Help! I've just denied my faith.....

[Dynasty]

I'm feeling terrible. I'm an Anglo-Catholic, soon to be Catholic.

I met someone I used to go to school with the other day, we have both just started a course with our DC.

We started talking about schools, I mentioned I didn't want mine to go to the school that we'd gone to, that I would rather the local Catholic school. She said it was good apart from the fact it is Catholic & she couldn't believe how seemingly intelligent people believed that kind of stuff. She then asked if I was Catholic, I said no, she said thank God for that, then asked if I was Christian, again I said no............... I was really embarrassed, for myself and for her, and now I feel dreadful for lying, on a number of levels .... I feel like I've also let my DC down, who go to a faith school.

I sympathise, I remember being upset when Hillary mantel said something along the lines of decent people couldn't be catholic these days and I often don't mention it to people or say I'm not a particularly good catholic... A lot of my friends etc think I'm a bit barking for converting, it is hard to explain to people who aren't sympathetic to religion so I don't really try. Forget about it, or confess it and move on.

Thanks. I am going to go to confession.

It has made me feel really weak for being too ashamed to admit my beliefs, fallen at the first hurdle!

Well look Op - you're in good company. You and St Peter It's hard sometimes when faced with opposition and ridicule. Harder still when afraid.
I was in church on Sunday thinking (mind wanders in sermon) about the Jews in Occupied Europe. If I was faced with persecution and death for me and my kids because of my faith - would I still attend church? Would I say 'I'm a Christian, I will pray for you' if that could lead to pain and misery and suffering for me and mine? Would I? I really don't know. I think every one us has the potential to deny our faith if put n a situation where we feel vulnerable.

We're all fallible. You made a mistake tonight. So think about what you could say next time that topic comes up. Think about why you want these things and how you could stick up for your choices.

Whenever I read about the Inquisition I know I would deny my faith to avoid torture or death. Not proud of it but 99% certain that's what I'd do. I know telling a friend isn't the same as torture but sometimes when we feel under pressure we act spontaneously to try and protect ourselves from a perceived threat. Don't feel bad OP. She should feel bad for asking so insensitively.

Thanks Northern. If the subject comes up again (I'll be seeing her weekly) I may say we are actually Catholic (although not particularly good ones) and that I didn't want to embarrass either of us at the time as it would have been awkward all round. It might be a good opportunity to dispel some of the myths!

Thanks Antionette, it's funny as I felt more 'threatened' in that situation then I would if a stranger from another faith was asking me aggressively ... Although yes I would deny my faith to save my children/family from harm.

I think you have been given some good answers here.

It is about christian bravery isnt it.
I am always minded of Joshua. At the beginning of the book of Joshua, he is told by God to be bold, be strong, for the Lord your God is with you. And this was repeated to him.

biblehub.com/1_peter/4-1.htm
One of our christian goals is the above message. A tough one for anyone I should imagine.

When people are so aggressive dogmatic it is hard to speak up. I've kept silent myself -- once when we were appointing someone at work my Head of Department said 'I think she's probably a Christian, we don't want any of those here'. I'm still ashamed I kept silent rather than saying 'well, actually you already have'.

But for what it's worth, my experience of times when I have been bold enough to speak up is that people sometimes backtrack a bit.

But it is hard, and getting harder.

Hmm yes can be difficult especially when people start quoting the Bible at you and turning everything on its head, quite aggressively. Christian belief does really offend some people.

Thankfully on MN you remain at a safe distance! Strangely exhilarating sometimes though...

My stock answer is that there are a lot of us about...

Thinking about it, though, you can understand why some people hold grudges against corrupt churches.

Hi as an Anglo-catholic. I'm interested to hear to are converting. Was the personal decsion or led by your church? How did you go about it?

Interested as we have just moved away from our FiF parish and I'm struggling to find a local c of e church I'm comfy with.

I feel it's completely warranted if the person has first hand or a close family member who's been badly treated, otherwise it just seems more about them validating their choices. It's even worse in the US, I've actually been dropped by friends when they found out about my conversion, at least a lot of British people just consider you barmy behind your back!

Peter denied Jesus three times yet he still went to heaven. Go to confession and do not worry about it.

Thanks all I went to confession and feel a lot better about it now. A lesson learned. I just hate the way there is so much disdain for Christians, and mainly by people who know nothing about the faith, just don't think it's intellectual or 'cool'. It's definitely not fashionable to be a Christian these days... Funnily enough I think you're ok with Buddhism!!

Harriet it is my personal decision. I am actually really torn at the moment and am about to start a new thread about my issues around it as would really like some unbiased advice.

imo opinion, disdain for christians is not country wide at all. Perhaps it is just in some areas? Or even some families?

I was raised an atheist and went to a secular school, I was raised to be suspicious of Christians and had never really met one until I was an adult. I guess this is why I notice it so much.

I absolutely understand why you did this and hope you aren't beating yourself up at all. And that confession helped you.

I always seem to get involved on Christian bashing threads on chat & aibu and when I read the attitudes of quite a few people there' eg all Christians are thick, it's not surprising we sometimes elect for the easier route.

Thank goodness for the love and compassion of Jesus!

Yes, I know a lot of people do not want you 'shoving your beliefs down their throats' but when asked about them, you want to be able to reply. On threads which discuss beliefs you want to be able to join in. So is the only acceptable position to shut up? I don't think so.

I sometimes feel like I've been told off, like a silly schoolgirl, for being Christian.

But I can make laugh just a little, channelling my teenage self, I think well you cannot police my thoughts! Ha, I could be silently praying right now and no one need know. I don't often get much opportunity to feel rebellious.

^myself laugh. Typo.

Although I do completely understand keeping quiet.

I have a lot of atheist friends and thankfully most of them respect the fact that I believe just as I respect theirs not to. Without that mutual respect I don t think they would be friends anyway.
I never talk about my faith unless specifically asked.
If asked, I say I believe my faith is a gift that I have accepted, and it makes my life complete.
I have been a believer most of my life so am used to questions. In time, Dynasty, maybe as you become more confident in your faith, these situations will become easier for you, but don t beat yourself up over it.

As has been said Op, Peter denied Jesus three times and yet Jesus didn't lose faith in him and he went on to be the rock of the church and its foundation. Just say sorry to God and ask for His Spirit to strengthen, guide, encourage and enable you to speak out a bit more about your faith and beliefs whenever the next opportunity arises (don't look to force one out of context though). God's grace, love and forgiveness are infitite when we turn to Him and pray through our failings, however small or large they may seem to us. He can turn and use every failing to teach, grow and equip us to meet future challenges. After praying something along these lines, don't feel any more guilt or worry about it, be joyful in God's grace and know that His spirit will be with you to help next time you have an opening to mention your faith :-)