Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Philosophy/religion

Join our Philosophy forum to discuss religion and spirituality.

Original poster

Bullies From The Past

13 replies

Bookworm13 · 07/08/2014 15:58

I would really appreciate your views on this folks.

Basically, I was on Facebook the other day and came across several people who, to put it bluntly, made my life a living hell at school.
I cannot begin to describe how vicious these individuals were to me and although I'm now in my 40s, you don't forget.

A lot has happened since then and many years have passed. I'm delighted to say I'm married to a lovely guy and have two lovely sons. I've also moved away from the parochial town I lived in (I couldn't wait to get away and moved away from that area years ago.)

Just recently, I've had some major personal success (I've always wanted to be a writer and recently secured a publishing deal). I know this is going to sound awful but as soon as I saw the faces of the bullies on there, I was so tempted to message them and verbally stick two fingers up.

My Husband knows what I was put through (although not all of it) but he said I've already secured (in his opinion) the biggest "Up Yours!" I could, by moving on; getting my writing noticed etc.
We live in a nice house in an affluent area and my Husband has got a good job. When I checked out what my bullies had achieved, it wasn't much. Most of them are in dead-end jobs and still live in that hell-hole.

My Husband said to me "That about sums them up - forget them."
Sorry if I sound bitter but the verbal and mental bullying they inflicted on me for years isn't easy to forget and even my Husband doesn't know the half of it. What do you guys think? Put this in my past or message these low-lifes about my achievement to show they didn't beat me?

OP posts:
NutellaLawson · 07/08/2014 16:07

I don't think telling them would achieve anything positive, tbh . I can see why you're tempted to tell them you 'won' in the long run, but a) life isn't over yet. They could get win a million on the lottery and you lose your health, for example.

And b) gloating wouldn't reflect well on you. If your motive is just to make them feel bad about how their lives have panned out, aren't you just being a bully in return?

your DH is right. You came out on top, so leave them in the past, where they belong.

And well done on making a good life out of a miserable start. Thanks forget the bullies. They aren't worth your time.

capsium · 07/08/2014 16:11

I would forget them. Would you really want a possible response from them?

Original poster
Bookworm13 · 07/08/2014 16:12

Thank you NutellaLawson for your lovely message. What you've said made perfect sense.

The last thing I want to do, is stoop to (or be seen to stoop) to their level.

I'm not going to do anything except keep moving on! Thank you X

OP posts:
Original poster
Bookworm13 · 07/08/2014 16:13

Capsium - when you put it like that....! Thank you.

OP posts:
capsium · 07/08/2014 16:20

Grin Happy to help.

AMumInScotland · 07/08/2014 16:27

I agree with the others, plus I think that making the effort to tell them might make them think you care about their opinion, that they are important enough in your life after all these years for you to want them to notice you.

If you put your happy and satisfying life up on FB, and they look, they will see for themselves and can reach their own conclusions if they've grown enough to have the least bit of self-awareness.

Original poster
Bookworm13 · 07/08/2014 16:29

AMumInScotland - Thank you for that. I can't forgive but I can forget!

OP posts:
Muskey · 07/08/2014 16:37

Mr bookworm is right. You have succeeded where they haven't that has got to be the best two fingers that you could possibly do. Do you really think that if you went on FB and told them how fab your life is that they would not try and find away to hurt you. I recently left a job where the boss was a bully and I knew someone who was in school with her and this woman was a bully when she was younger and now at nearly 50 she still is a bully. People don't change. Enjoy you success and don't look back

Original poster
Bookworm13 · 07/08/2014 17:10

Thank you Muskey!

OP posts:
missorinoco · 07/08/2014 17:15

Agree. Celebrate your success and in not telling them you are leaving them behind you, where they belong. If you message them you are both showing them that yousstill care what they think, and give them zn importance in your life that they do not deserve.

Of course, social media being what it is someone else may tell them for you anyway. ....

Well done on moving forwards.

Original poster
Bookworm13 · 07/08/2014 17:19

Missorinoco, Thank you too. Everything you have all said, makes perfect sense and I should have seen all this on reflection. I think the "red mist" just came down when I saw their faces!

OP posts:
missorinoco · 07/08/2014 17:21

I can think of certain people I would love to message , and my achievements are nothing compared to yours!

Original poster
Bookworm13 · 07/08/2014 17:27

Missorinoco, I think being happy and contented is a great "Up Yours!" and can't be bettered when you think about it! X

OP posts:
New posts on this thread. Refresh page