Christening dilema

[Meggymoose]

We had dd1 baptised when she was 7 months old and chose 2 godparents. DD2 has now come along and we would also like to get her baptised. After very serious and careful consideration, we asked dh cousin and his wife to be godparents as we felt they had all the qualities and commitment we would hope for of godparents. They agreed and said they would be delighted. Three weeks later they have called to say they have changed their minds as they didn't feel they could offer the commitment required. Not only that, after they agreed, we found they could not make the date the Church had given us. We have asked the secretary for a new date as the baptism could not take place without the godparents - and they knew about this. I feel very hurt for DD2 as if she has been rejected.

There is no-one else we would want to ask (other than the two that DD1 has) so I'm thinking that it is better not to have DD2 baptised. However, it feels wrong that DD1 is and DD2 won't be.

Dh and I can be godparents but we specifically wanted it not to be us, in case anything happens to us. We thought it was too much to ask DD1's god parents again?
Any thoughts/suggestions? Thanks.

I actuklly think it's quite brave of them to say that they couldn't make the commitment ionstead of just going ahead with it anyway - it shows that they really thought about it - even though it is very disappointing for you.
I am god mother to 2 children in the same family - I was really surpised when my friend asked me to be her DS's god mother after being her older DD's but she said "You are so good at being DDs godmother that we couldn't find a better one...." which was lovely so I'm sure your DD1's god parents would feel the same.

Don't feel hurt, it shows that
a) they were really pleased to be asked and
b) they gave your request serious consideration and took the role of godparent seriously.

I don't think its too much to ask DD1s godparents to do it again, particularly if you feel they will 'do the job' if anything happened to you.

Definitely agree, ask dd1's godparents again, explaining there is no-one else better. Dd1 has one half of a couple we are friends with and dd2 the other, and ds will have both!

Or you could attend the church where the baptism will take place for a while in case there is anyone there you make friends with who you would like to ask.

I'm in a dilemma too ove rds's baptism as I no longer go to the church where our dds were baptised, but on balance I think it best for ds to be baptised the same as his sisters. Now we just need to decide where!

Thanks for your comments.
Should I be honest with DD1's godparents about the fact they were not the first people we asked?

I would be meggymoose - if they are good enough friends, they will understand. Just tell them what you told us

Took your advice and was really honest with DD1 godfather. he was cool about it and said he would be delighted to be DD2's godfather too. Just need to talk to godmother next week when we visit her. Thanks !

That is great news. I have just read your post and also agree that the first couple you asked were brave to refuse and in the long run it is definately better for your dd2 not to have godparents who don't live up to the job.

My brother is ds' godfather along with my best friend and since ds' was christened has married someone who I love with wonderful qualities. For dd who is 6 months I have asked my brother to be godfather again and his wife to be godmother. I am very happy with that decision. TO be honest if anything happened to us I would want my children to be with my brother and his wife so this makes perfect sense.

Now all I have to do is get around to arranging the Christening!! Lots of family pressure to do it asap as I was christened when I was two weeks old!

Update - we have asked both of DD1's godparents to be godparents for DD2. We were honest about why they were being asked and they both understood and both agreed to be DD2's godparents. Thanks for your advice!

Cool!