Moifem so sorry that you experienced very judgemental people at church.
There is a such a variety of people and churches I am sure there are many different places of Christian worship where you can meet very kind and loving people.
On the subject of this thread can I suggest if anyone would like to listen rather than read this video is excellent. It is long. It argues a case about being affirming and accepting of gay relationships while also explaining the possible meaning of some of the passages in the Bible which have traditionally been used to say that gay relationships are wrong.
It is long but if you are interested it is good.
There are also some very good Facebook groups and there is an organisation called Accepting Evangelicals
As far as divorce goes I personally choose to interpret those verses that I have read that mention divorce to be made for the protection of the couple in marriage, especially the women in marriage.
Mark 10:2-5 says "2 Some Pharisees came and tested him by asking, “Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife?”
3 “What did Moses command you?” he replied.
4 They said, “Moses permitted a man to write a certificate of divorce and send her away.”
5 “It was because your hearts were hard that Moses wrote you this law,” Jesus replied. 6"
I think this means that divorce was allowed because people may not want to stay together (and it seems to be only the men were allowed to divorce not the other way around!) but Jesus is saying it is better to stay together. I think at that time and in that culture that it was very very difficult for a woman whose husband abandoned her.
How bad? I am not sure - would she be left with her kids and no way to support them? Would she have her children taken from her? Whatever happened it would not be like now where the family might be able to continue a good relationship and the state support the parent not working etc! Would she be sent back to her family 'in disgrace'? So to be 'dumped' might have had much, much more devastating ramifications than it does today. As well as the personal and social ramifications, monetary and situational ones, which may have meant disaster for a woman.
I do not think that this passage means that today if a woman or man is trapped' in a painful or abusive, or even a loveless, marriage that they are obliged to stay together. I know there would be some Christians who may think this but I am pretty sure when the rubber hits the road many Christians would want to be compassionate and supportive of people going through painful divorces.