where to start and how to keep up with postive thinking

[mouses]

hi all
I really, really want to be more positive and one day be free of my depression and anxieties which hold me back in life.
ive read the secret, the power and my house has positive quote EVERYWHERE! I put peoples needs and happiness before my own (not good I know)

I just cant seem to keep hold of the gratitude and positivity and slip back into negative sayings and shouty mummy person

id like to meet like minded people as I think it would help - I currently have one friend who is a witness so we clash abit in some beliefs, yet she's lovely and my rock.

where do I start? where can I go to meet others with the same mindset, school mums just don't cut it and far far to bitchy!

its hard for me to think positive when my kids are so rude, disrespectful and miserable. I end up shouting and expressing negative words and thoughts? then wish I had handled it better, but don't know what else to say in the 'moment' if that makes sense.

would church be a good thing for them/us? I want them/us to be more appreciative, grateful and happy. I want them to see the good in everyone/thing.

am I going the wrong way about it all?

Hi mouses, well done for acknowledging your anxiety and depression and wanting to do something about it. You have taken a huge positive step forward. I have been in your situation. It may be that you are considering going to church because God has called you and you are answering that call. You could start by talking with God (prayer). You could ask him to guide you to a church that would work for you and your children. You would think all churches welcomed children, but ime that is not the case! Things I have learnt since attending church which have really helped me are: the second commandment says to love others as yourself ie you are to love yourself. You are God's creation and He loves you. I'm sure others will be along here soon to give you great advice.

hi
ive had mh problems since childhood, ive taken pills for it in the past but have stopped as i know i wasn't born depressed and its life that has created/inflicted it and i want to better life to rid of it. if that makes any sense?

ive been contemplating church for ages, i hold back because i don't understand it all, following god in that respect. to be honest i wouldn't even know what to expect from going to church or what goes on, how it works. it just comes to me as a place of peace an understanding? might be wrong?

second commandment?

In this situation, and in my own experience: you can't change others, you can only change yourself.
If you take one tiny wee moment each day to reconnect with something that gives you pleasure, and allow it to be 'your' time. It might be as simple as enjoying a coffee by yourself just for ten minutes. Just allow yourself the space to nourish YOU.
In my life, I've seen so many people looking externally for 'something' but, the real answers are always inside ourselves, as you have already realised.
Take a moment to appreciate perhaps a flower, the beauty of what's around you.
It may take a short while, or a long while - but once you can find and hold onto something in yourself that keeps you from becoming 'shouty mum' things may feel much easier for you.
Your kids may recognise and respect the change in you. Each time you tell yourself inside a negative saying - cancel it out by making yourself say something with the opposite (more positive?) meaning. Over time, you won't even tell yourself the negatives any more, much less hear them in your mind.
Find your own inner peace, and it really does flood out to every part of your life.
Obviously, feeling belonging in a place where others are - it might be church, it might be a nighttime group, or even a gym?

i agree indigobarbie i do need to change myself, i need to have more patience. im trying to be more positive yet the dc's are stressful and at times its hard to shake off the negative thoughts.

will keep trying, will dig out my Rhonda byrne books as they have helped with gratitude and rethinking.

Hi Mouses, when depressed it can be helpful to record and challenge the Negative Automatic Thoughts, rather than just thinking positively. getselfhelp.co.uk has downloadable worksheets that can help.

I wish you well.

hi dione thanks for the link i hae just printed off step one

I don't think people can force themselves to "think positive" and life is suddenly problem-free. If you sweep difficulties under the carpet they have a habit of resurfacing somehow. So it may be more helpful to just make some very small changes, and maybe plan/mentally rehearse how you'd like to react next time you're in a stressful situation.

mouses I would certainly agree with your thoughts on church being "a place of peace and understanding". Is there a church near you which has the minister (could be a priest, vicar or pastor)'s phone number displayed outside? If so, you could give them a ring and talk to them about the things you have posted above. Some churches have family services, which would be a good way of getting to know more about what goes on in churches.

Second commandment. To cut a long story short, in the Bible, God gave Moses 10 commandments. The 1st is to love the Lord your God & the second is the one I quoted. The others are all based around these 2.

Try reading the book finding your inner peice it's a work book and its fab

I didn't spell peace incorrectly that's how it is on the book cover and refers to finding g peices of yourself :)

Positive thinking is rubbish, realistic thinking is freeing. There's a book called 'the antidote' by Burkman which is about realistic thinking that's excellent.

In general Mindfullness is the way to go - staying in the moment.

Agree with Laurie! Positive thinking is a horrible multi-million industry mindfuck positive psychology, maybe. Being accepting of what is and not resisting it is key. Shit happens, unrealistic to think otherwise. Powerful to realise "i am not my thoughts"