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Philosophy/religion

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How to "get right" when I'm not sorry

5 replies

SadTimes14 · 15/04/2014 10:53

I'm a Christian and I had an abortion yesterday.

I'm as sure as I can be that God doesn't support abortion. And I'm sure I've made him very sad.

I can't regret what I did. All I feel is relief at no longer being pregnant. So I guess I'm not sorry. What I am sorry about is being stupid enough to get pregnant in the first place. I was careless and daft (We needed assistance to conceive the last time and I'd convinced myself I couldn't get pregnant naturally)

How can I get right with God and ask for forgiveness for something that I'm not sorry for?

I don't want to go to Church on Sunday though. So I guess I'm trying to hide from God....

Thanks
x

OP posts:
LittleMissDisorganized · 15/04/2014 11:47

Hi SadTimes,
I didn't want to leave you unanswered. Think of your DC, a daughter if you have one. How would you feel is she was in your position - hurting and confused (which is how your post reads). What would you say to her - would you shout and condemn?? Or would you hurt for her, feel sad, for her, want to comfort and hug and reassure her of your love for her??

I am sure it is the latter. God is our parent, and he's more a parent than any of us will ever be. When he looks at you he feels that you are hurting, regretting your actions regarding getting pregnant, wishing you'd never been in the position of needing an abortion.

Is he angry? - He is angry like when your 3 year old wanders off in the supermarket and when you find then you want to hug them and shout at them at the same time.

I had a time for a few years where I was really lost and did some things that were awful, that I wouldn't admit to my Christian friends. I'm in recovery from alcoholism. I've caused an awful lot of hurt. I went through that avoiding church thing because I didn't really know what to say to God. I tell you this because what I'm writing here is not from some ivory tower but my experience of God in the healing years that followed the awful years.

Don't let what you think God will think cloud how you relate to Him. There is no hierarchy of sin, with abortion and homosexuality up there as number one offenders, despite what various (usually American) campaigners would have us believe. There is just your heavenly Father, and his child, in his world, all damaged by sin. If you don't know what to ask for forgiveness for just yet, that's ok. Just keep the dialogue open, sit by His side, and give it time. Say sorry for what you honestly wish you hadn't done, and ask God to reveal what else He wants you to look at.

Have you told anyone in RL that shares your faith that you could have this sort of conversation with face to face? Does your church have any sort of listening/ counselling ministry? It would probably do you good to tell someone, when you are ready.

Thinking of you.

AMumInScotland · 15/04/2014 13:09

Why are you so sure that God can't understand the reasons why you felt like an abortion was the right choice for you in this situation?

I think it's perfectly possible to be unhappy about abortion, and to wish it was never something that people felt they had to do, while still seeing that, with the world being the way it is, sometimes it is a choice that people feel is necessary for them to take.

And I would hope that God has enough sense of reality to feel the same way.

I think all you can do is to talk to God, and be honest about what aspects of the situation you do regret, and which you feel were necessary/unavoidable/better than the alternative.

atthestrokeoftwelve · 15/04/2014 15:07

your feelings are perfectly valid. A relief. You have made the right choice. I would be questioning my beliefs not my decisions her. Abortion is niot a sin or a crime, despite what some christians may think.

God is the problem, not your actions.

SadTimes14 · 15/04/2014 19:42

Thank you three for taking time to reply and your kind and sensible words.

LittleMiss you words particularly hit home and made sense. They are wise words. I feel now like I've got somewhere to start from in processing this. I can cry now and start the dialogue.... Thank you x

OP posts:
LittleMissDisorganized · 17/04/2014 14:41

I'm glad and humbled to have helped. I hope that as well as starting the dialogue with God, you can talk to someone, a real someone. PM me if you need a temporary someone while you work out who best to trust and confide in, that's a big decision and step.

I hope that you can make peace with yourself, and with God, who after all wants a relationship with us above all else in the world.

Be kind to yourself.

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