Introducing 4 year old to Catholic faith

[arsenelupin]

Now I've got DD into a state reception class, my lapsed RC DH (who lapsed aged 11) has become worried that she won't be getting any religious education, especially his Catholic heritage. I'm raised Protestant and 'lapsed' (? whatever Prods do) aged 13, so feel quite strongly this is up to him to sort out. But he won't take her to church - says he likes Catholicism as a philosophy, not a practice . He claims there are no Catholic Sunday schools - is this true? I've suggested he either leave it until she's older, or buy some educational books to start some awareness. Any advice?

Our catholic church has children's liturgy where kids go out for the first part of mass, hear a shortened version of the gospel and then do a short activity before returning to the rest of the mass with their parents. Think many catholic churches offer this sort of thing. Do your DH's parents practice, surely they could have some sort of input?

Actually she will be getting religious education at primary school. Four year olds can't grasp the concept of religion and belief anyway so why not wait till she's older and can make her own mind up?

Sounds to me like your dh is revisiting his beliefs as much as wanting them for your dd.

My four yr old is very aware that God loves her (remember having the same awareness at her age) although we try not to do the dogamtic religion thing, it just gets in the way.

They have Sunday School at our local RC church (my friend's son goes). The Catholic church has probably changed somewhat in that regard, since your DH was a child. I find it very strange he'd want her brought up a Catholic if he's not prepared to take her to church... some sort of residual belief system from his childhood perhaps? Surely as she gets older she'll worry why you don't go to church?

Is the school she is going to any sort of faith school? If so, it may be worth speaking to her teacher about it.

I'm with N3 on what a 4yo can and cannot understand, depending on the child's exposure to belief.

Let us know how you get on - its an interesting dilemma.

I wanted dd to go to a catholic school as I have been skirting round the idea of catholicism for years. She learned so much from being in reception even (like others have said the 'god loves me' thing), she is now in year 6 and we have both been received into the catholic church now and she does go to mass most sundays.

I think your dh would need to engage with the church somehow if he wanted her to go down that route. Most catholic churched these days have some sort of childrens liturgy, the one at Worth Abbey in Sussex is fab, the kids go off and draw pictures and things then come back and speak to the priest about what they have been doing that morning in front of the congregation, he is sooo lovely to them, it always makes me sniffle

Surely bringing up your child as a Catholic or in any faith for that matter, entails having a home and family life pervaded by those beliefs and I don't see how you can acquire Catholicism as a philosophy without the practice TBH. I would say going to mass as a family or at least he and the child is the way to start, as others have said, preferably where there is something on offer for dc because it can be a long period for dc to just sit still and not know what is going on.

Thank you all very much. My DH is, I think, torn between wanting DD to know his family's cultural heritage, and the actual fact of practising a faith (his parents aren't alive, and his sister has a lot of disagreements with her traditionalist husband, which doesn't help). In fact, I do think he is revisiting his own beliefs, rather than worrying about DD's education, and that makes me want to encourage him to take her to a child-friendly Mass. We'll see... thank again!

That was slso my feeling arsene. I think without going overboard with it and jumping from church to church, I would keep in mind that within one denomination, churches can have a very different feel, there are bound to be some where he feels more comfortable/at home than others.

Then of course there are little prayers at night, some songs he may remember, perhaps a book of saints, a picture of a Guardian Angel above her bed which could gently open her to the whole Catholic tradition. However if his heart is not in it, I think he may need some time to think this all through for himself.