A sort of AIBU read (sorry) thinking through my options for Sunday morning service

[chopin33]

Hello all, just seeking some opinions please. Last September we moved house now live in ex council house in a biggish village close to Manchester, kids moved schools,settled in etc all good. Prior to this we rented in another village and as from DS being a baby I took him and DD to the local church there was the big church where we used to go once a month, the other sundays we attended the parish centre where they had a sunday school - kids went out after the readings and came back in beforeHC. In Jan this year I decIded to give our local church a go there was a nice vicar on a house odf duty and his wife ran sunday school. A few children come to church sporadically but my two the only ones who attend regular. The vicar left in June and since then the post has been vacant. Now thePCC hand the kids colouring books when we go in and a cushion to kneel on the floor, during the notices one of themwill say "thank you to the children for being so good" The point of my post is that I don't really think this is a proper set up. For the kids and am seriously considering moving back to the old church. This new church has a tiny congregation core of about fifteen which has dwindled since vicar left in June, a number of increasingly poined remarks are being made during the notices about not having enough money, PCc are the only ones doing anything and so on. Sorry to waffle on, just be interested to know what you would do? TIA chopin

How long is the post likely to be vacant? Are the DC happy, or bored? Would anyone help you if you wanted to do something more constructive with the kids?

Sorry, I shouldn't have just asked lots of questions. I wouldn't automatically leave the church but would look to see if the present situation was likely to persist for a long time, or if you could do anything to change it for the better.

chopin I agree, see if you can make it better. But ultimately, if you feel your DCs are 'suffering' in the sense the church does not offer enough for them then I would leave and find somewhere that better meets their needs. Our church has gotten rather small in last 4 years and Sunday school has dwindled down to about a quarter of its former size. I am not happy and have tried to do all I can get new kids in but it is hard. I am definitelyt not someone who believes it should all be about what the church can do for me but in this case it is about your kids needs.

Whatever you do I wish you the best.

I think adults can compromise better than children in this kind of circumstance - so moving to a church that is better for your children but less good for you is preferable to the other way around. Churches are supposed to meet the needs of the whole congregation and that includes children. If your children cannot be provided for properly, definitely leave and don't feel guilty about it! Different churches are there for different people and that's fine.

To you all,

I juts wanted to say a really big thank you for replying to my post, I have read all your replies very carefully.

In response if I may to the various points:-

Yes we had a meeting with the Bishop a month or so ago. The suggestions were either to get another house of duty vicar or for the church to link up with a vicar in a nearby (bigger) church. They have gone with the second option. This means that basically the vicar of the nearby church will come and lead the service each Sundaty but we have been categorically told that nothing else will change and everthing will remain the same.

The only option I can see for a Sunday school is if hold it myself - essentially it will mean holding a sunday school just for them. I find it hard to see much meaning in that.

I have decided to leave the present church and take the children back to the old church: for the moment they will agree to come to church and sit quietly with a colouring book but I can quite see that if a few years time they will question going and rebel. The old church has as mentioned a sunday school but also a youth club for when they are older and classes leading upto confirmation as well.

But thank you all so much I was very touched you replied.

Have a great Christmas!