Welcome to muslim tea room 2.

[defuse]

Peace to you all

Ok, well here it is again...we have moved to room 2 now

Discuss whatever aspect of islam you like my lovely sisters - this is a place for muslims and non-muslims too, to share experiences, raising kids or just having your say!

The kettle is on.... We have loads of herbal teas, coffee and guava juice .... I like guava juice so welcome!

If this person is causing harm to people and will continue to do so if you do not tell others, then it's your duty to tell people what this person has done.

Zulm is haram, doing zulm and silently suffering zulm is haram.

You don't need it to be gibah, be honest and factual and ensure that in future anyone else who deals with this sister does so with open eyes (so to speak).

This will prevent her from doing zulm and others from suffering zulm.

There are consequences for ones actions and we are meant to look out for each other. Imagine the harm she could do if left unchecked because she's been allowed to get away with it.

Do it with the intention of preventing zulm. If you know this about her and she continues to cause harm to others and you don't warn people you're complicit by your silence.

May Allah replace whatever loss you have suffered by something far better and reward your patience.

Peaceful I'd never heard of Tony Benn until now, he sounded like a lovely person.

Crescent, your situation sounds like a tough one, I have no advice except listen to fuzzy, she always speaks sense .

I could actually do with taking that advice myself, I've found out someone has been saying horrible, vindictive stuff about me behind my back, someone who is supposed to be a friend. I'm guessing the person who told me was in a similar situation to yourself, and I'm grateful she told me. It's all untrue but so malicious. Luckily all the sisters involved (there's about 5 in total) know 100% that what she is saying is all lies. This is someone I've known for 20 years, our children are the same age and last year we moved in next door to each other (not planned just a coincidence). And I have to see her every day, being nice to my face but nasty behind my back. It's a horrible feeling. But I'm too nice to confront her, mainly because of the implications it will have on the other sisters.

Sorry for the ramble .

Jazakallah for the book links crescent, they look good and it's the kind of thing she will read.

I hope everyone is well.

Salaam all,

Crescent sis, i would be inclined to tell anyone about to entrust their money to her. After all, that is dishonesty on her part. Dont know of she is having financial issues, but regardless of that, so is every other person nowadays. Just on the intention side, ensure that when you tell, that your intention stays pure - a challenge in itself when you have been wronged.

Hope it works out for you inshallah

Ameen. That sounds pretty awful crescent, and sorry you're in a similar situation. I've been thinking a lot the last few days and I just don't understand how some people can be so bitchy. Everyone knows you shouldn't back bite, so why do it? I'm not going to say anything to my neighbour at all, I don't want to lower myself to her level. Did your people 2 and 3 deliberately change the story or was it a genuine misunderstanding? At least you stood up to them though and asked them outright I'm too much of a wimp.

"O you who believe! Avoid much suspicion, in deeds some suspicions are sins. And spy not neither backbite one another. Would one of you like to eat the flesh of his dead brother? You would hate it (so hate backbiting). And fear God, verily, God is the one who accepts repentance, Most Merciful." (49: 12)

Rasul Allah (sal Allahu alaihi wa sallam) said: “Truthfulness leads to righteousness and righteousness leads to Paradise; a person remains truthful until he is written as a Siddeeq (truthful person) with Allah. Lying leads to sin and sin leads to the Fire; a person keeps lying until he is written as a Kadhdhab (liar) with Allah.” [Bukhari]

I found this also -

Backbiting and slander is so widespread that it has become the topic of people’s meetings and an avenue for expressing their anger, misgivings and jealousy. Those who indulge in backbiting are oblivious of the fact that they are only harming themselves. This is because of the fact that on the Day of Resurrection both the wrongdoer and the wronged will stand before God, Who is the Just Judge, God will then give this wronged person from the good deeds of the person who wronged him in accordance with his wrong by backbiting.

Some situations allow us to inform others of what someone has done. It is allowed for us to inform the authorities when someone does injustice to us or others. It is allowed for us to inform someone who can help a perpetrator from committing further vice. It is also permissible for us to tell whoever seeks our advice on a person for business dealings or marriage. In this case it is not allowed for us to hide what we know about the person so that the enquirer will not be deceived. All these types of speaking about others are lawful.

Islam teaches us that if people are being ridiculed or backbited in our presence, we should defend their honor. If we neglect this, we shall deprive ourselves of ever needed help and mercy from God - If a man's Muslim brother is slandered in his presence, and he is capable of defending him and does so, God will defend him in this world and in the next. But if he fails to defend him, God will destroy him in this world and the next. (Baghawi). What will we do the next time we are tempted to backbite or hear slander in our presence? Right now the choice is ours!

We ask God the Most High, the All Powerful, to teach us that which will benefit us, and to benefit us by that which we learn. May God grant blessings and peace to our Prophet Muhammad and his family and companions.

Jazakallah for those crescent, I've read most of those Hadith before and it's always nice to read them again, it refreshes my memory.

Can someone please explain something for me? Why is the number 786 used so often by Muslims? What's the importance of it? I asked my dh but he doesn't know either, he's just accepted it but was never told the reason behind it like most things he has been taught.

Has anyone else got any dc starting school in september? I'm getting nervous about my dd not getting our preferred school. We're out of catchment but I'm hoping the sibling rule applies.

At work so quick response... not read all the messages. 786 caught my eye. It has no meaning in islam.

Will reply in detail later inshallah.

Also ig anyone gets a chance see the daily mail article about extremists taking over schools. Pathetic reporting. Cannot link as at work. Will catch up later. Ps: dont read it if they make your blood boil

Salaam.

lost sis, your post about backbiting was really good and thought provoking. It is something i really want to ensure that my kids understand how awful it can be along with slander. crescent I read the dua by Hasan al Basri, in the hope that Allah saves me. It is a wonderful dua. Talking of moderation in worship, i am really struggling with khushu in my salaah. It just seems to be rushed and just not to a satisfactory standard

lost sis, 786 doesnt have any authentic basis in islam. It represents bismillah numerically if you assign each letter a number - apparently it totals up to 786. I remember many many years ago, my mum used to write it on a letter that she would write to her mum. She would tell me that she didnt want to write bismillah, in case the letter ended up on the floor or something.

It is not a practice that she engages in any more as it doesnt have any basis in islam.

I was going to link to the DM article but have decided against it as its just a waste of time and energy.

lost. I hope inshallah your dcs get a place at your chosen school. Sibling attendance does carry some weight, but not always - depending on how popular the school is. Try not to worry sis, though i know thats easier said than done.

Sis defuse, I once watched a youtube video by a sister who'd been to a talk by Nouman Ali (I think), and the whole point of the lecture was attaining Khushu, she siad he made a point of saying you need to start your prayer fully concentrating from when you make your intntion, she said from then she always made sure she was totally focussed at the start which helped her with the actual salat. She said sometimes she started and realised she wasn't even sure if she'd made the intention corrreclty so would stop and start again.

I've tried to do that too, it's surprising how much more focussed and aware you become when you aren't sleepwlaking thro your salat thinking of all the chores you still need to do and places you need to be!

Jazakallah defuse, thank you for explaining that.

It's funny you should mention khushu in salat, just yesterday when I was praying I made sure I focused 100% and didn't rush it. I think it took double the amount of time it normally does! It was much easier without the kids hanging around, I find I've normally always got one ear listening out for them and then my mind wanders and I always feel guilty afterwards that I wasn't completely focused.

Salaam all.

fuzzy i will try to concentrate - like you say, i tend to start thinking of all the millions of things i still have to do and then i feel annoyed that i didnt concentrate. Oh and if its not the chores, then its the kids like lost said. There is always an excuse! Will try to imagine myself standing in front of my Lord. Inshallah that should help me concentrate.

Assalamualaikum,

Happy Jummah, remeber the Ummah and all of us in your duas today inshallah.

I've recently decided to try and do Qiyam ul Layl, it's fine on the days I fast but gosh I love my sleep and it is such a struggle subhanallah, I've decided to get up about fifteen minutes before the start of Fajr inshallah.

My youngest was reciting surah Muzzamil and it struck me I really really should try inshallah;

"The person who wants to pray qiyaam al-layl should realize that Allaah is calling him to qiyaam. When the slave realizes that his Master, Who has no need of peoples worship, is calling him to do this, he will respond. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): O you wrapped in your garments (i.e., Prophet Muhammad)! Stand (to pray) all night, except a little. Half of it, or a little less than that, or a little more; and recite the Quraan (aloud) in a slow, (pleasant tone and) style. [al-Muzzammil 73:1-4]. "

My mum used to tell us the following hadith;

Abu Hurayrah (radhi allahu anhu) reported that the Messenger of Allah (sallallahu alaihi wa-sallam) said: Our Lord descends every night to the lowest heaven, when only one third of the night has remained. He says: Who will invoke Me, so that I may give him? Who will seek My forgiveness, so that I may forgive him. [Saheeh al-Bukharee and Saheeh Muslim] In another report, he adds: Then Allah extends His Hand and says: Who wants to invest (good deeds) with the One who is not wasteful or unjust? He continues to say this until the dawn arrives. [Saheeh Muslim]

It's just thinking of this that motivates me to get up even when every part of me just wants to sleep. And its good trianing for Ramadan Inshallah.

Obviously I don't pray half or even a third of the night. Waking up enough to pray with sincerity at that time is the hardest of all, but ocassionally I have made that connection and then I don't want to sleep but continue to pray. To be that connected in every salah would be amazing subhanallah.

I like the weekends the most for Qiyam ul Layl, when I get up I console myself that I can pray as long as I like becasue I can be snuggled up in my warm bed till late in the morning after lol, I actually sleep better afterwards too for some reason Alhumdulillah.

I'll tell you something really daft, I never knew that the Ramadan salat ul Taraweeh is no more than Qiyam ul Layl, I never knew this till I was reading up about Qiyal ul Layl (a few weeks ago!), how dozy am I?

PS sis Crescent I totally envy your flat stomach, mine is crepey and wrinkly! And I don't even have thatm any children! On the up I do have amazing bladder control lol

Jumma Mubarak all!

Just a few more days before I go umrah and can you believe it ladies, remember when I said about avoiding being on my menses when going? Well my periods are normally so regularly, except this month has been bloody crazy, and I am due to come on the day of travel!!

All I can do is laugh about it, this is surely a test from the almighty! Anyway I have decided to take the tablets to delay my period, I can't waste the opportunity of prayer when there.

Hope you are all well, forgot to pray surah kahf this morning, but will listen to it! Finding it a challenge to also wake up for fajr especially as I'm now back at work full time but I am trying alhamdollilah.

Remember me in your duaa's x

Oh sis LittleTulip, May Allah grant you offspring who will be the coolness of your eyes andd may he reward your patience and fortitude and may you he grant you a fulfilling Umrah and accept your worship and grant you forgiveness..

Remember us all in your duas inshallah.

Salam everyone. Just dropping in to say hi. I'm loving all the hadiths and other wisdom people are posting about.

Does anyone else feel as though the year is passing so quick? I can't wait for summer though.

Also, has anybody on here or does anybody on here know someone who has completed an open university course? If you know anything about them, then please can you tell me how time consuming it is? I have three young children, would it be too much? How long did it take? Thanks in advance if anyone can answer those questions for me.

Other than that, sisters, please keep up the good work inshaAllah. You are all an inspiration and such dedicated muslimahs, I feel privileged to "know" you all. Especially when I see those that take the time to correct peoples' misconceptions about islam on other threads. May Allah give you all a high station in jannah and give you ease in this life.

Salaam all.

crescent , my in laws have got some sort of burial fund which means that they will be taken to Pakistan and buried there. I dont really understand it as, isnt there a hadith which states that you must be buried where you die? Not sure though. But not gonna argue with them

What can i say about my tummy and bladder control.....well...the less said, the better

tulip , so happy for you mashallah umrah will be amazing. ummshi i must admit i am enjoying the sunny days, but its still coooollllllddddd.

fuzzy , you are amazing for doing qiyam outside of ramadan mashallah.

Asalaam Alaikum sisters!

I posted back in September in the old thread and then to be honest forgot to come back to it and to Mumsnet to be honest!

How are you all?