Muslim neighbour has died, any advice?

[charlietangoteakettlebarbeque]

Hi there

Have already posted in chat about this but wanted some advice from any Muslims or anyone who knows about Muslim tradition regarding death.

My 26 year old neighbour died this week, leaving her 6 year old boy. So sad. This year we had become closer, as I had a baby and we found we had a lot in common. She lived with her mum and aunt a few doors down from me. Her mum and aunt are such kind and friendly women. After I gave birth they brought round food and offered donation of children's furniture etc

I want to show them my support in this difficult and shocking time

We live in communal gardens. Someone on the other thread suggested planting a tree or flowers in the garden. Great idea but wondered if anyone could suggest what type of tree or plant? Is there anything which would have special significance in the Muslim faith?

Would a condolence card be appropriate? Also a little gift for the son, any suggestions

Sorry for the length of post. I am still in shock and terribly upset. I was looking forward to spending time with her and her son this summer, in our garden. Her poor son now has no mum and no dad (he was an abusive man who didn't want to know his son)

so so sad

Perhaps I could cook a dish and bring it around? Any suggestions on what would be a good dish to cook?

Oh my lovely. Condolences on your loss and very unmumsnetty

As with all religions, some people are more strict than others. For ideas, what food did they make for you when your baby was born?

How terribly sad :( I have no advice, but bumping for you!

I saw this in chat, and although I have nothing of any use to say with regards to the religion, would it be an idea to gently suggest that your happy to have the son round for a 'play date' with yours if they ever struggle, give them your number, make sure you tell the son as well and let him know he's always welcome? I think that that sort of support would be helpful immediately to them, as I imagine they are probably trying to shelter him from some of the arrangement aspects? I hope someone will be able to help you

Hello everyone. Thanks for your replies. Just back from visiting neighbours. I made them a chicken and rice dish, got a condolence card and a world cup magazine for the boy.

Turns out she was only 23. So so sad.

I suggested getting a tree or a plaque for one of the benches. So we might all chip in as neighbours to do this

Thanks all xx

I'm so sorry to hear about your loss, I think all the suggestions have been great xx

Thank you x

I live in a Muslim country and it's normal here for all the neighbours to rally round and bring food to the grieving family - in fact they have an open house for a few days after the death.

However, at least in the Islam that is practised here, it is considered haram to have any kind of monument or mark left for the person (graves are modest and unmarked) so the tree idea would be a very bad idea indeed. But I don't know if this is universal across Islam or not.

Hello,

They are from Lebanon. Actually when I brought up the tree suggestion she didn't say much - so maybe it is seen as haram by the Lebanese too? I think I will just leave it for now and if she brings it up again I can go from there. I was thinking of an olive tree, but as I said, I think I will just leave that for now, unless the mother brings it up again.