Catholic baptism advice please?

[Ihavealwaysbeenastorm]

Hi, I need some advice. DH is due to be godfather to his brothers new ds. We are evangelical Christians with no experience of catholic (or indeed infant) baptism so just looking for advice in the following ;

Will he need to buy the baby and gift? If so what?
Are catholic baptisms a dressy affair? I.e suits and dresses and new outfits for our dcs?

Will it be ok to feed my baby his dinner during the service (discreetly of course but the service is bang slap on the middle of his dinner time and he will have a mega meltdown if he isn't given something to eat, would this be frowned upon? I was going to bring a pouch and just squeeze it into his mouth lol!
How long will the service be? It's on a Saturday and as far as I know only close family invited.

That's all really, hope someone can help

Hi. I have been to a few. Yes to a gift. Need not be expensive but is often something to keep eg engraved silvery piggy bank or a christening album or little necklace if a girl. I would ask what they would like. Dress depends on family but usually a bit smart. I would ask family if expecting tie etc. As for feeding discreetly, fine if a pouch and young child. Four course meal might be different. I would say etiquette similar to a church wedding (though dress generally less formal) but less formal as likely to be kids rustling about. People often bring books for kids.

I can only speak from personal experience but here's my ideas:

Most people get the baby a gift - a bible is pretty traditional. I bought rosary beads when I was godmother, did a Noah's ark cross stitch for my niece and a bible for the last christening I went to.
They're reasonably dressy, but it depends on the family. I'd recommend a suit for the godfather, smart stuff for others, not necessarily new outfits. You can always ask the parents, they presumably know you aren't catholic.
I'd feed a small child during a church service. It should only last about half an hour, so not too long, but defo feed your DC if it'll case a fuss otherwise.

Hope that helps.

Same church background as you, we went to a Catholic baptism a few years ago. We are however Anglican, so used to infant baptism.

Yes to a present. Bible or prayer book.

Yes to dressy. No need to buy new outfits, but smart. We wore clothes we already had, but smart.

Yes to feeding baby. The Pope recently encouraged mothers to feed their babies in the Sistine Chapel, saying they were the most important people there. I took our then two year old for a toddle about at the back of the baptism we went to and it was fine.

Service about an hour. Would be unusual to have suits for kids. I would say maybe a shirt for a boy but otherwise ordinary clothes eg jeans. Would check though with host.

Catholic here; with christened children and attended dozens of ceremonies.

Agree with PPs. Gift should be symbolic, like rosary beads or a children's bible.

Smart, relatively modest attire and yes to breastfeeding.

Your DH will have to renounce Satan and it should last about 30ms (the ceremony, not the Satan thing)/

Thanks everyone! My ds is 10 months so doesn't understand having to wait for food, our church is very relaxed and family friendly so I wasn't sure if this would be acceptable in a formal situation like this.

Very much looking forward to it as I have never been to a Catholic service before, I think we might give the bbaby and bible then, thanks everyone!

Your DH should read up on the vows he will be taking at a Catholic baptism to see if they align with his own beliefs.

Which hat you wear and how much port you buy for the godchild is secondary to that.

There are bibles which are specifically called christening bibles you can buy in ordinary bookshops, with space for a message for your family. I still have all the gifts I got for my baptism in a box in the attic.

Ooh, just remembered the gift I got for my nephew - a bottle of whisky. The parents are supposed to keep it and give it to the child on their 21st birthday, which he then opens at the baptism of his first child. A lovely Scottish tradition.

allalone we've had some discussion about that as I honestly wasn't sure if I was comfortable with it, we are baptists so pretty clear about our views regarding baptism. However, SIL has assured us that nothing that DH will have to say will conflict with our beliefs, he will be purely promising to care, love and pray for the baby.

Yes, if he's not Catholic he won't make the vows of the creed, and can't actually be one of the 'official' godparents, but non Catholics can be 'symbolic' godparents.

According to this site, which corresponds to what I know (Catholic here) - although I thought it was a bit more flexible (not sure how anyone can qualify as a godparent these days if this was taken to its full extent). So check out with the priest to make sure it will be fine. In all likelihood your OH may be asked for documentation of his own baptism and about your marriage, as it happened when DS was baptised.

TO QUALIFY AS A GODPARENT
12. Not everyone qualifies to be a godparent. The Catholic Church provides a detailed guideline that must be obeyed. "To be admitted to undertake the office of sponsor, a person must:" (Canon 874.1)

12.3 "be a catholic who has been confirmed and has received the blessed Eucharist, and who lives a life of faith which befits the role to be undertaken;" (Canon 874.1.3)

12.4 "not labour under a canonical penalty, whether imposed or declared;" (Canon 874.1.4)

12.6 "A baptised person who belongs to a non-catholic ecclesial community may be admitted only in company with a catholic sponsor, and then simply as a witness to the baptism." (Canon 874.2)

DISQUALIFYING AS A GODPARENT
13. What follows is a list of personal characteristics that disqualify a person as a godparent:

13.1 the person has no intention of fulfilling his obligations as a godparent.

13.3 the person is not a Catholic.

13.4 the person has not received the Sacrament of Baptism in the Catholic faith.

13.5 the person has not received the Sacrament of Confirmation in the Catholic faith.

13.6 the person has not received the Sacrament of the Holy Eucharist in the Catholic faith.

13.7 the person is not living his faith in accordance with the teachings of the Catholic Church. (Example: The person has not been at Mass for 2, 5 or 10 years. The person employs birth control methods.)

13.13 the person is a public sinner. (Example: Prostitution, living common-law.)

13.14 the person is a heretic. "Heresy is the obstinate post- baptismal denial of some truth which must be believed with divine and catholic faith, or it is likewise an obstinate doubt concerning the same." (C.C.C. # 2089)

13.15 the person belongs to a schism. "Schism is the refusal of submission to the Roman Pontiff or of communion with the members of the Church subject to him." (C.C.C. # 2089)

13.16 the person is involved in a mix-marriage and believes his/her children should choose their own religion when they grow up.

13.17 the person believes that all religions are equal or that other religions are equal to the Catholic Church.

13.18 the person is involved in an invalid marriage. (Example: Justice of the Peace, marriage outside the Church.)

I would say breastfeeding would be no problem, but not solids. At least I've never seen it done, although I am lapsed and maybe things have changed. The service is not long so feed a few minutes early or late.

Yes, my understanding is that he will be a Christian Witness rather than a Godparent. But it is still a lovely thing to do, especially for a nephew, and you still get to buy the crate of champagne for the 21st.
Have a fab day storm

When I had my dc baptised the only specification for godparents was they must have "a faith". Denomination irrelevant.

That's a whole pile of rules lweji! I only just managed to find a catholic, I never asked if they were confirmed or any of the rest. I don't think it's invalidated the baptism! I'm a godparent and wasn't married in the church. As for the birth control bit...

I have a relative who's a priest and his pov is numbers are dwindling so he certainly won't refuse because of some ancient rule.

So what happens if you technically are disqualified from godparenting? Does the child just have no godparents, but is still baptised catholic?

Similar here.
DS's godparents were married in the Catholic church, but have hardly attended church. I was just asked about their baptism dates and marriage date.
Some priests may be even more flexible. Which is why I would be honest and check with the priest before making any plans, just to be sure.

My DH was christened as a baby (church of Ireland) and then baptised as an adult social he should be ok