Agnostic's child to be christened catholic....

[Trying99]

Not sure what I'm asking for here, but I guess I'd like to hear from others in similar situations (sorry it's a bit long!)

I'm agnostic, and my husband and his family are catholic. My husband regularly attended church until in his early 20's but faith is still a big part of him and his identity. His family are active in the church also and faith is also a huge part of their lives.

I'm agnostic, ironically my father and his side of the family are also catholic, so I have been exposed to the church all my life but was fortunate to be given the opportunity to explore my beliefs hence my feelings now.

We are due to have our first child and it means a lot for my husband and his family for her to be catholic. I deep down am not happy, as I do not object to her being catholic, I want it to be her choice if she wants to be, not something that she is made to be. But, I'm willing to go along with it as it's important and as my husband is also more than happy for me to provide guidance to her on all types of other faiths and expose her to the concept of the fact everyone is different and there is no right or wrong.

My issue I guess is how I can best support my husband, as to enable her to be catholic we both need to attend mass, and both need to go on a course. I've attended mass loads in my life, and never really given it much thought but today I felt like a fraud as there were some things said that I fundamentally didn't agree with both in the homily and with the readings chosen and the slant put on them. I respect what they were saying and I think that's what gets me, the fact I respect it, don't agree with it and feel like I then shouldn't be part of it if that makes sense. My husband knows how I feel and knows it's a struggle and appreciates what I'm doing but I still feel that I probably better can support him in this but now sure how!

Your husband has also to support you, remember. A child doesn't need to be baptised, they can still go to Mass.

You need to sit down and speak to him about baptism, schools and sacraments.

Your husband can take your dc to mass.
Lots of families at my dcs school where only one parent is catholic.
The non catholic parent attends special events suck as confirmation, 1st communion etc.
My ex h never came to mass, and I now take the dcs on my own anyway as a single parent

It depends on the Piriest, I think. I'm currently having difficulty getting my dd baptised, as a practising ciatholic whose non-practising DH won't go to Mass, but is happy for children to be raised Catholic. Priest here insists that we both go to Mass for 3 months before we can begin baptism preparation. I know that wasn't the case in our previous parish.

Thanks for the responses. I'm ok with the baptism and sacraments but hope that when it gets to the communion that we will be giving her a choice. Schools isn't an issue as DH wants the best education rather than be wedded to a catholic school.

Interesting about the parish angle. The church we are going to technically we are not part of the parish (one street out I think on boundaries) but my husband had been there for a few Christmas masses and really liked the community so that's why we went there. I'd be interested to see what our true parish is like, and maybe I'd feel more comfortable with their view. I respect the fact that the priest wants us both to attend mass, but I do think it's more constructive for my DH to go rather than me as he will be the one providing her with the catholic guidance.

It sounds like you are being supportive by being respectful of his beliefs. I think the most supportive thing you can do is what you are probably already doing...not judging, not being negative, and giving your DD the balance of knowing about and respecting the beliefs of others as well as our own, as she grows.

My DH doesn't come to mass with us, and on a practical note, I would really have appreciated my DH giving me a hand getting our DCs ready for church when they were younger. Just little things like making breakfast and washing the dishes/brushing their teeth while I had a shower, so that we didn't arrive 10 minutes late looking like we'd been dragged through a hedge backwards would have made the world of difference to me !

Why do you need to go?

I am (I suppose) agnostic, tending towards woo, believing certainly that something is out there, and up there, but realistically is probably not an old fella on a throne.

I am in deepest darkest Italy (go figure!) and dd was baptised Catholic with all the trimmings. She has just finished 5 yrs of catechism and did her FHC last year and no-one has ever asked me what religion I am. (I did tell whippersnapper priest because I didn't confess before her FHC as all the other parents did and I wanted him to know why- he was cool and said no problem absolutely.)

Parish life I have to say is bloody fab. Dd goes to loads of groups/after school things, run by the older teenagers. (it's worth signing up just for the activities and )

Ironically, I do find myself attending mass far more often than dp does. I like it. I like the songs (which are, bizarrely, far less hymn-y and "religious" than UK Anglican hymns) I like the candles. I like the hour when I can just sit and think stuff.

I also notice far more connections with paganism and woo stuff than the priests would ever acknowledge

But if you don't want to do it, then your husband needs to take the job on.