How important is faith when teaching Sunday School?

[soundedbetterinmyhead]

Hello - I am new to this board, although not MN generally. I have been brought up CofE, DH is CofE Christian. However, as I have got older (late 40s now), I am reconciling myself to the fact that I don't have a Christian faith, however much respect I have for the Church and the people in it. I feel ashamed of this but I just can't make myself believe something that my head says isn't true. I have read the bible and done the courses - I feel that I have really tried through my whole adult life.

Anyway, we are regulars at the local church and volunteer various roles. I have been down as a helper for the Sunday school for years but I have been asked to take it on as the leader wants to retire and I am seen as the obvious choice.

I just don't feel I can do it anymore, lead or help. I already find that I have to edit some of the sessions which I cannot teach without feeling dishonest to the children. For example, recently we were asked to do a session on how children should trust Jesus to keep them safe and I just couldn't do it because I don't believe that trusting Jesus does keep people safe (whereas knowing safety rules online / how to cross the road / that your body is your own etc. does help keep you safe)

I want to help the church - I have a great deal of love and respect for the organisation and I want to help the children make good decisions in their lives. If I say no, I am afraid that they will not understand why. If I tell them the truth, I am worried that I will be treated with suspicion and people will wonder why I still turn up every week. Also this is very private to me. When I talk with DH, his view is that I do have faith, I just don't know it. I don't agree with this though - I think he needs to feel that way about me.

I don't know what to do and would welcome some advice.

I think if you don't feel you can do it it's important not to force it. You need to speak to someone - the vicar, or the person with responsibility for children's work - and explain.

FWIW I think this is very common. I have had a similar issue and the vicar called it a "dry patch". I think it happens to lots of people, either gradually or because something happens to trigger it.

What I would say is that I found it helpful to stay involved at church. Sometimes I think if you're doing too much in church you're giving out constantly and there's nothing going in, if you see what I mean. I think you have to accept teaching and care from others in order to remain able to give these things to others.

I found myself in a very similar position OP although I am married to an atheist. I have always been involved with our local church in some way or form but I am definitely agnostic these days.

However, that doesn't stop me being very fond of the (recently retired) vicar and some of the people involved with the church. I have always loved the building and enjoyed most of the services I go to.

The vicar knew exactly where I stood religiously and he didn't mind one bit, I even ran junior church for a while, I sort of struggled with it tbh but there wasn't anyone else to do it. It folded in the end (we only ever had 2 or 3 children, one of which was mine).

The new vicar is much more godly so I have stopped going to our village church completely - too much for me. I have switched my allegiance to the village church nearest school and go for things like harvest festival, Remembrance Sunday (which is the most important service all year for me personally), various times at Christmas, Mother's day.

I would be honest with the Vicar if you know him/her well enough. I have never felt judged.

In rural communities the church does a fair bit to bring the village together in my experience, hence my involvement I suppose.

Thank you for your responses - we are very rural and that has made me feel more responsible as I don't want the group to close or for the other volunteers to be forced to do even more. I think we do too much. Every week there is some kind of duty, sometimes more than one and I've started to dread the hassle on a Sunday - the last time we didn't have 'church jobs' (about 8 weeks ago) we didn't even go, just had a 'day off' and stayed in bed. If there's any sort of faith waiting to be discovered, this is not the way to find it!

When I went through a very dry patch I found 'God in All Things' by Gerry Hughes very helpful. It sounds like you are approaching things from the head rather than the heart and I think we need both as faith is based on relationship. Taking a break from the duties in church sounds like a good idea to give yourself time to recharge batteries physical and spiritual.

What material are you using in Sunday school? There is some good stuff out there but some churches are using stuff that is getting very dated and doesn't allow for the way children learn today.

Hi OP, the nearest thing I have to your experience is when discussing different religions but that's not the same because I am not expected to pretend it is what I believe and I say that this is what Christians/Sikhs/Muslims' believe but I guess the leaders expect you to endorse it personally which is making you uncomfortable. It is clear you enjoy working with the children and that you care for them and it would be a shame if you didn't have the opportunity to express that nurturing side of your personality.

I am wondering if there isn't a more suitable way for you to pursue this talent through a secular club? Personally, like you, I don't think I would feel comfortable saying something to children I didn't actually agree with so I do think you will have to bow out of that particular activity and as suggested, put your talents to use through different channels. I am sure the leaders will understand.

Sorry op I didn't explain I work with children. Also there is nothing to feel ashamed of, although I can completely understand how your upbringing will make you feel like you are letting someone/something down if you admit these feelings. Being honest with yourself is never shameful.

I think maybe you have got burned out from "church" rather than faith though I can't see in your heart. It does sound like you have gotten very fed up with all you have to do. Maybe a period of doing nothing for the church and just concentrate on being a parishioner for a while.

There is no shame in saying things have just got too much and you need some time away from duties.

You may find that if you take a step back and relax you rekindle your faith.

My wife and I had to step down from our duties, with demanding jobs and a young family something had to give. Like you we started to dread church. Now we just attend and look after our faith which after all is the important bit!