Prayer request etiquette - I think this is extremely RUDE

[roisin]

OK we used to be very close friends with a couple, but - as you do - have lost all genuine contact with them, but still exchange Christmas cards. You get the picture.

Well 2 weeks ago we got this dramatic email (sent to a list of people) which simply said:
"Please pray for ds1 and for us all. Something very distressing has happened.
Love LL and JJ and family"

Of course I have been praying for them, but also emailed straight back with some of our news (including that my dad died a few weeks ago), and also saying "Do let us know if/when you want to let us know more." And I emailed again a week later.

I have still heard nothing more from them, and am really cheesed off about it. I think it's very rude behaviour.

Maybe they haven't checked their email? It's probably best not to judge until you know all the facts? Can understand that you're upset though.

Maybe what happened is so bad they are at a hospital the whole time and have not got time to update people.

Hmm, I wouldn't jump to conclusions just yet- if it's terrible they might be spending lots of time in hospital or something and just aren't at their computer. Although distressing doesn't sound like health really, does it? So sorry about your dad though, I really am.

Could be something really awful and life changing that's happened and it'll all become clear soon?

If something very distressing has happened, which it has, perhaps good manners are far from the most important thing on their minds at the moment, rightly so. Give them time, perhaps its too difficult to speak about. I'm sorry to hear about your father, I hope you are being kind to yourself.

Yeah, yeah, I know, which is why I've been feeling guilty about feeling really cross about it.

But I still think you should either decide to inform people and to some extent keep them informed; even if you want to be very coy about it "Thanks for praying the crisis has now passed" or something, would be better than nothing.

They have 3 other children too, so I think the concept of not logging on to the email at all for 14 days seems pretty far-fetched.
Personally I can't go for 14 hrs without a fix

It's simple, don't pray for them if you don't feel 100 per cent happy doing it. If you do pray for them, do it without any expectation. If they are distressed enough to have to ask people for prayers they are probably in a bad place and your faith is being called on to be unquestioningly generous.

I also think it reveals a dodgy theology of prayer too. As though God's response to prayer is in some way like a phone in for The X-factor or something, and it depends on how many people phone in.

Maybe I've just had a rubbish day at work, and all my unquestioning generosity has been used up on ungrateful insolent teenagers, and maybe I'll regret this post in the morning.

sometimes I check my email, but dont feel strong enough to reply to it.

roisin, so sorry to hear about your dad. Hope you are getting lots of support!

From a personal pov, there have been times when I have said, 'Please pray for me, I need help', and knowing that others have responded has given me comfort and strength. I think that is what prayer is about really. We become channels somehow for others to get strength from God. I have prayed for others who have asked the same of me. Sometimes things are just too awful to entrust to even a close friend, but we can pray in ignorance knowing that God knows what is needed. I hope your friends are okay and that they get in touch soon.

And don't go getting upset, you obviously have a lot on, take it easy on yourself (I think that's the problem with requests like this, you never know how hard things might be for the other person atm).

{{{hugs}}}