original poster

Baptism for non religious reasons?

207 replies

Penguin2 · 01/05/2004 21:41

Has anyone out there had their children baptised for non religious reasons, eg to get them into a school or to provide them with a broader social life? Are you prepared to talk about it?

OP posts:
BadHair · 02/05/2004 16:59

I think I'm confusing everyone - when I think of religious schools I think of CofE ones, which is what I'm supposed to be. I'd baptise my dses into that if it meant a markedly better education, even though I don't believe a word of it.
I certainly wouldn't attempt to get my dses into a RC school or one of any other religion - just too complicated and it would be easier to move house to find a better school.
Luckily my local school takes everyone as its the only one in a small town.

DelGirl · 02/05/2004 17:03

same goes for me - CofE I mean - I wouldnt send my child to a RC school either - though I'm sure they're fine but I personally wouldn't!

hercules · 02/05/2004 17:06

That's not the point though is it. If you dont believe any of it and are lying then you are not supporting the schools ethos!
What will you do when the children have their holy communion?
when your child comes home from school and talks about the "truth" as taught to them by their teachers how will you then explain it's not the truth" and you dont believe any of it?

BadHair · 02/05/2004 17:11

CofE schools don't have holy communion and the religious ethos is not as dogmatic as RC schools, so it wouldn't be an issue.
I would steer well clear of those sort of schools as I don't regard them as providing a good education.
I meant a school that used religion merely as a selection criteria (and there are many) not as a tool to indoctrinate children.

hercules · 02/05/2004 17:14

The cof e church does though!! And if the other parents were believers then all their children would be having their holy communion.
Ds goes to one of those schools which select purely on religion and scores very highly every year academically.

sexgoddess · 02/05/2004 17:14

Both mine are baptised as we are RC but they don't go to a catholic school.

DelGirl · 02/05/2004 17:15

Like I said - i'm agnostic and am open to many views (I hope). I went to a CofE school and, although we did have religious studies, it wasn't all about christianity, other religions were discussed openly too and we were taught to be tolerant of all those differing views. I wouldnt mind if my child was taught that, would you? I know we can teach things at home but if it's a case of a better school (but where they are aware that I am agnostic) then I'll send my child there......

hercules · 02/05/2004 17:15

Not ds but the school!!

hercules · 02/05/2004 17:17

I dont object to being honest to the school and saying you are agnostic. What annoys me is having your child baptised when you dont believe any of it just to get them in to a school who i accepting you on the grounds that you believe.

hercules · 02/05/2004 17:17

In ds rc school he learns all about other religions and respect etc.

DelGirl · 02/05/2004 17:19

I understand that Hercules and wasn't taking it personally. I'm off to watch songs of praise now, so catch you all later. Joke!

hercules · 02/05/2004 17:20

Getting some ideas eh del girl to say if your questioned?

hercules · 02/05/2004 17:20

you're

BadHair · 02/05/2004 17:27

Delgirl, I think you and I are thinking of the same kind of schools.

Nutcracker · 02/05/2004 17:28

Don't forget, some people can't move to get their kids into a better school.
So what are they suposed to do then ?? Send there kids to a crap school.

hercules · 02/05/2004 17:29

No, get em baptised nuttY

DelGirl · 02/05/2004 17:33

LOL ) Hercules!

Yes, I think we are BadHair

Hulababy · 02/05/2004 17:33

Well, according to the private v state school debate - the answer was yes! I can't see that this debate should be any different.

BadHair · 02/05/2004 17:34

Hercules, by holy communion you mean religious assembly? I went to a CofE school where we had religious assemblies, and I swear that not one child believed a word of it.
There again I lived in a rural area and it was the only school for miles around, so if anyone wanted an alternative education they had to face a 25 mile bus journey. Perhaps because of that it was less dogmatic than other CofE schools.

hercules · 02/05/2004 17:57

I was thinking more of confirmation rather than assemblies and schools where baptism and believeing is expected.

Original poster
Penguin2 · 02/05/2004 18:38

Just to say (as I started this thread and haven't said anything yet!) dh and I are lapsed RC and I have thought church schools weren't worth the bother (per se) but ds1 and 2 go to a C of E school (coincidentally - we live in a village and it is the only school they could go to realistically) and I have been pleasantly surprised by the positive effect the religious ethos has on my kids. Thinking ahead to secondary school, I have been wondering if getting them baptised is the way to continue this ethos when they are older. My 6 yr old has even asked if he can be baptised! (But it would have to be in the RC church as that is our background) I think I would take them to church a bit if they were baptised, but I have to admit, I don't really believe in it and that is why I feel hypocritical and undecided.

OP posts:
glitterfairy · 03/05/2004 08:09

Have been having a similar conversation this week about secondary schools. I was brought up by aethiests and went to church of my own accord since eleven got baptised myself at 27 and then confirmed. Have gone to chursch for years before kids and then after when SAHM but then went back to work full time and started to watn my sundays back. Now do not watn to go to church simply to get them into school as it was always my choice and also now do not believe in church god anymore but am a humanist. So.......... am thinking of writing to the church school telling them all this and saying that leading a good and christian life should not be judged on church attendance as that is simply turning up on a sunday and is a meaningless measurement, I am also going to quote various parts of christs teachings. We will see if this works. Hercules must say that just because children go to religious school does not mean that you dont have conversations about religion where the ideas of home vary from those at school. I often disagree with what is taught in school and make sure my children know it on a range of issues. I do not think this is confusing simply an example of the richness and diversity of thought we all share.

donnie · 03/05/2004 09:35

well, this discussion has not moved on at all.It is hypocritical and also parasitic to lie about and exploit something you 'don't believe in' for your own ends and it sets an appalling example to the children, implying it is fine to lie and pretend about something incredibly serious as long as it means you get what you want. And using dismissive , flippant language such as 'heads at the font pronto' is offensive and disrespectful to people like me who take my faith and that of my dd seriously. As far as I am concerned if you are not religious and don't go to Church then you should not complain about being denied places in religious schools. What support do you give the Church? How are you embracing and trying to live by the rules of the Church and its faith? how do you contribute to the maintenace of the church school system? it's not all take take take you know! in this life we have to actually give something back too.

glitterfairy · 03/05/2004 09:43

THanks for that donnie! What other life is there?

Beetroot · 03/05/2004 09:52

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